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Monday, March 31, 2003

Saturday - I woke up at 2 and stayed in bed until 2:45. I was just so depressed and unmotivated. There really was no point of getting up. Finally I got up, took a shower and then watched tv. Exciting times no? I chatted a bit online and this totally nasty guy I don't like starting chatting with me. And because I'm not a bitch, I chatted back. I even gave him my frickin number...then he asked what I went by. I said "What do you mean?" "What do people call you?" "uhh, by my name...do you remember my name?" ......... "kelly" ...... "sorry it's been awhile" Whatever, I should have just told him to cluck right off.

Ok, I drove on down to Levi's. We hung out. I was supposed to go to this party with Clay over at Jake's...but I didn't really want to go and neither did Clay. So I sent a text to Jake and said there was a problem with a friend and I couldn't go. So then around midnight, Levi and I were going to go to the store for some soda and a cop slowly cruises by. As soon as the cop was outta sight, Levi ran back inside. The cop turned around and parked up the hill. I sat in the car for a bit and then just went to the store, which of course, was closed. So I went drove back. On the way I got a phone call from someone I had only talked to a couple of times and he was wasted! It was funny. I drove past the cop on the hill. But I almost hit another cop and decided that I should just go back to Levi's. I went inside and hung out for a bit. His roomate who owns the house thought that in order for it to look like Levi isn't there, everyone should be gone so I got kicked out. I was supposed to go down to Rockford the next day so I called Clay again and then Jacob...no answers so I called my sister and drove on down to JanesVegas. Got high and watched South Park. Most enjoyable. Except the whole, Christopher Reeves sucking stem cells out of dead fetuses. That was pretty nasty. I couldn't fall asleep right away cause I was thinking about how much it would hurt to have a kid. I'm strange I know. And then I had a dream about the gremlin things from the movie the Gate and hot dog men. I am strange.

Ok, Sunday I woke up at 8 when my parents called. Said I wasn't going to go to church, rolled over and went back to sleep. Ryan called at 9 and woke me up. Invited me to go to church with his family. I got up, called my parents and said I would go to church with them. I don't normally go to church, but it's my grandma's birthday today so we went to church as a family yesterday. The minister started talking about how some girl rubbed her boobs up on him to get more playing time in soccer. Yeah, not something I expected to hear about on a Sunday morning. After church my family had lunch at my aunt's.

Ryan called and I drove on down to his house in Illinois. It's nice. I got to meet his mother and grandmother. His grandma is way cool. We went and saw the Core in Rockford. I kinda wanted to see it, but kinda didn't cause it looked cheesy. It was decent. Everything had a perfect solution and everyone is incredibly intelligent. And everyone dies of course (well not everyone). There was no emotion attachment tho. Nice action scenes.

After the movie, I went back to JanesVegas and went shopping with my mom. I got the cutest hat and a shirt that looks awesome with it. I'm going to wear it on Tuesday to the club. Horray! Then my parents and I hung out at my sister's place of work while she closed up. I decided that I was too tired to go out to eat with them, so I said goodbye and just started to drive back home. I took a shower and then made the best meal I've ever made. Minute rice with a touch of soy sauce and cut up egg rolls. Yummy. Then I fell asleep while watching Shanghi noon.

Now I am having a great hair day. Well, I like it. And I quit smoking cigarettes. I haven't since last Tuesday and going to the club is going to be where I will have problems. I am such a social smoker. Wow. What else is new....Ow. I'm still sick, but it's going away I hope. I think I'm getting an ear infection. Cause my ears are all clicky and pop all the time. And they hurt!

Ok I have been listening to the Rent soundtrack all weekend. Seriously, at least once a day. I've already listened to it today and I'm prolly going again in a bit. I haven't even seen it! I want to soooooo bad. I think it's this weekend. SHITTY! I dunno. But if it is, I need tickets and directions baby! Did they ever make a movie or is it on video at all anywhere? Cause if I don't get to go see it, I need to see it somehow or I will self de-construct.

Saturday, March 29, 2003

Hi all. It's Saturday...it feels like it's the third Monday in a row. I'm kinda tired and lazy and feeling sick. Multi tasking isn't working today.

Yesterday, Friday, I went home from work at 10. That's right, I worked for 2 hours. I went home, hung out, went shopping for Clay's B-day gift. Got him some really cute necklaces. Came back home, hung out...C and I finally left around 5. Got to Clay's, Levi and Teege were already there and the place looked great. So we hung out, I helped Clay do dishes and we listened to Cabaret. Ryan came and picked me up and we went to the mall..... I'm gonna do this later cause I'm tired and sick and leaving.

It's really Monday, but pretend....

So Ryan and I went to the Mall. Woo hoo. We actually before we got to the mall we got lost. Well, not really lost...we just started on the east side and ended up on the west side. We walked around, checked out some hotties. Got some food. Got bored. Went to Walmart for a little light shopping. He got whatever and then he took me back to Clay's. He didn't even go in because "He wasn't invited" well...no one was really invited. They were just supposed to hear about it and come. So he went to the tps dance. Clay and I started the party off. It was kinda funny and sad at the same time. We didn't know how to .... work the keg. Well, we got the idea thanks, but it was all foam. Soooo, we did whatever and somehow it worked. Thanks to Joey and Matt for the help and C for laughing at us. So I had a beer or two or three and a jello shot and some hypnotica or something blue. Then I went to the tps dance. Wow. That was interesting. It had such bad music. But I saw people I knew and I slapped Eric's butt. Nice! It's such a shame he's gay. Anyway, I saw someone I knew from childhood. Like, my parents and his parents are still really good friends. And I learned he's bi. Wow. Are there any straight people I know? Honestly...sometimes. But anyway. Ryan was smashed. We got his car keys from him and he ended up leaving with this guy and his female friends. Nothing really happened there tho, I don't think. C and I followed the guys back to Clay's and it was still pretty dead. Kinda boring. I was ready to fall asleep. I was bored. But I made some new friends anyway. I gave Jason a sucker to remember me from and he gave me a candy wrapper. So around 3 C and I left. I fell asleep on the way home. Come on, I'm still sick and I had been up since fuckin 7. So I needed to crash. When I got home, I jumped right into bed and slept until 2 Saturday afternoon.

Thursday, March 27, 2003

I'm still sick. All morning I've been sneezing and coughing and blowing my nose. Really sick stuff. I slept over lunch. I had to work during lunch...I just fell asleep next to the phone. It didn't even ring! So I got an extra half hour of sleep. And if one more person tells me I look/sound like shit I'm gonna freak out. I know I look like crap, I know I sound like crap...I'm sick, what do you expect? My self esteem goes right thru the floor when people say crap like that. Or it would if I was healthy enough to care. Tomorrow the receptionist isn't going to be here, the back up receptionist isn't going to be here...so normally that would me I would be answering the phones and doing whatever, but they talked about it and decided that I was too out of it to do it. Oh the elusive "they". Always in charge. When am I going to get out of the power of "they" "them" and "the man". Don't let the Man bring you down. man.

wow, I am out of it.

"You're like the Martha Stewart of gay pimps!" -- Now is that a good thing or a bad thing?

I dunno but after Soccer Practice we could hang some new window treatments.

I. am. sick.
So very very sick. All I can do is sit here and moan. Well, not really cause I'm at work and if I did that...they would so kick my ass. No, I'm here working hard. And it sucks. I woke up this morning and have been coughing, sneezing and blowing my nose ever since. Oh goodness, it's no fun.

I knew I was moving in with P for a reason. She has sooo many soundtracks to musicals. I listened to Cabaret, Rocky Horror Picture Show and Prince of Egypt just last night. She had a whole cd case dedicated to just her musical soundtracks. It's way cool.

Happy news about Shawn. He got laid. And even more important, he has a boyfriend. Good for you Shawn. He called me yesterday and work and had to tell me all about it. Then he called this morning and told me about last night. So I've had about enough of hearing about everyone else getting laid and poor little Kelly here is all alone. At work. Sick. damn.

Moving on. Hmm, I'm sure I had something to say. Oh yeah, Damn you W! Find me some fuckin peppermint. All my hook ups are in jail, you're my last resort, find me some peppermint! Now. Cause I'm going to some parties this weekend and yeah...

Two parties to go to. Clay's b-day party tomorrow night. That should be fun I hope. Then Saturday my friend Jake is having a party and I'm taking Clay. I don't really want to go to that one, cause Jake makes me a bit nervous, but .... Clay wants to go. So we will.

Ryan called! Yesterday while I was at work. He was supposed to call at 5 when I was done, but he called to say he wouldn't be able to call at 5. What a sweetie! So I'm gonna give him a call when I get done with work and see if he wants to meet me in Madison on Saturday and hang out. It's a crying shame he's not straight...he did sleep with a girl the other week tho...so...hmmm.

Wednesday, March 26, 2003

Oh my gosh. I just had the best meal of my entire life. We went to this new place in town that isn't even open to the public yet. Seriously, wow. The place just looks amazing and the wait staff is just the best. There are sooo many good looking guys there. So I had the best meal. Appetizer - Mushroom ravioli something. I loved it. I ate it all. Pig, I know. But eating it made me even more hungry. Salad - House salad. Some of the most amazing flavors out of simple veggies. I didn't eat a lot of it cause my entree got there. Entree - Mediterranean Chicken. Wow. A fricken half a chicken with olives, broccoli and some other stuff. Just wonderful. I only ate about half and got the rest in a box. Desert - I don't even know. I had never heard of it but it was wonderfully sweet. And then coffee. Wow, I am sooo full, I can barely drink my oj for my sore throat. After we ate we got a tour thru the kitchen. Even more hot guys. I was lovin it. It really was the best and I got an extra hour for lunch. It would have been better if some different people went, but I had an ok time with my coworkers I went with. I already told my parents that I would take them out to dinner there sometime. It's expensive but wow. I haven't taken my folks out in a long time. Next week or something maybe. I will definately get the mushrooms again.

I know this is terribly exciting to read about my lunch, in great detail no less, but damn it! It was good. You're just jealous.

The rest of yesterday sucked. Well, until about 6. Work was awful. I worked my ass off, lost my voice and then had to stay late. Turdy is gone so a couple of things I need to know...I can't find out about. This sucks. Moving on. Shawn called me right before 5 so I talked to him as I walked out of the office. That was fun, my boss tried to grab my phone, but I didn't let him and just kept walking. My phone was getting no reception so I told him I'd call him when I got home. Drove home singing and alternated between being super excited and happy to all the sudden wanting to burst into tears. It was so strange. Then I got into a fight with my parents when I got home because my father was a little rude to my friends the other night. I hid in my room. Eventually P joined me. I called Shawn back and told him to come over. P and I talked and she cheered me up. What are friends for? She went downstairs and when she came up she said she had a gift for me. Behind her back was the cutest shirt I've ever seen! It's black with long sleeves and a cut collar. On it is a Lucky Brand logo thing in shiny silver. It's absolutely adorable. We ate dinner and she took a shower. We hopped into our club clothes and we were both a little punk last night. I had pinstripe pants with zippers that lead to nowhere and she had plaid pants. We were hot. Shawn got there and loved the outfits. He then proceeded to torture me. He plucked my eyebrows! I have naturally very nice eyebrows. But he claimed that although they were beautiful, they could always be better. I let him. And they do look really good, but they were just fine before too. Oh well. KJ got there and we went to McDonalds. KJ and P got pulled over. hehehe. I called C to make sure she wasn't going to go and she changed her mind and met us at Micky D's. I drove with Shawn and we had a blast, singing and dancing (as much as you can in a car, which is more than you think). I called Levi and had him convinced that I wasn't going to go cause no one would miss me. He finally "talked me into it" while we were driving there. C and P tried to play interstate tag with us, but we weren't feelin it. They were supposed to be following us cause C didn't know the way to the club. So when they were in front of us, we pulled off onto an exit, turned around and got back on again. They didn't know what we were doing so C stops right on the fuckin interstate and is thinkin about turning around to follow us. But there was a cop so she didn't. Shawn and I are laughing the whole time and we don't even know what they're doing. We drive and catch up and P's reaction was priceless, she grabbed at the window and had this look on her face. It was great.

We get to the club and not a lot of people are there. We kinda hang out. Do whatever. Ryan gets there, he turns and sees me and inhales his gum and chokes. He managed to be ok tho. I think that's the best reaction I've ever gotten. But the club gets busier and I'm busy as well. I'm so popular there!

Highlights:
Tyler decided that I could be his fag hag. I dislike that term. I'd much rather be a fruit fly. But oh well, C and I actually just met him last week and he's already decided that we're cool.

I had Mike, Ryan, Tyler, Justin, Aaron and Clay all grinding with me at one time. I was literally surrounded by hot men. I loved it. They laughed at me when I screamed out why couldn't they be straight.

I'm now getting married to Ryan. He and Levi are going to have their sperm combined and fertilize one of my eggs. They barely talk and they're going to father a child of mine together? What? I think not, talk about disfunctional family.

Ryan, James and Mike shoving handfuls of condoms down my shirt and having them fly out while dancing. I was a human condom dispenser. Just be careful where you grab.

Joey tackeling me as I left. He push P out of the way, grabbed and jumped up on me. I was knocked over so we both went flying and rolled off the sidewalk onto the street in front of cars.

I got a lot...a LOT of "Oh my gosh you're so hot/pretty/cute, if I wasn't gay I would so date you/have sex with you." I had the best time tho seriously. I didn't get to hang out with Shawn a lot. I didn't get to hang out with P a lot. I didn't get to hang out with C a lot. I didn't get to hang out with Levi a lot. I spent most of the night with Ryan, cause we're going to get married.

We got home at 10 to 3. P went straight to my bed and passed out. Oh by the way, she's 21 and was drinking with James last night. She was wasted. So after my shower I had to try and push her over cause she was taking up my entire bed! I think I finally got to sleep about 3:30. Waking up this morning sucks. My throat hurts soo bad (no jokes please). I've been drinking water all morning and it just sucks. I would be all sick and go home...but I used all of my vacation time. So...yeah. I have to be sick and here. It's all good tho, I did it to myself.

I can't believe it's only Wednesday. I'm so ready for the weekend. I've got a party to go to on Friday and then another one on Saturday. I'm not really looking forward to the one on Saturday. But oh well. At least I'll have Clay with me. Awww, Clay gave me a kiss last night. I'm so glad people like me there. I dunno, yesterday was just kind of a "Why do people even hang out with me? I bore myself, how am I supposed to entertain everyone else too?" Really I was so depressed. Then I went to the club and I got all sorts of love. People actually fight over me.

I am listening to the most beautiful voice I've heard in a long time. Evanescence. Seriously. She has a .... I can't even describe it. Thanks to KJ for leaving it at my house and prolly not getting it back for a long time. Everyone should check them out. This means YOU!

So I've got lunch at that restaurant I didn't get to go to on Monday. I wonder if I can take an extra hour for lunch too. Doubt it, but it's still cool to go for a NICE lunch.

Tuesday, March 25, 2003

Ok, it's only 8:54 and it's already the morning from hell. Well, not really, but it hasn't been that grand. P and Shawn were waiting for me out in the parking lot last night after I got done with work. We went to my house and hung out...like always. Played some games, made some pizza. C came over. The fag hag and guy I know from last night came over. We just kinda hung out all night. Listened to music, played games and talked. KJ came over a little later. I was a little annoyed. Cause I didn't even invite Shawn over. I love him to death and he is perfectly welcome at my house anytime, but all the sudden I have people I hardly know over. There was 5 people out in my living room last night watching a movie when I went to bed at 11. See, my friends don't seem to realize that I need sleep to function. I got 3 hours Sunday night and 8 last night and my ass is draggin. Then tonight we're going to the club so that's 5 hour of sleep tops. I can't even sleep on my lunch cause I have to fuckin work. How sick is that?

Ok, I'll stop complaining...really I will. Cause I had fun last night. I think. Things have been so boring, but fun. Does that make sense? Like, we haven't been doing anything. Or at least I haven't. Right now there is no meaning. But I'm still having fun. I just wish I didn't have to be at work. Can I be rich please? Or if not rich...can someone support my sorry ass so I don't have to work? Please?

Really tho, there is a meaningless drift to my life right now. What's going on? I'm doubting myself more and more. When all those people were over last night I actually wondered if they were enjoying my company. I didn't know if they were really there to see me. I wondered why people hang out with anyone. I mean, what's the point? I just feel alone even when surrounded by people. It's kinda like no one is listening cause I have nothing to say.

Monday, March 24, 2003

Ok, now I gots me some tunes! Horray! I love you Shawn. And P. Y'all rock! Craig Davis...I know, I used to hate him...but this song just makes my heart happy. I got to run the place! I was like the only one here...so I was answering phones, workin the front desk and doing my work all at once. It was fun...but only fun because no one else was here. Except P and Shawn.

Happy Monday!

OH NO! I just said Happy Monday and I only got 3 hours of sleep? What in the world am I thinking? It must be the music. The best frickin mix cd out there. Well, maybe not the best, but the best r&b/pop/rap/dance cd. It's a special Shawn and Kelly Mix. I know, original name right? Let's see, there's Eve, Lil' Kim, DMX, Christina, Craig, Missy Elliot, Destiny's Child, Anastasia...and more. It's good. And I just downloaded kazza or whatever that is. I don't really know how to use it yet...I know I'm blonde. Leave me alone!

well, not really.

Ok. back to work. back to work. to prove to my boss that I'm not a jerk.

My spring break KICKED ASS and I didn't even leave the state! How the hell is that possible? DUDE! Only in Wisconsin.

Oh my gosh...I have this song in my head and it won't go away...not that I want it to, cause it's kind of a cool song. Deedlie dee dee de. Two ladies. From Cabaret. Last night P, Shawn and I were my bed and we all burst into song. It was great.

So this weekend...hmmm. What to say? I don't remember. Ummm, C and Shawn prolly came over on Friday. I'm not too sure. I think so. Yeah, and we drank and played video games almost all night. Then passed out all in my bed. C left early to go home...Shawn and I slept in until 10, made french toast that was hardly edible and then hung out. We played games again and then walked around town. Hung out did whatever, C came over for a bit, then left cause she had to work early...we went to Kitchen in town before he left for work. The plan was on Sunday for him to come back over right when he got done with work, but instead of working Midnight until 8 like he was supposed to, he worked until 10. Sucks for him. So he went home and slept, and I hung out at home and finally got to see The Godfather. I was super excited. But I couldn't get into, it was such a nice day and I was really sad I was hanging out inside alone. So I went out on my front steps and read my book. Screw everyone I can be happy alone. So my parents, P and Shawn all got to my house within 5 mins of each other. That was fun. Shawn, P and I looked at pictures and went to Perkins. I saw a bunch of people I haven't seen in .... a really long time. Mostly Kitchen folk. There was a reason I haven't gone to Kitchen and .... oh well, I'm not going into it, but one of the guys told me that I was talked about. Gossip, gossip, gossip. Plus he asked me to call J. What? And I quote "He's been looking really down lately...I know whenever you talk to him it brings a smile to his face so I'm just asking what any friend would." Ok guilt me into it. So I'll prolly call later today. This guy Shawn likes, his ex, a guy I know and some random fag hag showed up at Perkins while we were there. It kinda got Shawn depressed for a bit, cause he found out this guy doesn't like him "like that" but he found another guy who does so he was happy when we left. We went back to my house, C came over. We listened to music and sang out little hearts out. That was nice. To Rent, Moulin Rouge and Miss Saigon. C left cause she had school this morning. Shawn, P and I played more games. Listened to music. I tried to go to bed at 12. Then again at 1. I finally just fell asleep with my head in Shawn's lap. We all climbed into my bed around 2:30. They were talking for an hour or so. They went to the same high school but didn't really know each other. So they were blabbing on. Shawn finally fell asleep and started snoring. P fell asleep. So I'm sitting there and I can't fall asleep. Finally at 3:45 I go out into the living room and sleep. That was so nice! I had a ton of pillows around me. And no one was snoring. Nice.

I just got off the phone with P and Shawn. They're still sleeping in my bed. Those rat bastards. I'm so jealous.

Tonight...who knows? Certainly not I.

Friday, March 21, 2003

They say it's history in the making...well isn't everything? But I know all that's going to be left in 150 years will be dates. Everyone alive now will be dead or too old to remember. 9/11/01 - WTC Attacted. 3/03 - US at war with Iraq. X number of people died. And no more. The way we don't know about the Civil War or WWI. They won't know how awful life is for the people across the sea and the people at home waiting for them to come back...if they come back. I'm betting there will be movies eventually about noble soldiers in the field, risking it all for the Red, White and Blue. But we're stuck in the middle of it. Never will we be distant enough from this situation to watch a movie like that and not remember our own experiences.

I know people are sick of hearing about the war. It's only just begun and I'm all ready for it to be over. I didn't want it in the first place. I'll be the first to admit that I have no idea what is going on. So at the same time while this horrible thing is happening over there...I'm still here, living my life and working my job. It doesn't have that much of an affect on me at this very moment. I have friends already over there, but not anyone super close. So as long as I don't think about it too much, I have no problem ignoring it.

But do I want to? Hell yes. Like most people, I put on the blinders and just concentrate on me. I can't fix myself, how in the world could I fix this issue? I can't. So instead I write emails to soldiers that say I love you and I wish I could take you out for coffee.

Sorry if this isn't makin sense to you. I just had to get something out. And lord knows who I would talk to about it.

Ok, I'm so totally not telling anyone what just happened. That was embarrassing and there were no wittnesses so I'm ok. Wow.

So last night I called Levi on the drive home. I don't remember why...oh yeah, I had to get someone's number. Well, I did (and then never called him, whoops) and I called Shawn on my cell phone, he called back to say he would call back in a couple of mins. Ok so I talked with Levi. Woot! Shawn called and said he was coming over. I got off the phone. My uncle called and said that he had received a phone call from the United States Government. He was gone, so he doesn't exactly know what it's about (or at least he didn't tell me). Manohman. That's depressing. Anyway, Shawn and I went to rent a movie or something and ended up getting The Ring and some X-box game. The Hunted or something. We went home and played it right away. It was sooo much fun. I ordered pizza and we just chilled playing video games and eating pizza. It was a ton of fun. Cody came over and brought the pictures but Shawn and I were too involved in the game to look at them right away. I talk a lot of shit while playing games tho...Cody was writing down random phrases. I'll have to post that later. Or she can. But then we put the Ring in and watched that...I had seen it before but neither of them had. So that was fun. It would have been better if my parents didn't come home right in the middle of it. But oh well. So we finally looked at the pictures and they're adorable! There are soo many cute ones! I put the ones I love in my big photo albumn and then some of the others in a little one I just got and brought it to work. Now I have to look at it, hold on. Ok, it is seriously cute.

I want to get high! But...can't. Everyone in this area I know is in jail. How depressing. Oh well, I have some people I could go to...I just don't really trust them, ya know? The last time I got high was...hmmm. Let me look in the archives. February 22, 2003. Levi and I posted something funny. Our conversation which prolly doesn't make a whole lotta sense if you weren't there. But it's funny anyway.

Thursday, March 20, 2003

So who wants to show me how to do this? #1. Put comments on my page. I've wanted them for a while....just cause...and I dunno what the heck I'm doin. #2. Hook my camera up to the tv. Really I'm not as clueless as I sound. Normally I can figure anything out...but not this. Hmm. I am clueless.

Anyway. I'm still working. It still sucks. I'll stop talking about it now.

I got my taxes back. My parents paid me back the money they owed me. And I just got paid. Someone has money! That would be me.

I need to look for apartments. P and I were talking and she and I both want to move to Madison. But because of this job...we're not going to go until at least next year. I just haven't gotten enough money or experience out of it. I haven't gotten a raise and I've had the responsibilities just piled on me. I know it's something I would enjoy...if I didn't have to deal with people. Cause I am creative and I like doing this...but I don't like having to deal with all the bullshit I put up with here. Next year tho. Next year I am moving to Madison! Or London. My boss and I were looking up apartments in London the other day. Then we went for a drive. That was fun.

So about the war. I think we're fighting for the wrong reasons. But since we are fighting. Go USA. end.

How can it be that I slept for 12 hours and I'm still tired? Cause really.

Tuesday was a blast...mostly. After work I called Shawn to see what was going on...but he didn't answer. Jacob called to see what was going on, but I didn't know. Shawn called me back and we talked for a while...ok an hour and a half. Cody came over, we met Shawn at a McDonalds near his house (about a half hour drive). We followed him to Madison and dropped my car off at the club. Then we went to pick up Jacob. Then off to the mall. Hung out, checked out the scenery. The mall closed so we went to the club again at 9ish. Stayed outside playing hack for a bit, Shawn got cold so we went in. It was totally dead. I mean, we usually don't show up until 10:30 and there still aren't a lot of people there. So at 9:45....barren. But we still had a little fun. Shawn was entertaining as ever. Jacob went and found people. Ryan came over. Oh Ryan was so much fun! He showed up alone, so he came over and hung out with the cool kids in the corner (that would be us if you had any doubt). I had my video camera for this part and got some interesting footage...at least I think so I haven't been able to watch it yet cause I promised Cody and Shawn I would wait for them. Levi showed up and I asked him to take my camera to my car for me so I wouldn't have to deal with it. Erick showed up (the guy Shawn really wanted to get with) so he went away somewhere. Cody, Ryan, Levi, Jacob and I hung out in the front for a bit. Fun fun. Levi (I GOT TO SEE LEVI!!!) and I went to get a soda at the back and there was Shawn sitting alone so I asked him if he was trying to look cool for when Erick saw him...he laughed and told me "shut up...yeah." Right then Erick did show up, so walked away. Smooth as ever. Normal club stuff. Dancing, talking, feeling random guys' butts....wait that's not normal. Some of my friends...older guys decided that I was the ultimate butt judge. So they had me checking out some guy's butts and then doing the shelf test on some of them...it was a little embarrassing, but I didn't grab anyone if they didn't want me to. hehehe. I introduced a friend from town (the one from last week who everyone suspected was gay, but didn't really come out) and Ryan and Ryan just complimented him so many times! I mean, he really is hot, really really hot. But it was really cute watch him blush. And Ryan got a couple of kisses out of it, which he thanked me for. I know I rock. That's about all that really happened. Shawn was hanging out with this Beth girl all night cause she was Erick's best friend so he kinda wasn't by us. At the end of the night when they play their one slow song Ryan came and danced with me. That was nice cause he DOESN'T dance. I got him to dance twice and the slow song...I didn't even ask him, he asked me. But I look over and there is Shawn looking really sad and dancing with Beth. What? He's supposed to be with Erick. So I look over at Erick and he's dancing with this Chris guy. What? So afterwards, Shawn is pissed. We drive over to Clay's for the afterbar. There were a lot of people at first, but it thinned out a bit. It was ok. I had my camera again and so there is some interesting stuff. I got so mad at Shawn! I was laying with Ryan on the recliner and Shawn said we were going to go, so I got up and he fuckin took my spot next to Ryan. I was ticked. But I couldn't be that mad, cause Shawn had his heart broke that night already. So I didn't let him know ...... I gotta go work (8:45)

Ok, I'm on lunch break now. So...Shawn stole my cuddlebuddy. Whatever bitch. He really did piss me off yesterday. Moving on. I noticed my camera had disapeared for a bit and then realized it went into the other room where there was a lot of "action" going on. Hmmm. Joey came back out with it tho so I wasn't too worried. I haven't watched the tape yet so I dunno what I'm gonna see. PORN! Shawn finally decided that it was time to leave. So we drove back to his house. I was following him in his car and fuckin almost died. See he neglected to tell me about the 15mph turns that have tiny signs for them. So I had to fuckin slam on my breaks and we almost went into the ditch. And there were six of them! SIX! Oh well. So we got there and passed around a bottle of 92 proof rum. Played some video games. In bed I kept saying I hated Shawn and Cody cause they fell asleep right away and I was sitting there fuckin hot and drunk. Passed out at 7 or something. The alarm went off at 9 or something and Shawn turned it off and we fell back asleep. I woke up again at 9:45, realized I needed my car in Madison at 10:30 and jumped up. We drove to Madison and went to the wrong place. Drove across the street and was there for an hour and a half. They finished up with my car after an hour and a half. I remembered that the carpet was messed up so I said something and they had me running all over looking for people that I never found. I called into work and said I wouldn't be able to make it back by 1. Finally the place told me they would order new carpet and have it replaced. For free! God bless warrenties. So then I took Shawn and Cody to breakfast at IHOPs. We all ate like pigs, them more than me. Off to the mall. Did a couple of laps, checked out some scenery. Off to Shawn's, dropped him off. Made plans for the last night. Drove home. Took a shower. Climbed into bed after attempting to write on here. I slept from 6:30 or so until 7:30 this morning. I know I talked on the phone with a couple of people. I'm pretty sure Jacob called and I know Cody called. I just don't remember what they said. Now here I am at work. Sucky. I've already gotten in trouble today...Turdy saw me writing on here and we're super busy. My bad. I was just trying to finish it up. Oh well. I almost hope I get fired (which would never happen) so I could move to Madison. Fuck this town.

This must be the lunch hour to call. Cause Jake, Shawn and Jon all called. I feel special. Shawn called to appologize for not calling (I didn't know I was asleep). Jake called for a ride cause his car broke down and Jon called cause I haven't talked to him in months.

It's hard to believe it's Thursday. (I just wrote Tues...We....Thur...I couldn't get it right!) Thursday. As in PICTURES are back!!! Hurray! From this incredibly fun weekend I just had. Shawn might come and hang out tonight or tomorrow. Who knows?

Tuesday, March 18, 2003

I just wanted to say...that I have really nice boobs. I'm not usually all about that...but today, I can't help but noticing. I'm lovin this bra.

I'm all about that.

This is prolly the only thing I'm going to write in here today. I've become much too addicted to posting nonsense messages and not doing work. So I hate my job...so what? Cause the sun will rise and the moon will set and you learn to settle for what you get. Hehehe. Anyway....I get to see some friends tonight. Why? Cause I'm goin to the club! I get to see Clay and Matt and Shawn and Ryan and Derrick and Jake and oh I dunno, a whole bunch of people I met but don't remember until I see them. Oh and because I'm so crafty, Cody and I have new shirts to wear. WOOT! They're kinda similar. They are both light blue with dark blue shoulder/sleeves and they both have butterflies on the front. Her's is a monarch and mine is .... blue. I dunno what kind. But they're both really cute. I'm so proud of me! And Cody for recording it. The camera again...yeah

Ok I gotta work now.

Monday, March 17, 2003

Sing it Patsy!

What a wonderful day. It really is. The only way it could be better is if I wasn't in the hellhole I like to call my job. I'm taking Wednesday off. Or at least the morning. I can't decide. I have to take my car into the dealership in Madison cause it was supposed to have a 9000 mile tune up, but I didn't know...and it has 13657 or something like that now. So...that's going in. 10:30am. So I prolly could get away with only taking a half a day off. But...I wanna have fun!

Why is it such a good day? I mean, I should be tired and feeling like crap...oh wait, I do. But I'm still cheerful about it. Strange. Maybe because it's so beautiful out and I can't get enough of it. C brought me lunch today and we went to the park down the road. After we ate, we went on the swings and noticed that everything is clearer when swinging. In your mind at least. It's much easier to think on the swing.

Club on Tuesday! I wish I was 21...and all my friends were 21. Not so we could drink (but that would be a plus) but just so we could get into clubs on nights other than a weeknight....cause that really sucks.

Ok, I know this post isn't very exciting...but I'm bored and soooo don't want to be doing work right now. Plus, I have to wait for Turdy to get back from proofing. Now she's on the phone.

Ok bye!

Ok, I had the greatest time this weekend. I don't know how to put it into words...ok here: I HAD THE BEST FUCKIN TIME THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!! That'll do.

Friday - Cody and I just kinda hung out. We were going to go see Cradle 2 the Grave, but didn’t. I dunno why. So instead we watched some other movie and went on a walk around town. That was fun. We got coffee and sat on a billboard. When the cop drove by we froze and then when he turned the corner, it was like “ok, time to get down now.” We talked with my Aunt Gwen a bit and then she left and I went to bed.

Saturday - I woke up at 10:30 or something. Jacob called at 11 or so I think. We kept trying to get a hold of both Shawn and Cody, but neither were there. So we talked on the phone for a little while. He told me he had something serious to ask me and he asked “Do you want to move to London? Cause I’ve wanted to move there for the longest time and I need to find someone to go with me and I think you might be the one.” I laughed and he just told me to think about it "cause the drinking age is 18 and there are so many more straight guys over there for you." Well, ya would think I could find one on this side of the ocean. But…we’ll see. We hung up. I did the dishes and cleaned up a bit more. Cody called at 12 or something and I told her to get her butt over to my house. We then left for Madison and we actually didn’t get lost. We missed a turn, but then made up for it. So we did well. Got to Jake’s. He had some friends over and we all decided to go to State Street and see what was goin on there. We were going to walk there at first, but then decided to drive. So we did. We parked and went and walked around. Saw some cute guys (Helllllo Mr. Triangle Market). Went into the capitol building (the West Wing is all mine). Shopped a bit (Ohhh Soap Opera). Didn’t buy anything (sorry Jake, but $5 for that coat was still too much). Then we went back to Jake’s. Hung out for a bit and waited for Dan to show up. We played hack and then Jake packed. Dan said he would come to my house later, so we left. Talked on the drive about all sorts of stuff. We stopped at Shawn's place of work to see if he was there. He was. He was sittin in his car listening to his music like a little bitch (much love!). We all hung out for a bit. He had to punch in eventually, so we hung out with him even after he did. I got a call while there and it was P!!! Oh my goodness, I screamed her name when I realized it was her. We talked a bit and then I asked if she would call me later. We went back to my house and made a cake. Talked, hung out, whatever. Cody left at 11 or something. Jake and I went on a walk to Amaco. He got online and I hung out. Stephy and Brian showed up. We watched the first part of Rocky Horror Picture show. Jake went into my room to sleep and then Shawn called. He said he was on his way. When he called later and I had to go get him to show him where I live, Stephy and Brian left. So Shawn and I sat on my loveseat and talked. Then we had a drink. Went outside to smoke and sat in his car listening to music and talking. We went back inside and had another drink. Put in Miss Congeniality. I had parts of what we talked about recorded on a cassette and parts on Video Camera. The second time I tried to use my camera I couldn’t figure it out, and you can tell cause there are like 5 times where you see the floor, wall or ceiling. We both fell asleep at the end. I woke up and shut it off when it was all snowy. I was going to go to sleep then…but couldn’t. So I woke up Shawn and asked if he want to sleep in the other room with me (instead of the loveseat cause it's small). We got in bed and just started talking again. It was so hilarious. He would be talking about something and then totally change subjects and talk about what he would be doing if he was at work. I laughed sooo hard. Finally he passed out and the dog kept me up for a bit. Finally I fell asleep around 5:45 or something. My phone rang at 6:30 so I jumped up to get it. All I heard was the song Good Morning Beautiful, I listened for 10 seconds or something and then hung up. I knew it was E. I was a bit hung over and not in the mood to listen to that crap. I can’t believe he called. That ass. I was so mad, I woke up Shawn and told him. I don’t know if he was really awake or not. But…Moving on. I fell asleep again.

Sunday - We woke up at 9 or something. Sat in bed talking a bit more. We called Levi to say hi and tell him that we love him! Finally getting up. We talked about what we were going to do and then got ready. Jake wore what he brought, while Shawn borrowed my new Kenny Chesney shirt, my new shoes I haven’t worn, a pair of socks and a sweatshirt. We took my video camera everywhere we went and had a blast with it. First going to Pierce’s to see Cody. Of course she wasn’t there. She was on break and came back soon. So we waited. She showed up, we made plans. Jake, Shawn and I went to the tourist town nearby and walked around. It would have been boring (no cute guys at all!), but we made it fun. We went to Culver’s and they got food. We sat outside. It was so beautiful out! We went back to my house to wait for Cody. Shawn wouldn’t let me sleep. That meanie. So we just sat around. When Cody showed up we went to the Lake and climbed the rocks! That was a ton of fun. I sat in mud and water. Then I stepped in it. Yummy. Shawn fell and scratched his arms up. Jacob wore sandles and ended up going barefoot a couple of times. Cody…she took care of the pictures. We climbed down the rocks all the way down after just going down a bit and then back up. It was hard. But fun. Finally at the end I was soo tired! Not sleeping and not eating kinda caught up to me. We got back to my house and I cleaned up a bit. Drank some juice, ate some cereal. Shawn gave me a caffinee pill and took one himself. The rest of the night I just kinda spaced out. My goodness. We drove to Madison and Jacob said State Street was closed down so we played hack in the East Towne Parking lot. Fun fun. It really was. I was just spaced and we all sucked. Oh well. Then we took Jacob home and Jake (other Jake) called me. At the end of the conversation he said love ya and I started to say it but then just hung up cause…what? That confused me and I almost forgot about that. I sat up front with Shawn and Cody on the drive home and Shawn fell asleep. I half sang and half slept. I couldn’t tell the difference. Cody dropped us off at my house and he started his car. I ran in and got his picture for him (of a really cute guy that he's trying to hook up with and I happened to have a picture of thanks to Mardi Gras and Jacob's outspokenness). He gave me a hug and said he would call me soon. I went in and listened to what I had recorded on my handheld recorder and fell asleep.

This morning while walking outside to go to work, I saw a cigarette butt on my sidewalk and I didn’t want to pick it up cause I didn’t want the weekend to be over. I had so much fun! So much that I kept asking everyone else if they were having as much fun as I was, and everyone said yes. I think the four of us are an awesome group to hang out with. Cody is a best friend. They just don't come like her anymore and we always have fun. Shawn is freckin hilarious. He's so fun to talk to. Jacob is so nice and outspoken. He'll talk to any stranger on the street. And me...well, I don't know but I must be fun. Shawn and Jacob both say that they are really glad they met me. So I felt special. Ohhh warm fuzzies!

Wait....it's just my sweater.

Dear Blogger,

I hate you. You ate my post and didn't even feel bad about it.

I hope you die,
Kelly


Friday, March 14, 2003

Holy fuckin Nightmare at Work! Literally! I was took a little nap on my lunch break to try and be alert for this afternoon and evening and I didn't think I was going to sleep really, just rest. Ok, this might be a little rambling cause I just woke up and am still freaked. But I didn't think I would be able to fall asleep cause you know when you start to sleep, you think of things and then your body kinda reacts? Like I was thinking/dreaming about being in a fight and then when I got punched in my dream my stomach lurched like I was going to throw up so that woke me up. Then I was trying to sleep again and my alarm went off. I still had time so I stayed in my office asleep. Then I open my eyes and there is this huge black bug thing crawling up my chair right next to my legs. I jumped up and pushed the chair across my office. Totally freaked out...then there was nothing there. I've never had that happen. Now I'm all jumpy and looking around for huge spidery type things. *shiver* ohhh yucky.

I wish I spoke another language... I want to speak Chinese. I would love to work as a tour guide on those biking/hiking tours they've got goin on. That would be amazing.

Last night was fun. Cabaret...again. I met Clay and we went to the coffee shop. Michangelo's. Yum. Chai! In my town...all the coffee places are closed at 3pm. 3! It's outRAGEgeous! hehehe. Moving on, Clay loved the play. I figured out who the host guy reminds me of, looks kinda like and sounds like Santiago from Interview with a Vampire. We got to meet more of the actors. Jake (he's a sailor/Natzi in the play) and I are kinda trying to hook up Clay with the guy who played Victor (Aaron). All in all it was good clean fun. Well, maybe not clean... but good fun none the less! Clay, Matt and I are going to go ice skating sometime. Soon hopefully. Anyone wanna come with?

I called Jacob yesterday. I hadn't talk to him in awhile so I thought I would say hi, but he wasn't there. I was a little bummed, but who should call as I'm making my way to Madison? JACOB! He didn't even know I called. So that was cool. I asked if he wanted to come up this weekend and he asked what I was doing today. So we might do something today and will definately do something tomorrow. HORRAY!

I just reread some stuff and Icky...why oh why oh why? Why can't I find a normal (straight) guy? Really, cause my last couple of boyfriends have really sucked. Especially E. Why did it take so long for me to realize it? I figure I was just still hanging on to what he was like before his accident. He fucked up sooo much. Damn, I'm stupid. And now I know almost no straight guys. At least ones I would consider dating. Well, there is this guy that L was talking about...one of his friends (and mine too I guess) has a really hot nephew and I'm supposed to go on a couple of dates with him. There is a drawback tho, they think he's either gay or bi and they want me to find out. Well, I guess I'd be good at it. 3 of my exs are now gay. This is not good for self esteem.

Moving on. I'm hopin the day goes well. Cause I'm tired. The phone rang this morning and I thought I was late for work and they were calling me to see if I was alive. But no, it was one of my friend's dad calling to see if she was either at my house or get L's number to try him. I'm a little worried cause she's been in enough trouble...she doesn't need anymore. I thought she was smarter than this. I hope she's ok.

It's only 9:03 in the am. I'm sooo tired! I want to go on vacation. Does anyone have a couch I could sleep on? Cause I don't care where I go...as long as it isn't in Wisconsin. I promise we'll have great conversations and I'll be the best guest you could ask for. Please? I really want to go to Chicago and New York. Chicago is close enough that I could go for a day...and we've made plans to...but haven't gone. Sad really. As far as New York goes...L, C and I were supposed to go in a couple of weeks...but with this whole...cops out to get him thing he's got goin on...we prolly won't make it for a long time. But if anyone wants a really fun visitor...anywhere...let me know.

Thursday, March 13, 2003

a few things:

Just got off the phone with Levi, L, my pants...whatever the fuck you want to call him. He's still where he was but is going somewhere else soon. There is more to it than just fines but we'll not go into it. I'm still really sad about it. Hopefully it will be taken care of easily.

Really bad pick up line I just heard: "Are you're parents retarded? Cause you sure are special."

Remember that dream I had about that I was going to come back to...well here ya go:
There was this older woman (mid-fifties) and she ran a restaurant/bar. She fell in love with Death while he was in the body of a man (think Joe Black) and he loved her back. It was all very dramatic. He had to leave and go do his job (killing people) but he promised he would be back. There was a blizzard outside and she cried out as he was leaving "but how will I know it's you?" and he replied "you love me right? you'll know." And left. She went on with her life and ran her business. Then it was summer, hot and sticky and a stranger walks into the bar. She knows it's him, she just knows it. He takes her hand and leads her out to the back alley. All the way she's expclaiming her love for him. When they get out into the alley, he kisses her and then stabs her with a knife. It turns out the guy was a serial killer and not really death at all. Well, in a way I guess he was.

Isn't that fucked up? And I dreamed this before I went to sleep.

Why does life kill me with complications? Grr! I'm not happy! I'm down right sad! This whole L thing has got me down. Jail time for some lowsey fines? PTHTHTHTHTHTH!! They should just be glad to get their money. When you think about it, it's like L will be paying them to put him in jail. Poor, poor L. *sniff*

I am so very, very sad. It seems that L's legal issues are catching up to him. The afterbar at his house was reported for noise and when the cops showed up and took down their names. The cops left, ran their names and then came back for L. He got out ok and is now in an "undisclosed location". He decided that he's going to get enough money to pay off his fines and then turn himself in. Or at least that's what I heard, who knows if it's right or not. I was still in shock when we were talking. I don't want him to go to jail! I'm supposed to find a phone number for him, but I have no idea where to look.

Oh well, I'm at work so I should be working. So far today isn't bad. Having to deal with this co-worker of mine is really starting to get old tho. WHY CAN'T SHE LET ME DO MY JOB! Grrr. This guy who we work with came in to ask me about my book and she tried to answer and he totally cut her off and said he was asking me! I felt special.

Ohhh Kenny Chesney if you only looked as good as you sounded. Don't get me wrong, you're cute, but you're just not my type.

I'm sure I'll be back later when I have nothing to do (or at least nothing I want to do)

Wednesday, March 12, 2003

hehehe on my first post I didn't even spell out shit. That's pretty funny.

So very very tired. So very. I wish I could just curl up and sleep. But no. I'm at work.

Last night was fun. It started out dramatic and silly, but got better. At L's, he was cleaning and stressed out cause he was throwing an after bar at his house later that night. So I, in turn, got frusterated and pissed off. JA never called so they didn't go with us. That made me really pissed off. I smoked way more than I wanted to. I had to sit outside alone for a min and then C came and joined me. After that I felt better.

Finally we got to the club around 10:30 so something. Everything got better. Shawn came up and we danced with him a lot. We danced with Clay a lot. We danced a lot! More than any other time I think. And it was fuckin hot! Oh my gosh. They played Soccer Practice and Momma Mia! I was cheesin! I saw a couple of people I know from in town here. One who I didn't know had come out (everyone suspected, but I didn't know for sure so I wasn't going to say something) and one who used to work at Kitchen. I was super excited. Next week, I'm taking Wednesday off so C and I can stay all night long! After bar at L's!!

I invited a couple of people to my house on Saturday. My parents are gone so I invited some boiz to come over and watch Mommy Dearest. I haven't seen it and thought it would be cool if they joined me in watching it. So Shawn is coming for sure and C should already be there. Dunno about anyone else really.

And if you know where the phrase in the last post is from, you will be one of the coolest people I know. drop me a note if ya do dreamcatcher_gurl@yahoo.com

Time for super quiz so...

latas!

ok back....
Is it bad that I know more gay guys than straight guys? I talk to everyone equally. I start up conversations with random people and it's a ton of fun. So why do I hang out with my boiz more? I kinda lost contact with a lot of my friends during that E thing...another thing he fucked up for me. Is that part of it? It's easier to make new friends than have to deal with the old? And all the friends I've made in the last couple of weeks are thru L and gay. Maybe when P gets back I'll met some different, straight, guys. Then again, maybe not. But all I know is that I have some really cool friends and I have a ton of fun at the club on Tuesdays. So there!

Tuesday, March 11, 2003

hi. we're here. blah. we were over there....now we're over here now.

welcome from Madison. hi. still over here. kinda bored.

wehe.

ewww.

I'm really frusterated right now. My job is just too stressful. And it wouldn't be...if I wasn't working with the most annoying person I know! Good Lord this woman just doesn't know what she's doing!! Well, she does, she just does it in a fucked up way. I can't stand it. And my supervisor that quit was on a plane back to Wales yesterday so my boss is all depressed cause it was one of his best friends. This is the second friend of his to go over the sea in 3 months. But now he's all bitchy and it sucks.

So what now? I don't care. I had fun last night. JA, his girl Angie and their friend Clay came into town last night. Total surprise! C and I went to their hotel and we hung out. They're going to come to the club with us tonight. hehehe. This'll be interesting. I was showing my pics on Saturday and all my boiz think JA is hott! And now he's even better looking. Finally! A hot straight guy! I was beginning to think they didn't exist. Too bad he's my "brother". Nah, not really too bad.

I was chattin last night and I guess I'm going to Def Leppard now. I barely know who they are. But a free ticket is a free ticket. One of my high school friends who I almost dated asked me to go with him. I'm wonderin if he's lookin to hook up or if we're just going to go as friends. I'm hopin it's friends cause I'm so far from "liking" this guy. Don't get me wrong, he'a great guy....just not for me. I have way too many gay friends to date a homophobe.

Anyway, this is cute. I chatted with Jacob last night and here's what we said:
Jacob: *yawn* tired
me: yeah, it's late
me: but I had to get online to see if you were here
Jacob: hehehe ditto
me: lol
...nothing said for five minutes...
me: that's pretty funny, we get online to chat and then say nothing
Jacob: Sorry, I blacked out and was drooling all over the keyboard

P's going to be back soon!!!!!! A week and a half. I'm super excited. I just can't wait to move out. Seriously, I'm dying! I don't know why. I get along with my parents just fine. Well, I know why. I want to be able to have people over whenever I want and not have to worry about bothering them or them bothering us. I mean I'm almost 19 (give or take a month or 5). I love having my mom do my laundry and have food all right there...but I want my own place. Hurry up P!

I still haven't gotten my taxes back. Damn you. So what if Uncle Sam likes you better, I bet I get more than you! Well, maybe not. Prolly not. Shit, I ain't gettin nothin. Not really. But I really want my money!

~Kelly~

I used to sign my name like that. Ok this is getting boring and I'm bored. So bored I could turn into...a 2 by 4. Hhehehe, sad, silly little joke.

It's only 10. That sucks. Really bad. Cause I want to leave. Really bad. I wonder if anyone would care. Prolly. I've been really busy at work lately. Prolly cause I've been spending my time emailing, posting here and reading other blogs. Oh well, huh? Shitt...I'm gonna go work. I guilted myself into it.

Perhaps I should move to Madison.

Monday, March 10, 2003

Guess what! I have AIM now...so if ya wanna add me...I'm KiaKllrChkn Levi made it up for me, what a sweetie!

or not.

Moving on...I had a great weekend. Pizza Friday with Cody and the same high school friend we've been doing this with.
I'll finish later!
Later! Ok after the pizza and pool. We went back to my house and hung out. I don't think we watched a movie, but I could be wrong. Wait, we did. I don't remember what. Moving on. Just basically hung out all night. C left around 12 or something. I went thru my room finding all sorts of interesting things. Like a notebook from Creative Writing senior year. Then I went to bed cause I had nothing better to do around 1:30. Right before I fell asleep I had a dream about a woman who fell in love with death. It was strange, I'll tell ya later.

Saturday I woke up at 11. Took a shower. C came and picked me up at 12. We drove over to S's. Met up with her and some other people, drove to McFarland for S's skating competition. Fun fun. She got second in her division. Went home. Called Levi. He wasn't there. Called my oldest sister. She invited me over for the night. I said maybe, but prolly not. Levi called back and I drove to Madtown. Met up with him. Drove to JanesVegas and attended a hot tub party in which I didn't go in the hot tub. That was a lot of fun tho. I saw my first porn. Icky. I spent most of the time covering my eyes and laughing. Had to leave there around 11:00, ended up leaving at 11:30. Got back to Madison and dropped Clay off. Went to Levi's...chatted on gay.com. That was interesting. A straight girl in a gay chat room. Oh well, I had fun and made a few friends. I'd like to give a shout out to KidPharoh. I also got some really bad news in that a friend of mine is now a half a mile away from the "front line" in Iraq now. We finally went to bed at 4:30am.

Woke up at 8. Got all purty, drove down to JanesVegas again. Went to the pancake breakfast my family was using as an excuse for a family reunion. My dad called Levi butch. I loved it! I laughed soo hard. I think most of my family thought he was my boyfriend tho. That's pretty funny too. After that we went down to Whitewater and hung out with Teege. We watched Girl, Inturupted. Drove back to Madtown, ate massive amounts of Mac and Cheese. I drove home, chatted and went to sleep. The end.

Now the weekend is over and it's Monday and as much as I realized how much I love Fridays in that I don't have to work the next day, I realized today that Monday's really suck. I used to just think 'Aww, people just say that' but no. Mondays really do suck. They really do.

Who thinks I should quit my job and move to Madtown? Cause I'm thinking about it!

Friday, March 07, 2003

I'M NOT BROKE!!!!!!!

Well...I have work to do...shoot. I was reading over my archives and wow. Things have changed so much since December even. In three months I had so much happen. It's kinda scary. I'll explain later sometime.

Oh yeah, the pictures are really really awesome. But some of them didn't turn out. Like...the one of Teege and Levi. And...the one of Levi with a queen. So I have one pic of Levi alone and one of all of us in a group. Someday, if I ever figure out how to work this thing...I might show you.

Wow, I don't know if I can do nothing anymore. Really, wow. I've done nothing so much that I have nothing left to do...haha that was almost funny.

Last night, I was supposed to receive a phone call from Shawn. But that bitch didn't call so I called him and he "went to the mall". That gay bastard. (Much love!) So I asked Cody if she wanted to go to Madison, to purchase the Cabaret soundtrack and to take Levi a cake (just because). She agreed and drove over. Then I looked at my check book and realized that after my car payment and speeding ticket are deducted...I will have $17. I'm used to having much much more. So if I did go to Madison, by habbit I can only assume that I would over spend. So I was bummed. Very bummed. And broke. I also recently lost $30. How can I do that? It was sitting right next to my bed where it always has. Not fair. Oh well.

Moving on.

We stayed at my house and watched two really old movies. (Really old being early 90's) They were kinda silly, but entertaining...at least for me...next time, I'll let you pick the movies ok Cody? We ate a ton! Oh my gosh, I haven't eaten that much in a long time...we had ummm what did we have? Pizza! Tombstone BBQ Chicken...and we ate the whole thing. She ate half, I ate half. Then we each had an 1/8 of a cake and a smallish scoop of ice cream. I was full. I was happy. I wasn't moving.

I took a shower and then fell asleep with the headphones on (listening to Garth Brooks). That kinda hurt this morning. I realized it when my alarm went off (for the third time) at 7:04. When my mother came in to wake me up, I told her and then rolled over and went back to sleep until 7:30. Woke up, got dressed, brushed my teeth and sped my ass to work and got here almost on time. At least I didn't get a bad parking spot.

So tired! But TGIF!!! I have no idea what I'm going to do tonight. Cody and I were talking about going to see The Laramie Project, but I'm broke. This would be a good time for my taxes to come back. Well, we can hope.

Thursday, March 06, 2003

Ritz bits with CHEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSEEE. Oh yummy goodness!
MARTI GRAS PICTURES MAKE ME HAPPY!!!!! That's right! The pictures turned out! As soon and K gave me the prints I screamed. They turned out so well! I must have gone through them four times before I tucked them safely into my coat pocket. Then I looked through them twice more when I got home and once again when I got up this morning. OH HAPPINESS!! Everyone looks so happy and sexy! Oh I could CRY!

Wednesday, March 05, 2003

How was your Mardi Gras? CAUSE MY ROCKED THE HOUSE!

Really I had a ton of fun. We went to the Club like planned. The drive to Madison was...an adventure. Snowy crappy roads and slow crappy drivers. But we were fine once we got on the interstate. It took us only slightly longer than normal to arrive at Levi's. My magical mom had purchased some beads for me earlier and when I whipped them out...the fun began. We got all pretty and then drove over to some other friends' place. We sat around watching the Salam Witch Trials on the tv with this other guy, Ryan, who we all just met. He was pretty cute, but didn't talk much. So then we left for the club. Once there...it was dead. Really. But I saw a couple of people I had either met before or met last week. Then more people showed up and it was a busy busy place. I had a ton of fun. In exchange for beads I received two kisses (one from Ryan and another from Shawn), one guy flashed me and another promised to call so we could hang out tomorrow. In exchange for beads I gave out a couple of kisses (both to Ryan that stud!), let Levi play with my boobies and the pleasure of my company to whoever (I told one drag queen that I liked her shoes and later while walking by she put a couple of strings around my neck). Clayton gave me a pig he won in a claw machine, so I was carrying that and a camera around all night. Oh yeah, I got pictures! Woot! So all in all, I'm going to have to say I had a great time.

I swear I have fogotten how to dance. Surely I used to be able to, right? Well, maybe not forgot so much as am out of practice. It's not like riding a bike you know. But I wasn't feeling it last night. Until the end when no one wanted to dance. Then it took forever and finally I got Shawn out there with me. We danced for 30 seconds and then stopped when no one else was out there. So good times right? Oh well. There is always another time.

Tuesday, March 04, 2003

Why did I think it was cool to lie? To pretend to find no joy in what I saw? I don't know. Peer pressure? No, self imposed pressure. I didn't want to be a sissy. But it's ok now. I've finally come to terms with it and can admit with pride:

I love musicals.

I know, I know. There are some really annoying ones out there (where?) but...I still love them. It's one of my biggest weaknesses. I watch them on tv and movies, I go see them live in theaters, I listen to them while driving to work! I just can't get enough.

Wow, first admitting that I'm a girly-girl and then saying I love musicals...I've grown so much. *tear*

HAPPY FAT TUESDAY EVERYONE!!!!!
I'm cheesin' and ready to go partyin', but not before I get my nap. I've been up sence 5 this morning, worked the shift from HELL until 11, now I'm at the campus and I have CLASSES to go to. Is it just me or are "they" asking a lot of me? mmmmmm . . . chocolate . . . Rolos . . . MMMMMMMMmmmmmmm!

Me. This sweet little innocent girl sitting before your eyes just might be in trouble. Just just might have a warrent out for her arrest. Whoops. All because she's an airhead who can't pay her fines on time. Not because of any money trouble mind you. Simply because she's a master procrastinator and forgot all about it. Until this very morning, this sweet little girl's mother pointed out the date on her pink piece of paper (hanging proudly on the fridge so she wouldn't forget) was for tomorrow. Tomorrow. I have to have a check for $163.00 in Barren County by tomorrow. Well, let's hope the mail moves.

Surely this is a mix up. This naive girl would do nothing that fell outside the guidelines of the law. Not me?

Monday, March 03, 2003

Ok, I read somewhere that the ads on the top of the screen are based on the content of the site. Meaning they do a quick little search and put ads that go with some of the words on your site. Well, I got some BIG SILLY NOISES GAME ad. That's pretty funny.

Happy fuckin Monday everyone!

So there I was...wow, it's been awhile since I've said that. Kinda sad. When I say that it reminds me of when I used to go to Kitchen and just be able to chill with people without having to listen to gossip. Or if I did have to listen, I didn't know what was going on. Now I know the same shit they talk about everytime and in addition, they're prolly talking about me. Which sucks. But I don't care. I haven't been in there for a month or two. Oh well! A couple of people have tried to call me and find out what's going on, but I ain't talkin! No sir! It's kinda funny. I used to consider people there my friends, but ... they don't really care. At least not enough. Which sucks cause I cared sooo much for everyone there. Rejection man.

It's official, I hate having an office next to the bathroom. It's really not cool man.

Tomorrow is Fat Tuesday. I wish I could be in New Orleans. But alas...this is not to be. I'm going to be at Madison's Premire Gay and Lesibian Club, staring at the boys and getting hit on by the girls. Why go to a gay bar when I'm straight you ask? Eyecandy. And my boiz! Especially Levi! I hope it's a ton of fun. OH MY GOSH I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!

Ok, I'm done being girly now.

Nothing else has happened. E called AGAIN, and said this that I was supposed to watch myself around drugs cause he got his job back as a narc. Oh that pisses me off. If he had told me that in the first place...blah! Then he gave me his "office" number to call incase any of my friends or myself got into trouble, he could "help out". Nope, don't think so, I'm not doing anything where I have even the slightest chance of being in debt to him. I think he finally got the point and ended up pretty much hanging up on me. Oh well!

+-) Cyclops. ARE YOU STARRING AT MY EYE?
no, no, no.

Who hasn't seen Cannibal the Musical? Cause ya'll have to see it. Honestly, it is a funny, funny movie. I wish to marry Trey Parker/Juan Schwartz.

Oh Saturday I think I'm staying at Levi's. I'm supposed to, but I think Hayward people might be coming to visit. I'm not sure. I'll have to call and find out. It's not like it has to be done. It's just so I get an extra hour of sleep. Then on Sunday I get to take Levi to a pancake breakfast with my family! It's gonna be interesting. I'm sure we'll have a ton of fun!

Ok, I'm getting a little sick of myself being so perky. I mean, enough exclaimation points already. Jeeze.

Oh well. Everyone have a great day, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Awww, no really I mean that. Have a truly enjoyable day!

Sunday, March 02, 2003

Okay, so I thought Latin was the worst thing in the world but have now decided that cabin fever combined with no time or money to do anything about it is. Just so you know.

I'm leaving on a jet plane, I don't know when I'll be back again . . .

I wish . . .

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