Wednesday, April 02, 2003

Please? May I please go home?

no? oh....

I am so very very tired. So Very VERY TIRED. But moving on. Last night was a ton of fun. P met me at work and I drove us to my house. I got ready really quick-like. Ok sorta quick-like. I looked really good tho. I wore my new shirt. It's long sleeve, button up and has like a southwest design just on the pockets and on the middle of the back. So it didn't look to hicksville. Also, my new hat, which just so happens to be a cowboy hat. And also, my really cute belt buckle that looks like playing cards spread out. Oh I had my hair in piggytail braids too. I wish I had a picture...but I'm sure I'll wear it again.

We drove on over to Kitchen where Beppo was waiting! BEPPO! I was super happy to see him. We sat around and talked. C showed up soon after. We kept sitting around and talking. Shawn and Foxxy showed up after a bit. We have some interesting (read: nasty) conversations in that building. Well...anywhere actually. I thought we might get kicked out this time tho. So we took it upon ourselves to leave. I never even got a ticket so I just left. Fluck them, I was so frusterated by then. Oh well. We did a bunch of running around and then drove to Shawn's house and dropped Foxxy off at her car. Got to Madison. Went to the club. I was not feeling the love at all at first. Really, I was just kinda depressed and down. No one was saying hi to me. No one was saying anything to me. So Aaron (my other "lady" from 2 ladies in Cabaret) and I were just hanging out. Cause we rock. We were the first to request a ton of songs and I'm gonna have to say, we have excellent taste. Ryan came in. He was kissing up so much cause he knew I was kinda mad at him. He and Aaron were kinda competing for me...then they would hang out for awhile. Later on in the night, all these people who didn't talk to me earlier came up and started talking. I still don't get it. But I had a good time after that. P and Beppo disapeared over to the bar side, L and C went into the ladies bathroom where a group of people (boys&girls) were listening to a popular drag queen's life highlights and that left me pretty much alone. I didn't mind. Cause I have made so many friends there, I didn't need them. And I don't mean that to sound conceited or snobby or anything. It was just kinda cool that I know so many people. I could always find someone I knew. I could go to the back, the dance floor or the front and I always had someone to talk to. That was way cool. Anyway, I spent most of the night on the dance floor with Aaron and later Clay and Aaron. Aaron did a strip tease for me (this is the third week in a row I've taken his shirt off). He started out my friend, became my boyfriend and is now my husband. And he called me gorgeous! Ryan (also my husband) kissed me and slipped me a little tounge (surprise!). Clay kissed me and I stole his sucker. Foxxy and I got up on a box and danced together with all our boiz watching (that's funny cause the two of us are the biggest Flame Dames/Fag Hags/Fruit Flies in the building...well we thought it was funny) And Shawn...didn't really talk to me all night.** But I had a really good time once the bad mood disapeared. I just want to say that Clay i.s such a cutie! And Joey, you rock, Happy Birthday on Sunday...see ya at Red Lobster. Oh my gosh, I love it when random people come up and start talking to me. This guy...Michael? Well, he came up and said he liked my hat and asked if I was going over to the afterbar. And then this guy...Jason? He was with BoxOfRocks and we starting dancing together and just having a conversation about people who don't look their age. I feel a bad for BoxOfRocks. He's L's ex. So I'm not exactly wanting to be his best friend, but he's always so nice to me. And I still don't really like him. I mean, I'm nice (like I could be mean to anyone) but I can't really be his best good buddy. I dunno, who am I to deny anyone my company?

We left after the slow dance (thanks Aaron!) and headed back home. We listened to Jack Black and I laughed my ass off. While falling asleep. I don't know how. Anyway, when we got a little closer to town I decided that I needed to cuddle. So I said someone hold me. No on moved. Thanks guys. So because Beppo was the only guy in the car and he was in front and I was in back I said "Beppo, get back here and hug me. Nope, come here. (he tried to just lean back in the seat). Climb over the seat and get back here. Now." Super bitchy! P was laughing at me cause it was an impression of Foxxy. But it worked! And we cuddled the rest of the way home. When we stopped to drop him off, I didn't let him go for a couple of mins. It was so nice to be held by a straight guy.

Once at home, I took a shower and P read. We turned off the lights and then proceeded to talk for the next hour. I didn't get to sleep until about 4:15. Woke up this morning at 7. That sucked. It still does suck. But it was nice to talk to P, like always. She was impressed with how many people I know at the club. I am too actually. But she really inflated my ego and I needed that. I looked pretty! And I have friends! But I wonder how many would miss me if I was gone...

Not that I actually want to know. Cause if it was less than I thought...I'd cry. Really. I'm sure they don't need me there to have fun, but damn it. I am a fun person to hang out with. Who am I trying to convince...me or you?

**I don't get this boy. Shawny. We have a really good time when we hang out, we talk on the phone for a really long time when he does finally call, he says I'm an awesome friend...but he ignores me a lot. So last night, I decided that I'm not going to actually try for attention from him. I'm sick of inflating his ego so he can walk away. This sounds so bad. I really do love this kid, and we have a ton of fun and I know he loves me and has fun with me too. I just have issues with being ignored in a group. Well, it's not just Shawn tho. I go totally out of my way to make sure no one is being left out or ignored...but no one does that for me. There's my issue.

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