Wednesday, January 08, 2003

So tired. Can't think straight.

I'm goin on a date tonight, I'm goin on a date tonight. Woot! E called around 11 and first invited me to Flordia and then to dinner. Priorities. I said maybe to FL and yes to dinner. In the middle of talking, he just blurted out "Kelly... I love you" We've had a disscusion before about how it's as a person and not being "in love" but I still shut up right away and felt a run away and hide instinct. But he just smoothed it over and carried on with the conversation. I do like this guy, but I have the whole 'outta sight outta mind' thing goin on. And that out of anything should be a sign that I don't like him as much as I should. Then again, after he got into his accident and I didn't know, I really missed him. And I miss him now...I just don't know. I'm all confused about it. But I get to see him tonight and I can say it all. That's what is great about E, you can tell him anything and he'll understand.

While I was on the phone with him (for 25 mins while at work, I'm such a bad person) D called too. I felt like Miss Everyone-loves-me. She called back while I was on lunch so I didn't get to talk to her. Sad. But hopefully she'll call again. Oh well.

[I just wrote a bunch of stuff while I was spacing out and it was terrible. Just blathering on about nothing as a natural reaction to wanting to entertain people while playing space cadet and going on a memory trip.]

I am a flirt. Not your normal flirt. I am the innocent looking girl who slides up next to you and looks at you in a certain way and you can't decide if I'm flirting or if I'm just naive. It's a lot of fun sometimes. Because, as many people have pointed out to me, I look innocent. Something about me just screams it. [I guess I've never described myself have I? Well, I don't think I'm the one to do it. I'll get a guest speaker someday.] All thru middle school, high school and after, people couldn't quite believe it when I ran into them a party. There would be a lot of "I didn't know you did that!" and "Oh my gosh, what are you doing here?" I don't understand what it is, but I've accepted it and moved on. I'm not quite sure what my point what except looks can be deceiving. Damn, that's been done...and so has every other thing like it. So fuck it, no moral today kids.

(that's right, I said fuck)

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