Wednesday, January 29, 2003
Ok. Ok. I just need to acknowledge that everything is ok. Ok? ok.
So. Where were we? Nowhere? Alrighty then. Let's make something up. I used to think complications made things interesting, but no...they just make things suck. Now that E and I are actually together. By label (which I HATE by the way) things are complex. Not that they weren't before, I just didn't have to deal with them as much. Now I do. Damn. It was so much easier for me before. We fought again last night. It's getting to be this tradition or something. We can't talk unless we say something about him sleeping with H and me kissing JQ. Which I think has nothing to do with it. I kissed JQ before E came back from the hospital and I ever knew that he was interested. I did nothing with anyone else once I knew we might have something. He fucked his exgirlfriend after we were talking about a relationship together. And he was lecturing me on the morals of kissing JQ while he was married. Ok, I was drunk and he kissed me.
Ok I don't need to go over this again. But I'm just really upset because people warned me to watch out and be careful and I defended him and us. Then I get hurt. Not fair. So what do I do? Jump right back in.
Oh I had a dream where I was at this waterpark I used to work at and I was swimming with a friend. I was in my normal swimsuit and I saw some old co-workers walk by who don't work there anymore either. So I jumped up and ran after them. I came up behind them and put my arms around both of them. Then I gave the really hot guy a hug. I remember feeling kinda strange cause I didn't know if we were good enough friends to hug, but I did it anyway. And then another guy who used to work there and was friends with the guy I was hugging walked by and slapped my ass really hard. The other girl I knew just kinda kept walking. Ok then. I was just happy to be dreaming about the really hot guy. I haven't seen him in forever and I really want to go party with him sometime.
When I get married, I want to elope. It's been decided. For me anyway. I hope whoever he is, he doesn't mind.
So. Where were we? Nowhere? Alrighty then. Let's make something up. I used to think complications made things interesting, but no...they just make things suck. Now that E and I are actually together. By label (which I HATE by the way) things are complex. Not that they weren't before, I just didn't have to deal with them as much. Now I do. Damn. It was so much easier for me before. We fought again last night. It's getting to be this tradition or something. We can't talk unless we say something about him sleeping with H and me kissing JQ. Which I think has nothing to do with it. I kissed JQ before E came back from the hospital and I ever knew that he was interested. I did nothing with anyone else once I knew we might have something. He fucked his exgirlfriend after we were talking about a relationship together. And he was lecturing me on the morals of kissing JQ while he was married. Ok, I was drunk and he kissed me.
Ok I don't need to go over this again. But I'm just really upset because people warned me to watch out and be careful and I defended him and us. Then I get hurt. Not fair. So what do I do? Jump right back in.
Oh I had a dream where I was at this waterpark I used to work at and I was swimming with a friend. I was in my normal swimsuit and I saw some old co-workers walk by who don't work there anymore either. So I jumped up and ran after them. I came up behind them and put my arms around both of them. Then I gave the really hot guy a hug. I remember feeling kinda strange cause I didn't know if we were good enough friends to hug, but I did it anyway. And then another guy who used to work there and was friends with the guy I was hugging walked by and slapped my ass really hard. The other girl I knew just kinda kept walking. Ok then. I was just happy to be dreaming about the really hot guy. I haven't seen him in forever and I really want to go party with him sometime.
When I get married, I want to elope. It's been decided. For me anyway. I hope whoever he is, he doesn't mind.
