Monday, February 10, 2003
I'm growing up. Every now and then people need an outlet. Somewhere to go and just have something for them. For the last couple of months, this was it for me. I stopped writing in my journal and instead changed this from what it was supposed to be to my own life on screen. But I don't know if I need it any longer. More and more often I find myself staring at a blank screen with a blinking cursor waiting to be move and filled with words. More and more the words are meaning less. I can't force myself to tell everything and it's gotten harder to do. What if someone I know finds this? What if I want someone I know to find this?
And in some ways I do want that. There are a couple of people I wish I could say "Read this! It will tell you a lot of things that I don't say! Understand me!" I might still. But that wouldn't be fair to Cody. There are some very private things both of us has shared in here. Stuff that no one else may know. I know I have. So what to do?
I might be totally wrong and still come in here to write. But honestly, how many people are actually reading this? And how many actually want to know how my day went?
So maybe it's time to shut up.
And in some ways I do want that. There are a couple of people I wish I could say "Read this! It will tell you a lot of things that I don't say! Understand me!" I might still. But that wouldn't be fair to Cody. There are some very private things both of us has shared in here. Stuff that no one else may know. I know I have. So what to do?
I might be totally wrong and still come in here to write. But honestly, how many people are actually reading this? And how many actually want to know how my day went?
So maybe it's time to shut up.