<$BlogRSDUrl$>

Thursday, October 31, 2002

So... It's my 19th Birthday and expecting to sleep in... I get a call at about 9 am.. Avril Lavigne called me for my birthday! It was so fun. I didn't believe it was her, but she proved me beyond a doubt and we talked for like.. 15 minutes... it was GRAND. So She has promised me an autographed bra, a tape of the conversation to prove to people it happened, and some other assorted goodies. and then I had potatoe chips for Brekkie. They were went back to bed til 2 pm.. had some cheese danish and took a shower.... drove to blockbuster and turned in some movies... went and got some Mr. Pibb at the Giant.. then I came home and sat online.. Fun Fun I know. I called my egg donor earlier, too. We actually didn't fight this time. *look of amazement inserted here*. Then I called Tarah and my father and now I am here... .talking to My Beautiful, Fabulous Kelly. and BTW... Cody.. It's not nice to scare superman without giving him a roll of toilet paper to use afterward... those kinda memories stick to whites.. ya know? ANYWAY... I am going to BadLands tonite then we're gonna go drink a 6-pak infront of the White House and throw the cans on the lawn for fun.. So I'll update on this tomorrow... MUCH LOVE!!!!!!
.....

I'm so upset. I was reading this cool looking blog that I might be interested in checking out every couple of days or something and then I had to close everything cause I had to work and I forgot to look at the address and I have no idea how to find it again. I did a google search but "Where the Sidewalk Ends" is just too common. And it makes me sad. Cause the guys doing it seemed like they could be funny and interesting. DAMN YOU SQUEEGEE!!!!!!!!

That's pretty sad, I just looked up in the dictionary how to spell that...I never would have guessed.

I miss T and MP. They were some of the coolest guys to hang out with. Too bad T is in jail and MP, well, he's still around, I just don't see him a lot. And they were more fun(n) together. And I always had a bit of a crush on T. But now I realize how bad he would be for me and all that jazz. Actually I knew back when I started liking him that he would be nothing but trouble, but such is a young girl's heart.

It's weird but I feel like I am constantly growing. I can look at who I was at the beginning of the summer and say I was young. It's pretty strange to age so quickly but I kinda like it. I'm not exactly growing older, just wiser (said with a straight face, cause honestly 18 isn't old at all). I guess it's a good thing cause I think I'm always out to better myself. If someone has a problem with anything I do/say or anything like that, I ask why and try to adjust. That could be good and that could be bad I guess. I do get walked over a lot. But it's also nice to be such a nice person (not being egotistical or conceited at all!) that whenever I'm not happy, people do whatever they can to cheer me up.

Does any of this make sense? Try to understand me. dreamcatcher_gurl@yahoo.com

Is it just me or is the clock wrong?

I'm writing just for the sake of looking like I'm doing something. Most of the "issues" I write about I honestly don't care about. . . unless I'm pissed off then I need to vent and at the time it's important, but if I read it later I think it's a waste of time.
blah-blah-BLAH! I want to suck your blah-Blah-BLOOD! I should be a vampire next year. Wouldn't it be cool to have fangs? Yah! But they wouldn't be like regular teeth in the sense that they're stationary. They would retract or. . . uh what's the word - I don't know. . . unretract whenever I wanted them to. I could scare the hell out of my little brother! That'd be great!!

I would like to move out! I'm not totally sure why I decided to go on to college. I wanted to get a degree in accounting, but I'm starting to think I won't be happy with it. It's a job I know I'd be good at, but - DAMN! - I feel like I'm wasting my time here. I could be working a "9-5" job and making real money instead of spending all this money! It's like I'm digging myself a really deep hole and the sky is beginning to disappear. It seemed like a great idea at the time. When ever people ask me how college is going I tell them I love it, but I'm kind of lying. My classes are cool, but when I look at the big picture nothing's moving along. I wonder if all new freshmen think this way at one point. Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice! Maybe I'll change my mind as my credits start to build up. I hope so!

"One must be patient in these endeavors."-chem teacher Jr. year (coolest teacher I ever had!) "AMAZING!"

Wow the strange people that type here. I didn't come here to type some silly quote but now I think I'll feel a little left out if I don't...hmmm. Putting on my "silly cap"...that is so stupid. I'm sorry if you think it's funny and a great little thing but really...I had a teacher in school that would tell us to get out our "thinking caps" or put on our "happy hats" or other such silly nonsense. It tainted the whole hat issue for me....not really cause I love hats and wear them all the time but still.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEVI!!!!! I'm sooooo glad you called and I'm sorry we didn't get to talk for very long. And I'm sorry I made you chat to P (not that you wouldn't want to or anything, I'm just sorry I didn't chat instead). But I did warn you that Justin would be a distraction.

So...State Street tonight I'm thinkin. I dunno for sure or not, cause I'm tired and tommorrow is really going to suck but...I dunno, I want to have fun. Want to hear my costume? I have these black tight pants and at the bottom there is a slit in the side and it's lined with cheeta print fabric and laces up. The same fabric is around the waistband. And then I have a tight black shirt to wear over a cheeta print bra. And a black headband with cat chetta print ears and a cheeta print choker. And a spiky bracelet I might wear. So I'm thinkin it's kinda cat like but if I wear the bracelet and bring my fuzzy handcuffs....hmmmm

Anyway, still waiting for that silly quote? Sorry, I gotta go to lunch.

One year, for Holloween I dressed up like a ghost and scared Superman! Well, Superman was only 5 or 6.

"Those people that take your money at the toll booth are pimpin' out the road. . . or the state line. State-line-road pimps!"-notebook quote of the day brought to you by ME

Levi's Quote of the day

This is about as effective as a submarine with screen doors!

ENCORE!!

Giving that kid a liscense is like giving a chimpanzee a revolver!

Wednesday, October 30, 2002

So.. yeah.... I turn 19 in like.. 45 minutes my time... and I'm gonna call Kelly =o )

I am bored. I'm sitting here at work, pretending to be proof reading a newletter filled with useless crap that we only put out to try and get more money outta the poor suckers we advertise for. Don't get me wrong, people are always using our books and everyone knows about them. I just don't like the newsletter. Don't ask me why, but it bothers me.

Hmm, almost 3 which means break time. I forgot my book at home (am I redundant?) so I've been listening to the tape me and P made last night. And now heeeeeerrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeee'''ssssssssss break time!

IT'S PAYDAY!!!! I had completely fogotten. And I don't have a car payment to pay! And I already have cash! And I put all of my check last payday in my checking account so I can put this in savings!! Exciting!!! This is great!

-----------------------------------

Ok, break time isn't over yet but I just had a memory trip and thought I would share it with you. Last year I was a senior in high school and also a co-editor of the yearbook. And we had a senior survey like almost every other school and they were pretty general questions. Who has best hair/smile/eyes/car/ect. Well, I was in charge of that section so I got to count the votes. And as I was going through the completed ballots, I saw my name on one of them for best smile. It surprised me cause I wasn't a super popular person in school, I had friends and all but I wasn't preppy. But by the time I got done counting everything I had 4 votes for best smile, 3 for best hair and 6 for worst car. I guess it's not that big of a deal, but just getting voted for made me feel super special.

Blame the Goat. - Shel Silverstein

"Goats are love. Don't them the die driving a bus weighted down with babies and unfulfilled dreams. Be free and always live alone. Don't waste time thinking cause nothing you will do will make a difference and then there is more time for coffee."--my boss.

Sheep go to heaven, Goats go to hell. - Cake

Don't ask me what inspired the sudden goat literature. I just felt like sharing.

I am a whiney bitch. What a whiney whiney bitch...fuck it.

Ok. Last night was pretty cool. Monday was P's b-day and she turned 21. So her and I celebrated last night and I got to hang out with P all night and eat food and drink liquor and it was good. I enjoyed it. We sat in my room and listened to music and talked for a couple of hours, then we ate, then we drank our fave drink of Captain and Coke in a gatorade bottle (in my room without my parents knowledge, hehehe, sad sad little teenager). It was good and I don't know how we passed the time, but we talked a lot. Then we walked to the park. Danced to music in our heads and walked home. Well I walked slowly home and P walked faster in circles around me. I got dizzy watching her and trying to hold the tape recorder to where she could be heard. It was pretty funny. The rest isn't that great cause it involves me laughing a lot and both of us trying on halloween costumes. It was interesting that's for sure.

I think it's weird how I switch moods soooo much. Yesterday I was almost crying at work and now I think I was just really stupid. It makes no sense.

Man am I hungry.

Tuesday, October 29, 2002

Well...I feel sick. I don't know it's from the guilt of saying what I feel or if it's because I ate potato chips for breakfast. Tough call. I'm thinking it's from guilt. Why should I feel guilty of saying how I feel? I know why, it hurts feelings. I hate hurting people. I hate having people resent me for making them feel bad. I really hate drama and the issues that come up from it. I hate having to cause a ripple and afraid I can't leave well enough along. But how well is well enough and how bad does it have to get before it's not? I don't know. I don't know anything. I wonder if I'm just overanalyzing everything like always. If it's nothing and I'm just stupid for worrying. I try my hardest not to cause issues. I don't like to gossip and I don't like saying how I feel about situations because I might not have all the info and sound like a fool. So is it me?

I just noticed how many sentences I write that start with "I". What does that say?

I want to disapear for a week or more and see if people miss me. I wonder if I could. Probably, no one would notice for the first couple of days anyway.

My boss has found out how much I appreciate music and is bringing in random cds he has. Most of them are artists that haven't or will never hit mainstream. Like Angie Aparo. He might still be really popular. He wrote Cry, the song that Faith Hill is now doing. I dis-like Faith Hill and have since I don't know when. And to hear her sing his song, upsets me. He should be popular for singing it. But it's a great song and however it gets around, I'm glad people can enjoy it. Am I making sense? Didn't think so. Right now I'm listening to Jess Klein. She has a very neat-o voice. And some good songs too.

"Cody you should find somebody." The next person that tells me this is getting drop-kicked, bitch-slapped, hog-tied, rocked, socked, picked up and dropped, put in a bag and ziploced with my least favorite left shoe up their @$$!!!! AH! (twitch) I don't want people I know, or more recently and especially people I hardly know, setting me up. I CAN'T TAKE THE PRESSURE!! (twitch) Why is it so hard for anyone to think I can set myself up? Just because I have yet to do it doesn't mean I can't.
p.s.This is not written FOR anyone! I just needed to vent!!!! AH! (twitch)

and I LOVE TWEEK!!!!!!!

". . . and then there's the squirrel cage. . . "-notebook quote of the day brought to you by ME

Everything is ok with J. We had a talk and he admitted he overreacted and I said I was wrong too and all was cool again.

Ya know, I've never before had to doubt a friendship. I never actually wondered if someone trusted me or if they truly cared. I find myself doing that more and more often. Actually having to work it out in my mind if someone values me. I mean, I automatically think everyone likes me, I'm not conceited or anything, it's just, there have only been two or three people in my life that I've met that don't like me. At least that I knew about. But I digress. The point is, do the friends that I have really care about me? And if they do, why do I feel so distant from them?

Monday, October 28, 2002

Thinking profounly is starting to become very dificult, but before my profound thinking pittered out for the weekend I was able to come up with a odd-ball theory. I think it's possible to wait too long for your first kiss. If you think about it (even if it hurts) doesn't it make sense? See the first kiss gives you your first glimps into the whole love scene. You start to get curious and you begin to fully enjoy the thought of love. It's no longer a world where boys have cooties. . . they've got other things that you won't run away from (unless. . . nevermind). But here's the thing, if you don't get that first kiss right quick and early, you start to lose your perception. Love becomes fake to you. It's almost another thing a card company invented. This may sound sad and depressing, but it's not ment that way, and for all those out there still waiting for that first kiss don't lose hope I still have to find that actual age or point in ones life when it actually becomes to late.

"I'm starting to really feel bad about being me."-notebook quote of the day brought to you by ME

Wow, I wrote a bunch of bullshit the other day without even realizing it. Ignore me.

This weekend was pretty eventful. I got into my first fight with J. And it wasn't really a fight...more like, he's pissed off and not looking or talking to me and I'm feeling like crap, getting talked to and about the situation. It wasn't even that big of a deal. But I guess, whenever I'm sad, everyone feels like it's their responsibility to cheer me up. The only one successful at it was E. I dunno, but I like the guy. He seems like he cares. If he wasn't so old and I wasn't with J...hmmm.

So I had another first this weekend. I, yes me Kelly, went into a sex shop. Called the G-Spot and located in Wisconsin Rapids, it is an adult store with a wide varity of...um...stuff. I saw things in there that would give me nightmares! Some of the stuff in the women self-pleasure section...wow, one in particular was about a foot and half long, spiky and neon blue. wow...scary.

Friday, October 25, 2002

Feeling like it's a quiet day. Or should be but co-workers are a little on the rowdy side. I don't feel like joining in the pleasantries. It's an anti-social day. No real reason except it's a beautiful wintery day. With freezing rain coming down from an overcast sky. You can see your breath freeze in the air as you exhale. And when you inhale, you can feel the cold seeping into your lungs and spread to your body. Still, for some reason I love these days. It seems the perfect opportunity to curl up on the front porch in a sleeping bad, reading a great book and holding a cup of hot chocolate to warm your hands. Call me crazy, but I love feeling the crisp quality and smelling the temperature of the air.

Ahhh Wisconsin. And yet I still miss Colorado. After 5 years, I wish to return, even if just for a visit. I miss the strong, warm winds. The open sky. I miss the hint of mountain shadows on the distant horizon. I miss Timberlake, where we would hunt geese and ducks. John Martin Reservoir where we would swim, jumping off the cliff. And Vogal Canyon where there was alway the threat of rattlesnakes, but the lure of ancient Indian painting was stronger. I miss the tree in our neighbors backyard where we would hide out from parents, siblings and the world. I miss walking to Loaf n' Jug at night with my friends, thinking we were the coolest girls in all the world. I even miss the decorative and wild yucca plants stabbing into my skin.

If I ever did go back to La Junta, I'd like to ride my bike around. Start from the south, near the pool with the big slide and baseball/softball fields where I learned to play and make my way thru the town. Ride downtown, visiting Six Star which we always made fun of and the Fox Theatre where I saw so many movies. Then go on to the Middle School I attended for only 1 year the way it stands now. And then move on to the City Park, one of the only green spots in town. After that it would be up the hill to the High School and the view of the city from the top. I'd go down the back side, a short cut to East Elementary School. I would prolly stop to play on the playground equipment where so much gossip was spread. Then it would be time to go across the bridge spaning the train yard and muddy Arkansas River. Past Loaf n' Jug and on to my old house on Elm St. There I would stand and look. Examining where my house used to be. Trying to find some hint that I grew up in a white house with a red roof that used to stand right here. However, there is nothing left except for a crumbly foundation, stained with water marks.

However, I know that if I did go back to La Junta, I wouldn't feel the nostalgia everyone romanticises. Just bitter dissapointment from an unhappy childhood.

Thursday, October 24, 2002

I'm sorry Levi. Men do suck. But women suck too. And which would you rather deal with? I wish I could choose neither. But I love men too much.

Nothing really new here. Stayed at home and watched movies with my parents. Ghost. Mr. Deeds. In bed by a quarter to 10. Exciting times.

A lot of my friends have stopped calling. I only have about 2 friends my age tho. Some are a year younger and still in school. Others are older and I don't see them a lot besides when I call them or we run into each other. C and P are my two best friends and I talk (or email) C every day. With me and P it goes in streaks. We'll hang out every day for a week and then she'll dissapear and I'll have no way to get a hold of her. Her phone got disconnected so I can't call her.

And Levi doesn't have a phone. Gee thanks Levi, always thinking of yourself and never about how much I might need to talk to you. Just kidding, much luv.

Wednesday, October 23, 2002

So yeah... me and Guy broke up AGAIN... and I had to move.. AGAIN.. I hate men... I really really do. I wish I had made things work with Miles... he was a GREAT match for me... but shit happens. So yeah.. other than that I am doin ok.. I took a second job... It sucks... but it's only 3 nights a week. ahhh well. I am thinking about selling my car.... I dunno.. maybe

Kelly... come one MSN sometime... I miss talking to you, and I dun have a phone right now.. so I can't call

Quote for the day (this is for you Levi) -

"You vant a Vanilla Cock?"
"Um, a Vanilla coke please."
"Vhat is vhat I say."

I'm having a very hard time concentrating on one task at a time. I'll be working on the computer and suddenly think of some random quote I'd been trying to remember so I would have to stop and write it down. It really bugs me. My mind is so flighty. And writing that thing down will remind me I have to call this person and talking to them will make me wish I wasn't at work and that I wish I was out doing other stuff and then I'll sit and daydream for 15 mins before I start wondering why I'm not done with a project ------- See, I just got interupted. Strange how that works. I dunno, I've boring myself now. I just want to sit and be extremely thoughtful for an hour. I haven't gotten enough time to sit and think lately. It makes me sad. In order to entertain my friends with my constant chatter, I don't get as much time as I would like to just sit and think. ho well. ho ho ho well.

I would just like to say that I love Sublime. And it makes me very sad to think that Brad is dead.

How could you not care what band you met as long as they were famous? That's a foreign concept to me. I asked a co-worker what band she would like to meet if she got a chance and she said she didn't care, she just thinks it'd be cool to meet someone famous. Honestly, I couldn't care less about people being famous, I just like chillin with the people who's music I love so much. Like I got to talk and laugh with the guys from Third Strike and it was no big deal (they were cool as hell).

Ahhh, I don't get it. Fuck fame

Saw very scary movie last night. The Ring. I had never heard anything about it before yesterday. Then Penny Arcade came out and said they thought it was super duper scary, so I thought I might have to take a look. When telling my parents what movie J was taking me to, Dad told me the plot and I was worried. When hearing the silly tale, I was expecting something like feardotcom (HORRID AWFUL MOVIE). But I tried to remain in high hopes, trusting in penny arcade. They didn't disapoint. It was really scary. Even if it might not have been totally plausible plot...it was still freaky.

On the way to the movie last night, J commented on how he liked my mom's cooking (she made gumbo, bleck) and how it's always good to have a mother-in-law that can cook.

me: We're getting married?
J: Well, it's an idea.
me: Oh, I see how it is.
J: Yup, we're going to build our own house, have 16 kids, you'll stay at home, I'll work full time and we'll take care of each other.
me: 16!?!
J: Ok, 3?
me: 2..if that
J: I'm not gonna stop til I get a boy...

It was a cute conversation. I had fun joking around. Then we went and got scared outta our minds from the movie. What a great time! It was supposed to be kinda a date but I don't really think it was. I'm scared of dates. I don't think I've ever been on a real one. ie Dinner, movie, drinks. Not that I can even frickin drink in a bar. That sucks but oh well.

Tuesday, October 22, 2002

your%20ideal%20mate(s)%20are%20Merry%20and%20Pippin!
Who is your Ideal Lord of the Rings (male) Mate?

brought to you by Quizilla

hehehehe

Monday, October 21, 2002

miscomunications suck, but hopefully it's all good. once again i'm not exactly happy. it sickens me the way i complain and whine, although no one hears me anyway. fuck em.

Am so tired. Stayed home from work on Friday after staying up til 1:30. It doesn't seem that late but after going to bed at 2 the previous night and 1 the night before that...it kinda all added up. Plus Thursday night was stressful. The Boston Store decided my check wasn't good enough for them so P had to buy me a ticket to Miss Saigon and I had to pay her back. Good thing she still owed me $28 from the Incubus concert so I only had to pay her $24. So it was all good. Then in trying to hurry and find the civic center in Madison, we got wrong directions and had to run a couple of blocks to get there on time. P swears we didn't have to run but I think it was fun. So we saw the play. Great good play. The guy who played Chris wasn't my favorite, but the actor who played John... *melting*. He was really really hot and he could sing. I about died. And the guy who played the Engineer was awesome. I guess he's traveled around the world performing this play. Very enjoyable.

So we left and got lost for 45 mins before asking some guy at McDonalds where to go. He told us, then we tried to do it, but we couldn't quite pull it off. Oh well. We got home around 12 (P decided to crash at my house) and I still had to do some stuff before work so I did that and didn't go to bed 'til 1. Sucky sucky for your wang.

I woke up at 8:14 saying "OH SHIT!". Jumped up, grabbed the phone and called work. I told the receptionist that I would be there in a half hour, but she told me to talk to my supervisor. She got on the phone and asked how I was feeling, I said pretty bad and she told me to go to bed. I didn't want to offend her or anything so I did. And slept until 11:30. P and I proceeded to spend the day walking around downtown and drinking Chai.

My father came home and we went to get cell phones. I needed a new one cause my old one sucks. So we got those. Horray. Then I went home and C came over. The plan was to watch a bunch of girly, want-to-make-you-cry-movies and eat Ben and Jerry's. Well, that was too much for us. So when P came back over, we watched Red Firecracker, Green Firecracker and laughed. RFGF is a chinese film about a woman running a business so she acts and dresses like a man. She's not keeping it a secret that she's a woman or anything, but she was the only child and her father and advisors didn't want the firecracker-making company to go to some other family. She falls in love with an artist that pretty much rapes her and has to choose. Well, it turns out all fucked up like. So if you want a laugh, rent it. Be advised it has subtitles.

After that we went to Kitchen. I only got to see J for a bit, but his dad was there and he offered to buy me a steak. I was kinda shocked. Not in a bad way or anything but how often do have someone you've never met offer to buy you a steak. I'm gonna have to say that was the first for me. But I said no thanks. Oh well, J left early cause he had a headache and had to work in the morning. So I sat and talked to C, M and a guy named E. He told us about his blind date from hell. And it truly was the worst story I had ever heard. E was really funny and I enjoyed talking to him. I might have flirted a little but who cares? It's fun and hurts no one, right? Right? So I feel a little guilty. I don't take it serious and I hope no one else does either. Oh well. We left Kitchen around 4 ish. Whilest saying goodbye to a friend, he instead invited us to go over to his house and watch Snatch. We said ok and went, first stopping at the store for donuts, choco milk and cigs. I ate my donut, watched about 10 mins of the movie and fell asleep. Which pissed me off, cause I really wanted to see the movie. I woke up in time for the credits. Sitting and talking until the sun came up, we passed the time mindlessly. We left and I got home around 8 am, just in time to see my parents off for their bike ride. I woke up at various time during the day, stayed awake for an hour once even, but mostly slept until 5:30 pm.

Did pretty much nothing that night. Watched a movie, got yelled at by my dad and talked on the phone for 3 hours. That's about it. I got into bed at about 11, fell asleep around 11:50, got woke up at 12 by J calling. Talked to him for 15 mins or so. Went back to sleep, woke up at 2 by my father to go hunting.

As much as I complained, looking back on hunting, I had a lot of fun. It was hard work canouing in 4 inches of water and 3 ft (more or less depending on where you stepped) of marsh mud. It took me an hour and a half, but then I took down my two geese within 15 secs of each other. That was cool. So we went home and I sliced my finger while cleaning them.

Called P, took a shower, ate breakfast, waited, waited, waited...P shows up an hour and a half later. Her and KJ eat, then watch tv. Which annoyed me cause I wanted to leave and go see J. He worked at 3:30, it was already 2:15 and it takes around a half hour to get to his place from mine. I gave up at 2:45. I called and woke him up. Whoops, I don't really care. Oh well, talked to him for a little bit. Not long enough. KJ left for work, we left for M and J's to watch the Packer game with M. I was pretty sad the whole night, but no one really knew. After the game we watched Hair and I fell asleep right before the end. Which really pissed me off. Then P made me kick her ass. Her and M together managed to pin me down and start tickling me. not cool. Oh well. I got slapped, scratched and tickled a lot. It sucked. Oh well.

So why was I sad and bitter and depressed you ask? Cause I don't see J enough. Watching P and KJ while I was waiting to leave got me pissed off at them and really jealous at the same time. They're so natural together. And I don't even know if I'm like that with J cause we just don't see each other. And when we do just happen to see each other, there's almost always other people around. Sucky sucky.

I don't want to deal with this again or I'm gonna get all sad all over again. I think I'll go work. yeah....

Seems kinda like a funny quiz but....who cares?


Congratulations, you're New Orleans, the wild city.
What US city are you? Take the quiz by Girlwithagun.

I don't know if reading all this is supposed to make me feel better or worse.

Sunday, October 20, 2002

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population."

Hello all.... OMG what a fucking week. Me and Guy broke up last weekend and I moved out... then I was homeless for 2 days cuz I forgot my credit cards and car keys at his apartment and he was in Atlanta...but everything is SORTA patched up... I am thinking about doing the right thing, breaking up with him, and moving back to Baraboo to deal with my courts dilemma. I am really sick of having it loom over my head.. And Grandma Gall said if do come back and I have to like.. be on a bracelet or something I can stay with her... which would be cool. But I dunno WHAT I'll do yet, but it'd be nice not to have to fly and take cabs everywhere outside of NYC for fear of gettin arrested (ok.. I'm not THAT bad, but I was at first). So Baraboo might be graced with my presence once more.... who knows =o ) I definately know I will NOT be living there, but it'd be nice to come back for a holiday and not fear imprisonment. But enough about my NCIC crime report. =o )
So... Lastnight I go to my FAVORITE bar, Heaven, and theres a new door guy working. Now me must not be able to read english very well, cuz he thought my ID said 10-31-73 and that silly faggot gave me a drinking band. *WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO* So needless to say I got fucking SLOSHED and I could hardly walk the 2 blocks back to my apartment. It was FABULOUS! That about sums up my week now.. I miss you Smelly Kelly! ( I know you hate it, but most people hate their nicknames) and I might see you sooner than expected! LOVE YOU!

And to all my other fans out there... This is Levi saying GO HOME!

Friday, October 18, 2002

t'day t'day t'day. . . I get to haaang ouuuuuuut wiiiiiiith Keeeeeeeeeelllllllllyyyyyyy tonight! I'm so happy. We hardly ever get
to see each other and sometimes when we do get to hang out we get distracted by other things. Like me. I love to talk to people I don't know.

A couple of weeks ago we went to Kitchen and her boy-toy wasn't there. She was feelin' reeeeeeeeally down and I knew it, but I didn't do anything about it. I hung out with other strange folks and had a pretty good time. But Kelly was alone. She went with a friend to buy some cigs and when she got back I swear her face was hangin' like an old woman. I was just waiting for her to cry, but I was afraid to see it, so I stayed away.

At the time part of me was thinking: "This is payback! For all the times I feel like a third wheel this is for you." But she's my best friend! I couldn't understand why I was thinking this. I was always told that everyone has a breaking point and that I should watch out for mine. I guess I didn't see this one coming. I broke. I didn't lash out at anyone, no one was physically hurt, but Kelly was pushed away. I could just kick my own ass for that. And you know the worst part? Today is the first time I've even thought about that night. To not even care or think about it for a week. . . I fell like such a. . . -I don't know what to think. I want to feel bad and apologize and all that shit, but that's not the kind of person I am. I've never been around people that apologized for anything. You can't change the past so what's the point in saying you're sorry? I am the most morbid person I know. I am totally heartless! Even my friends know it and have said so. I can't cry like normal people. Movies don't bother me and even when I see someone else crying, no matter what it's about, I want to tell them to get over it or I want to walk away. Sometimes I actually do walk away. I can't take overwellming showings of emotion. Not the bad stuff anyway: sadness, anger, fright.

I wonder about myself sometimes. I wonder if I'll ever be able to cry for the sake of letting it all out, will I be able to hug someone else because I want them to feel better and not because it's something I know I should do.

If I'm so heartless why does it hurt so bad.I meen literally. There are times when my heart will spasm in my chest and all I can do is wait for it to stop. It's the scariest thing I've ever known. And sometimes it just aches. Maybe I should just see a doctor, but I don't think a doctor's gonna do much good.

I want to get away! I miss Montana so much! That's where I belong, in Montana. I've only been there once but I could draw a picture of it like I'd been there for years. It feels like home. Everytime I think about it I wanna go back. There's a tinge in my stomach that makes me feel like I should be there instead of here. I wish I was.

I always wondered what it would be like to leave. Not tell anyone where I'm going, not even tell them that I'm leaving. Just pack up when no one else is around and hightale it out of town. I would love to be able to do that! I could leave my entire past behind and start over. Starting over is unbelievable. It's like this enormous weight is lifted off you and you have room to hold your head up again. I've felt that once before, but it was just a taste. I didn't move away I just introduced myself to the world. I didn't like what I was becoming so I left friends and a family member behind and tried some new people. New people can make a world of difference. You can stay in the same state and even town and still start over. It feels good to be able to do that.

Thursday, October 17, 2002

I went to the dentist this morning at 7:30. That pretty much sums up my day. It was spent in a daze accented only by sharp pains brought on by the dying novacaine and hunger. It would have been better if I could stayed home. Then I'm sure I could have found some soft food I could manage, but I was stuck at work. Evil, evil work.

Last night pretty much sucked too. I drove all over wasting precious gasoline (or not). I did get to see a movie: The Transporter. Pretty good. Not much for a plot but he takes his shirt off a lot. So it's all good. And to think, when the movie started I didn't find him attractive. I've changed my mind.

But enough about the movie, I was going to talk about my sucky-sucky night. To sum it up: D got a little ticked off with me for caring about her child, I hardly saw J at all and ....I don't know something else....it just sounds better if there are three things.

Yeah, D got a little ignored last night so she sulked for a little bit at her table with GS (her 3 week-old kid if you forgot) and some guy. Then she got up and sat in the booth next to me, a good 15 feet from GS, but he was also outta sight with only some strange guy sitting with him. I was ok with it at first but then 10 mins went by. So I decided to go check on him. He must have just woken up and started crying but no one was paying attention to him so I picked him up and took him to my table with me. He soon fell asleep and after 15 mins or so everyone wanted to smoke, so they told me to put him back in the carseat at the booth 15 ft away. So I did, feeling horrible while doing it. After everyone was done smoking, I went and got the carseat and put it next to my table. D didn't like that. She claimed that no one in Kitchen would try to kidnap her child cause everyone would run and chase him. Well, not if you can't even see to know if he's not there. RRRAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! It's not right and it pisses me right the fuck off.

Wednesday, October 16, 2002

While at the concert the other night, I had the sudden strong urge to be reckless. Brought on by some familar smelling herb, I now crave. I haven't in a month or so. That's a long time. I've been trying to stop, and this last sabbatical I did without a conscious effort. But I think I might lasp. I'm a bad person. Well, maybe not bad but weak-willed. And I know that, all my friends do too and rub it in whenever they can. Great people.

Levi, where are you?

Manohman I've been slacking on the quotes haven't I? Well...

"Never trust a woman with tan armpits. It's just not right."

Good night last night of sitting around and doing nothing. I got to catch up on my tv time that I've been abusing for the last three months. P came over and we watched a made for tv movie on Oxygen about two run-away sisters. The older one is pregnant and they kidnap a lady to help them deliver it. Kinda cool. I also got to listen to the Bartman song. Remember that? And one of the Veggie Tales tapes. I love old stuff like that. Combined P and I have some great music on cassette tapes:

An origional New Kids on the Block
The Chipmunks sing County
Wacky Weirdos
The soundtrack to Newsies
The Kelly Song
The Eric Song
Veggie Tales

It's lots of fun being a dork sometimes. It's also really nice to have a someone or someones to be a dork with. I love my friends.

We also watched Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon last night. I've seen it four times or so. But I still got teary at the end. It was the first time P saw it so she cried. Outright cried. I remember the first time seeing it in the theatre with my family. My sister was in a unreiquited love relationship (her now boyfriend, the jackass) and she bawled the whole way home and a half hour after we got there.

I'M GOING TO SEE MISS SAIGON!!!!!!! I'm really really excited! It's at the Madison Civic Center and I'm going to go see it! Thursday at 7:30!!! I'm really happy. We played some of the music in band and I really enjoyed it. Oh yeah, P has that soundtrack on tape too.

Cheap, nearby McDonalds for lunch or healthy, expensive, far away Subway? Prolly McDonalds. It sucks being lazy sometimes.

Tuesday, October 15, 2002

Well, it was a nice plan, the concert. However, things don't always go as great as they should. Ok, everyone was supposed to meet at my house at 5:30. Ok, P and KJ were waiting for me when I got there, DM showed up the same time I did, C soon after, and J at twenty to 6. So we all piled in C's car and drove the lovely drive to Madison. We went to the mall, cause KJ needed a ticket. While chewing my gum and minding my own business in the ticketmaster closet, I bit down and something crunched. It was pretty sick considering I was just chewing gum. So I covered my mouth and ran to the bathroom. Come to find out, a tooth had broken and I was chewing it. YUCK! That kinda brought down my good mood. But we went and ate at Arby's. Yummy, as long as I didn't drink soda. And that made me really sad too, cause they had Dr. Slice and that's the only place I've seen that has it since I moved from Colorado. At least that I've noticed or cared to make a mental note.

Anyway, we left and went to the concert. Great great great concert. I would have enjoyed it a lot more, however, if the people in the crowd hadn't been so stupid. We got there after Home Town Hero already started. But J and KJ needed smokes. So they ran to the citgo a mile away to get them. So C, DM, P and I went to enjoy the concert. Like I said Home Town Hero had already started, but by the time they took their leave, P and I had already made it to the front. Not the very very front, there were two people in front of me and I was only 2 feet from the fence. We had lost DM right away and C later. I thought I even saw a familar face in the crowd (I did!) It was pretty cool, or it would have been if we hadn't been getting our asses kicked. People were throwing elbows, kicking and doing just about anything to shove their way to the front. P and I were pretty nice about it, but holy fuck, these people are tough. So when the swaying and really hard shoving started when Incubus actually came on...we stayed in the front for two songs and then decided we had enough and headed for the back.

We went out to get a soda and J ran up to us. Out in the lobby, I saw another familar face, two in fact. I sat and talked to SP for a couple of mins. Then my favorite Incubus song came on (Stellar) and I had to run out to watch and listen. All of us were sorta in the back, and J went to find KJ. Somehow they both ended up with us five mins later, but they never found each other. So we chilled and listened. When suddenly we all realized that C was still somewhere in the "pit" (not worring about DM cause he barely made it in the crowd at all). We gave the boys our drinks and said we would be right back. They came with tho, and we found everyone pretty much right away. It was a happy place to be so we hung out on the side almost to the very front. Then some guy walked by and puked right in front of us, some got on P's shoes. A lovely trip to the bathroom revealed that he didn't get a lot on her shoes, but some got on her ankle and whilest in the "pit" I got gum (someone elses) on my pants. Yucky. On the trip back to our group while walking thru the crowd, P got punched in the nose. So we were a little tired and sore and pissed off. But we were determined to feel better. Enjoyed the rest of the concert. Got out, went home.

On the drive we rocked out to Disturbed. Which is more the style of concert I like going to. It's odd, but people are more careful, yet reckless. People take care of each other and aren't just trying to get to the front. At least that's the way my experiences have been. Granted I've only been to Kid Rock, Disturbed twice, the Taste of Madison (WJJO!!!) and now Incubus. I love concerts tho. It's just a happy place - most of the time anyway.

Monday, October 14, 2002

So I was thinkin'. And I realized that today is Oct. 14. So that means...that Incubus is going to be in the Mad town tonight...and guess who's going...ME!!!! Horray! I get to see Incubus! I get to see Incubus! I get to see Incubus! I get to see Incubus! I get to see Incubus! I get to see Incubus! I get to see Incubus! I get to see Incubus! I get to see Incubus! I get to see Incubus! I get to see Incubus! I'm kinda excited, can you blame me? I love them. I wish to marry all of them. Well, not really, but they would be cool to hang out with. If I could choose a band to hang out with for a day, it would either be Incubus or Red Hot Chili Peppers. I haven't been able to choose between them.

Ok, I'm better now...well, not really but...I think I'll stop obessing for the next couple of mins so I can tell ya'll what's going on. Nothing.
[hold on, I got to do some work...yuck. Yucky yucky yucky, waiting for silly co-worker to stop running around like chicken minus head...] Anyway, now that that's done and I have a big ol' stack of papers to worry about now, I can write in peace. Only not. Ya see, I don't really have a lot to say right now.

The Birds do it, Bees do it, Even educated fleas do it... someone did that song all modern-like and I don't know who...And I liked it and would like to purchase it. So if anyone has any idea of who it is/was/can be let me know, eh? dreamcatcher_gurl@yahoo.com

I went to see One Hour Photo last night at the theatre. It was pretty good. I liked it, I liked it even more when I heard the people behind us talk about how boring and slow it was. I don't know why that would make me like it more but it did. Robin Williams can play such a great bad guy. Death to Smoochie was also a great movie where he played a bad guy, Ed Norton played a good guy and it had a great plot. Not only a good guy but a truly wonderful guy. I loved it.

Ouch. I hurt. I slept on the floor on Saturday night/Sunday morning. Well, Sunday morning. Movie night was supposed to be Kevin (kevin, kevin, kevin) Smith night but... we ended up watching The Matrix, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and The Scout. The Scout was an accident, it was supposed to be Clerks but, alas, the reading skills of the employees of Select Video could use a boost. The Scout got done around 6:45 in the morning. By then only J and me were watching, well I was sorta almost asleep, so we all were crashed out in the living room. Only P got a bed, cause she stole M's. M woke up at the end of the movie and we kinda talked till seven. Then we all woke up at the same time at 7:30 for some odd reason; everyone said a sentence and then went back to sleep. Then the same sort of thing happened at 8:30, but then J and I got up and climbed into his bed to sleep. I was asleep and it was sooo nice, then C woke me up. I remember being really really mad. She didn't know, but I was mad, then I woke up and it was all ok. I drove us to my house so she could get her car, only for her to realize that she left her keys there. So I drove her home, came back home, went out to eat with angry dad and sympathetic mom, went home, started watching Packers [work, silly silly work], fell asleep at half time. I woke up feeling rather sick. Called J, he wasn't there so I talked to M, appologized for not coming back over and we decided to go see a movie. Called C, invited her to movie and made plans for concert tonight. DM (oh, I'm a dark and mysterious artist, figure me out) came by and got his ticket from me. Left, met M at theatre and watched movie. Came home, took long hot shower, went to bed, asleep by 10.

It is now 2:08, which means that in two and a half hours, I will hopefully be on my happy way to an Incubus concert! That makes me very very happy.

I wish I knew more about how to use this frickin page. Oh well. Deal with it

bopila bopila baaaaaaaaa. . . it's one o'dem days. I tell ya!

Friday, October 11, 2002

http://www.lagmonster.org/stuff/lifetest

Check it out, it's pretty cool. And it almost works...almost.

Ok, I'm feeling pretty bad right now. See, I was very selfish last night. Ya know how after the movie, C was going to come over and we were going to watch Veggie Tales? Well, maybe you don't but last night P met me at my house. We hung out there, watched Follow That Bird and left for the movie around 7. Got gasoline, ran into a bunch of people that we knew and hadn't seen in a long time... finally left and got to the movie. It was pretty good. Sweet Home Alabama. I thought it was really sweet. But got home after the movie. Hung out waited for C to get off work and show up. She got there at a quarter after 10 and by then P and I had pretty much decided that we wanted to go to Kitchen. We told C and she didn't seem to excited about it. But was all game, she drove (which I really should have but...I'm selfish) and we got there around 11. Hung out inside for 15 mins or so before going outside to play hack. I had to go back in to drag C out but she came out eventually and had fun too. Went back in around midnight. We wanted to leave at 12:30. We didn't walk out to the car until a quarter to, then J and I had to say good bye and make plans and I guess that took a little while. Cause by the time I got into the car it was 10 to 1. C has a 1:oo curfew. And it takes a bit of a drive to get from Kitchen-town A to home town B. She didn't say anything the whole time really. Just turned the music up and drove. She didn't even sing, that's how I knew she was mad. She always sings. Wait, when she hit a skunk, she said something, but that was it. So close to my house, I asked if she hated me and she said no. So I told her to blame it all on me (cause it was my fault anyway) and that her mom could call me if she wanted to. I feel soo bad. And now when I emailed her a song we like, nothing back. I emailed a question about tonight, I got two sentences. So I asked another question about tonight and if she was mad, nothing back. And I know she's at a computer cause she's in Prof. God's class right now. So....I'm gettting ignored right now. And I don't blame her, in fact, I blame me. If I hadn't been all involved in J and making plans and all this, she might have been home on time. At least more so than she was. I don't know what time she got home but I walked in the door at a quarter after and she dropped me off.

WAIT _- I JUST GOT SOMETHING FROM HER....she says she's not mad, just sad and feeling screwed up. And she's says it's not my fault. But she doesn't know how we are right now. Scary. And she needs to bathe her car in tomato juice. Yucky, I'd rather smell the skunk.

I think it might be ok... Papa Smurf likes to Party!

Thursday, October 10, 2002






Do you give a fuck?

This quiz style was designed by alanna, adapted by Batfish Designs, and created by Missanthropy

Oh I didn't get a chance to talk about this yet. So I have a boyfriend, right? Sweet and kind J. Well, now this other guy that I have been interested in since I started working here is talking to me every day. At least once, but normally twice or more! Plus, he calls me sweetie and he'll blow kisses at me... the other day he came in and started rubbing my neck. When I didn't stop him, a min later he quit and said that J might get angry. Does that make me a bad person? Cause as far as I know, it's just a little massage. But other times, he'll put his arm around me and just be a great, sweet, nice guy. AND IT SUCKS! Why me? Why now? Couldn't this have happened, oh I don't know, A MONTH AGO! But no, he has to wait until I'm in one of my first semi-normal relationships before he goes and does all this. What a sucky-sucky-for-your-wang mess. And maybe I'm just blowing it out of proportion but I really did like this guy. Levi told me to compare the pros and cons for each but...I could never hurt J over some guy who I don't even know if anything is possible or will happen, so I don't even want to consider it right now.

Still it's not a fun situation.

Well, it's been a couple of days since I've written anything in here. But it doesn't matter cause I haven't done jack crap. Tuesday I went out to eat with my parents and oldest sister. We went home, played Euchre, got into a fight...fun fun. Good night. Last night I went home, sat on the couch and watched tv most of the night. Oh wait, I spent hours on the phone with Levi too. I also got to take a nap. woo hoo. Really, I mean that (in the most sarcastic and cynical way possible). But P and KJ came over around 10 and we watched Veggie Tales. That was funny.

P and I scare me sometimes. We could just be sitting there, looking at each other and we would laugh. Seriously, we laugh at nothing. We say things that no one thinks is funny except us and that's hillarious. Most of my time with P is spent laughing. It's great. It's going to be insane when we live together. Insane! And then if C moves in too... wow. That is going to be one fun house. Oh nelly-kelly. Scary.

So anyway...yeah. I'm on the phone...talky talky talky. "Shpadoinkle" says the P...dur dur dur. Ok, I'm better now. Plans for tonight...Shoot P at 5, Movie at 7:20ish, Veggie Tales at 10. Good times. We know you're jealous. Just sickly green with envy. And I'm not really going to shoot P. We're just going to go trap shooting with my Dad! Wee fun. Really I do mean that. I like shooting. It's fun.

Owwww, I hurt.

Well it is 1:30 in the pm and I still don't have anything to do. I worked a little this early morning and then not so much late morning, and then not at all this afternoon. Sad and silly it is.

Yeah, I never got to talk to T again before he went to jail. Sad sad times. But hopefully I will see him after he gets out. And if I don't...how depressing.

Tuesday, October 08, 2002

Well, the Packers won. horray. *Yawn* I'm tired. It was a late game...then I had to watch the news...then I had to watch Seinfield. Well, I didn't really watch Seinfield, I tried to sleep during it, but M wouldn't let me. Ah well. The Packers won and that's what's important.

IT'S ONLY TUESDAY!!!!!! i could die.

So...yeah. That's about all that's new. I called T last night and he was on his cell phone out of town somewhere so he said he would call when he got into town, so I took a shower and got all dressed and pretty. Waited....waited....waited...C finally came over and we waited about a half hour before we said screw it and just went to J's. A little later in the night, during the game, my phone rang...only the frickin surround sound was up so loud I didn't hear it till the last ring. So hopefully tonight I'll be able to get a hold of him. If not...that sucks. Still.

Oh P might be moving into my basement for a short while until she goes to basic. That would be mucho mucho fun. We would annoy the hell out of my parents. Wow...last night she said something about us living together in front of D...For those of you who don't know, D has been wanting to move out of her parents house since she was 15. Back then, when I was a younger, more innocent girl agreed that we should live together. Now that I'm older and more experienced, I'm noticing that she has a definate problem holding down a job for more than 4 months. Plus, she has a child. And I'm no expert, but I think that might cause problems. It's just, if I put my name on that lease and she can't pay her half of the rent, I'm stuck with it and I do not want to be spending that kind of money thank you very much. Wow, I sound so old lady-like. Or not, but I'm just so tired I'm making things up. Wow.

Anyway, D still thinks the only reason I'm not moving in with her is because I'm not ready to move out of my parents. And when P said something about us living together D's head snapped around so fast...she didn't say anything but...I could tell she wasn't happy. So there was a little cover up job about how P might live in my basement before she goes to basic but...I dunno. I feel bad. It's kinda funny tho. A month or so earlier, I said something about P moving out right in front of her roommates and they didn't know yet either. So we both blew the cover for each other. Whoops, we are smooth. Or not.

So C and I were talking last night about how cool it would be if we could get The Notebook published. It's been our pride and joy the last couple of weeks or so. I don't know who would read it tho. P loves it but P isn't normal. The Notebook is a black three subject notebook, covered with various stickers and images that are glued on. The first third is C's to write in, the second third is my area, and the last section is a compilation of a bunch of phrases we have said that are really, really stupid and/or funny as hell, usually both. I get a lot of the quotes from there. We are odd people. You would have to read it to understand...maybe one day I'll be able to put it up online but...until I learn how, you'll just have to hear about how great it is and be totally envious that you can't read it yourself.

Speaking of the notebook, I want to find some new things to put on the cover so...I might type at'cha later.

Monday, October 07, 2002


What kind of punk kid are you?

brought to you by Quizilla

Quote for today -

LBJ took the IRT
Down to 4th Street USA
When he got there
What did he see?
The youth of America on LSD

Well, boring weekend... Friday I went to the Mad town shopping. Thought about giving some residents a call and decided against it. Got home about 10, went to Kitchen. Hung out. Left about 4:15. Went home. Slept.

Woke up at 3 when my mother woke me up and asked if we were still going on a bike ride. Got out of bed and got dressed. We went to the Park and we walked. Climbed some rocks, my mom is so cute. We got home at about 6. Called S. Went to Wal-mart, bought cake mix, grahm crackers and frosting. Got home, baked 2 cakes in four pans (for M's birthday last Monday). J called and said that he couldn't hang out that night cause of a family issue but let's hang out on Sunday. So I called C, she came over, we watched Hardball (sniff, sniff, so sad). Then I went over to QW's with D and we played Euchre with OF. OF and I won! Considering it was only my 3rd time playing...yeah, I was proud. Anyway, got home about a quarter to 2, read, slept.

Woke up at 12:30. Showered, called D, ate, watched TV, received a call from an angry D (I forgot to call back), went over to her house, watched TV, played with the baby, la ti da, J called around 4:15, said lets go to a movie, Red Dragon, I meet you at your house at 6. Ok, so I went home, cleaned up a bit, called C, she came over, we watched I.Q., ate popcorn and grahm crackers and frosting. Yum. J showed up around 6:20. Finshed watching I.Q., watched a bit of Toy Story 2 on TV, decided to watch it without commericals, put the movie in, saw previews for The Emperor's New Groove, decided we wanted to watch that. Went to Wal-mart, I bought that and Follow that Bird (the first Big Bird movie thingy). Went back to my place, watched New Groove. My parents got home so they got to meet J...my dad, as far as I know, doesn't know that we're together. Talked to them for 10 mins, went to Kitchen. Played a round or four of hearts before we started playing Euchre. M and I won the first two games before finally giving C and J a sympathy game. Yeah, that's it. Got home around 12:30, tried to sleep, couldn't. Wrote something down, I don't remember what tho....

So I received a call this morning. T. I guess he's going to jail. I guess that has really made him start thinking...I don't know tho. So many times he's fooled me into thinking he's going to shape up and then...he doesn't. Which I guess is a little reason why I haven't hung out with him at all the last month or so. That and he still owes me and I was mad about that. But that's why he called. He wants to be all gravy and he's even paying intrest. So that will be fun. I love the guy, he's funny as hell, but I really hope jail straightens him out a little. He needs to stop doing that one stupid thing (not that he only does one stupid thing, I'm just talking about one thing in particular). I guess it's kinda like his own twelve step program, without the quitting, and a lot less steps. Still it's kinda sad that it took him going to jail for him to call. I think he feels bad tho. See? I don't know what goes on with that kid. It still confuses me. Anyway, I'm supposed to call him after work tonight. And if I don't call him by 7 or so, he'll call me. I wonder if he really will call if I don't. It doesn't matter, I'm gonna call.

Oh well. Packers vs. Bears tonight. That'll be fun. Packer party at M and J's. C's grilling steaks, mac and cheese as a side and cake (MY CAKE!!!) for dessert. Yummy. Good food, good company...it's all gravy baby.

Wow! You know what I just realized? I was sober all weekend. Wow. Considering I haven't had a sober weekend in a long long time...wow. I'm so proud.

Levi...you are so gay. Jesus and I love you!

Saturday, October 05, 2002

*Holds Head* OOOMMMMGGG.... ASPIRIN.. PLEASE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY!. I think you can guess what I did last night.. heh *puts on Sunglasses*. Regan Byers got married. She's now Regan Gavin. It's so cuuuuute. I sent her a card. and I was out yesterday afternoon and found Kelly the PERFECT, I mean PERFECT gift! So I bought it and will be mailing it very soon as the belated Birthday/Graduation gift. (You get a year on those things, right?) ANYWAY...Last night at the bar was FUN! I was soooo getting macked on by like.. all these guys. I was like "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeah, Bitches. Lick it now.. lick it good" JUST KIDDING. No.. I was gettin looked at heavy, but I did remember my boyfriend... so I made it home at 5:30 after I took my friend Brian to crash at my apartment. He was in a K-hole and didn;t wanna get on the train cuz he felt there was a giant green ladybug that wanted to eat him. So then I walked back to Mine and Guy's apartment (Yes, we live together now), and the doorman decided to FINALLY have a problem with me.. so he made Guy come down and walk me up, but I went down and got added to the list of dwellers now..so it's all good. I dunno is dwellers is a word, but thats what the form said. It's messed up, I tell you. Well... I think I'm gonna watch TV and drink some juice... Ciao

Friday, October 04, 2002

Quote for today -

Wow, they were speaking English but I heard some weird foreign stuff.

Today. Ta-Day. Ta-Day. Ta-Day. The effects of DXM. So tired. Want to sleep. Want to take many o' headache pills. Want to lay down and close eyes. Want to speak in complete sentences. If only....

So today (ta-Day) I worked. I spent almost all this morning composing letters to send to various advertisers telling them to get their ass in gear and give us the stuff we need. It was not fun. So this afternoon, I got to make copies, and stuff, seal and post the envelops. Not fun. Plus this whole color cordinating thing...yeah.

But a good part of the day was shopping while getting paid. Oh yeah baby! Our offices next door neighbor is a whole-sale/food distributer and they had a sale today. I guess it's some tradition that my office goes and shops. It was pretty cool. I picked up a Wisconsin visor (tan with a big red W), a box of Red Vines (only the best licorice ever made) and a zippo. All for $16.50. Considering the zippo itself usually costs that much if not more...I think it's pretty good. There is a spot on the zippo where you can get something engraved and it would look silly if something didn't go there so...I think I'll get my name on it. Pretty.

Ok, I'm over it. I've been listening to the AM radio for the last couple of days. It plays different oldies than normal stations do. It's all like 40's Judy Garland and some light swing stuff. I'm enjoying it, and that which I don't enjoy I'm appreciating. I hope that makes sense.

Sneezing is fun. Ow, unless it hurts. 3 times. Ok, enough fun for now thanx. 4. Ok really now. I'm better.

Well, now I completely lost my train of thought (choo choo). How sad is that? Some group of 10-14 year-old kids killed a guy the other week. I think that is extremely sad. Not like stuff such as this never happened. It's just happening more often now. The world is going to shit.

No more meow.

Thursday, October 03, 2002

Quote for the day -

Riot boss! Riot!

Work sucks!!!

Thanx for calling Levi, it was one of the only good parts of the day. Even lunch sucked. I dunno, I've just been blah all day. And I hate it. I don't know why. Sure I didn't get much sleep last night but I never do. I don't understand. I think I'm going to go home and sleep after work. If I don't then .... dur. I'll die or something I'm sure. As far as plans for the night...C is coming over at 9 and we're going to watch a movie, eat popcorn and ice cream and hang out. I haven't seen her in a long time. Well, Monday night but she went and hung out with S outside while I stayed in with J. It's all good tho. I'll see her tonight.

Hehehehe. People didn't believe me when I said I could be a bitch. I had P's boyfriend (KJ) believing that she didn't want to see him last night. Then she showed up and talked to me for a couple of mins before she said hi to him. It was funny. Don't worry, I wasn't serious and I hope he knew that. It was just payback for being so mean to me on Saturday. Jackass. Non' but luv.

Wednesday, October 02, 2002

Quote for the day -

Come on, if if makes you feel better they would molest you if you gave them the chance.

Tuesday, October 01, 2002

Busy? Lazy? Me? Yeah, both. Work sucks. I spent all day proof reading 6 pages of addresses. Oh so much fun and joy. or not. I still have work to do right now...but I'm not doing it.. Oh I'm such a rebel.

Well, it was a pretty good weekend. On Friday J, P, C, M, KJ and I all went swimming in the lake. The very cold, Wisconsin in September, lake. Brrrrrrr (like a bell?). It was a lot of fun tho. I froze while everyone changed cause we went straight to the lake from (my) work. Went to my place, I showered, got pretty, sat around. Then P and I made everyone watch Veggie Tales. YEAH!! It was funny. I don't think they appreciated it as much as they could have. So as a bit of punishment we made them listen to the Kelly tape. "Hello... Kelly.... how do ya do?" Then we went to M and J's. Watched Van Wilder and drank some while waiting for pizza to be delivered. Got almost all the way thru the movie and my Captain and Coke (big gatorade bottle!) before it got there. So we got it for free!! I only had a piece, and that's all I had eaten all day. But I didn't know if I could eat cause my mouth was pretty numb. Then we put in Orgasmo. It was pretty cool. But I was tired and tispy so I slept for about 10 mins during the movie. "Jesus and I love you!". Then Basketball was put in...I think. I dunno, I was pretty wasted. I drank a lot. Another Captain and Coke that was about 50/50. I do remember trying to make Mac and Cheese with J's help....that was fun times. They started Super Troopers from the beginning three different times before we got up to make it. Then we got stuck on the kitchen floor. I know that there was at least one other person more messed up than me...

Three frickin alarms went off in the morning. First, Jimmy Eat World started blaring out of the radio and woke me up. J kept snoring away. After 5 songs he finally rolled over and turned it off. Then a little while later, I don't know what it sounded like really, but an alarm went off and I thought "If purple dots had a sound, this would be it." He still didn't wake up so I hit him and said "There's a fire" ... "turn off the alarm." So he did. Then my alarm on my phone went off at a quarter to 10. I got up and got dressed in my clothes (for some reason I was wearing his pants) and woke C up. We wandered around the house for a couple of mins looking for keys and sweatshirts and odd stuff...then we left. She took me to my car, I drove home. Started watching videos on MTV waiting for my parents to get home so we could go to the bank. They got home at 11:30, too late to go to the bank. So I passed out on the couch until my sister called and asked to borrow my camera. If I was awake I would have said no, but I was half dead. After that I went into my room and fell asleep as soon as I hit the bed (literally). There was a lot of stuff on my bed too and it sucked when I woke up at 5:30 but...I was dead to the world for those couple of hours. Ok, got up took a shower, went outside and sat around the campfire with my parents. Weee!!!! Roasted hot dogs and talked; it was soooo much fun!!! Then we went in and watched Panic Room.

Fast forward to going to Kitchen with D. She actually just got out of the hospital (again) cause they removed her gallbladder. So we got to Kitchen and she had pain pills to tease people with. Well, she only teased for a little bit. Weeee! We had a little dance party in the parking lot. For an hour. It was fun. Then we went in and I hate to say it but I was flirting like mad. I hate that!! I am a natural flirt, it's fun. J wasn't there, so I go all fuckin crazy! I hate that!! Whenever I'm all happy in a relationship, this is usually how I fuck it up. I blame myself for all my relationships that go wrong. Anyway, it was fun tho. Went home, went to sleep.

Woke up the next day, went to J and M's with D and GS. J wasn't there. Watched the Packers kickass!!!!! Starved cause C wasn't there to cook. P showed up after the game. So finally at 7 or so I decided to cook. I made waffles and eggs. P made bacon. It was awesome. Seriously the best I've had in awhile. I'm so good. My sister called, I was supposed to go hang out with her...oops. So we drove back to town and I dropped D off. Sped home, took a shower, got ready, she picked me up, went to Wal-Mart, shopped, went-home, she left, goodnight.

Last night, C and P came over. We listened to music, watched Veggie Tales, and talked. Went to Kitchen a little later. J was there then! But for the first part of the night it was kinda weird. He was a little quiet and distant. I dunno if it was on purpose or not but... I was nervous. But then all the sudden it was ok. Once when everyone left the table, he turns and looks at me and says "I love you Kelly, I love you and I want to buy you a zebra." That may require some explaining. See, a couple of weeks ago, we had a conversation about how little girls usually want ponies. Well, I never wanted a pony, I wanted a zebra. And he remembered and was going to get me one. A stuffed one but still...how sweet. So there!!! I win I win. Who needs to hear I love you three times when you have a zebra? But I was happy the rest of the night. P stayed over and we stayed up talking until 2:30. We could not stop laughing.

Oh yeah, Levi? P says "shut the fuck up".... She really hates the whole oswook thing if ya didn't know. And you need to call me...please? I'll love you forever and ever. I will get pics for you sometime. Really.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?