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Friday, May 30, 2003

Ok, I'm happy, but disapointed at the same time.

We signed the lease yesterday. yay. But at the same time, there are all sorts of stupid rules that we're supposed to follow. No visitors more than 2 day/nights in a row without giving notice to the managment, you have to have written permission to have a person stay over two weeks, 1 car per apartment...silly stupid things like that. And then this is the worst of all. I asked about adding someone to our lease and she said no way. Not ever. She wouldn't have even considered apporoving us if there was someone else applying. I almost didn't want to sign it after that. Cause, seriously, that's not cool. So Clay can't come live with us. That makes me so sad. But then P signed it and so I did. My dad looked at the place and told her a couple of things wrong with it (yay dad!). But we got the keys and can start moving our stuff in on Sunday. This is going to be a long weekend.

After the whole apartment thing, we went to Kitchen (with Kasey, Shawn and C) to meet some of P's friends from her hometown. We walked up the strip and ate at Culver's. Mmmm, yummy custard. Crusty Monkey met us there. Another of their friends called and they talked him to drive the hour drive to see them. When we got done eating we walked down to the park. We played on the swings, slides and did whatever. Shawn and I checked out guys on the basketball court. That was fun. Crusty Monkey and P had "sex" on the playground equipment and swings. Crusty Monkey and I had a romantic experience. We were talking, he turned and looked at me and asked "Can I kiss you?" I said sure and he said, "Ok, but let's be romantic." So we held hands and skipped through the grass. Then we tumbled ("SLOWLY! If these pants get grass stained so help me God Kelly") and rolled for a half turn, realized the grass was wet and jumped up. Instead we spun circles and laughed gleefully. Then we stopped, looked at each other deep into our eyes and slowly met for a kiss. Then I blew it by laughing.

The guy that we were meeting showed up. We went back to Kitchen...blah blah blah

Tonight, my parents are taking me to get some furniture. Cause we have none. Well, we have beds. It's going to be a fun trip to Madison. After shopping we're going over to Christian's and staying the night there. So we leave for Milwaukee in the morning...again. This is killling me! I know C and P are going to be reading and I have to drive. PLEASE JUST TALK WITH ME! Mainly because I don't want to fall asleep and drive off the road, but also because I know I'm going to be in a miserable mood and talking will help me get over that.

Thursday, May 29, 2003

Yay for us! The apartment lady called us yesterday and said that all we needed to do was get my dad to co-sign and we could have the place. So P is calling her today and setting something up for tomorrow so we can sign papers. Cool beans man! But there's more. More? MUCH MORE!

Clayton called last night to see what was up and have a little chat. We talked for 20 minutes or so. Then I was talking to my mom about the place we're getting and she asked if anyone was going to live with us. Then it hit me. I don't want Clay to move to Illinois. Clay doesn't really want to move to Illinois...so I ran out into the living room and asked her if she thought it would be cool if Clay lived with us. She got just as excited as I did and I ran to call him. I told him about it and he just seemed kinda shocked. He said he would think about it and talk with his parents about it.

I went to bed after South Park, a shower and parts of Rodger Rabbit. Clay called at 11:43 and told me he was really happy we invited him, asked some of the details and then said he would call me tomorrow (today). I think he's excited about it too. So then I was all awake and happy. So P and I stayed up talking about all sorts of stuff. Relationships and how stupid we are about them. Why we're all stupid about them. How we are afraid for some of our friends. How cool it will be to finally live together. Well...in our own place cause really we've been living together for awhile now. Shawn called to try and get one of us to call Matt and ask him out for Shawn. Then he called again to tell us not to cause he would do it himself. Finally I got to sleep at 1:30 or so. Woke up at 7...at work...proof-reading stupid sheets of paper. Ecky.

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

How can so many good things and yet so many bad things happen at once. Cause at the same time when I'm really happy with the friends I have and the life I live, people from my past that I don't wish to remember show up. Not only is E back in town, he's living with F-meow. So it makes it a heck of a lot harder to get a hold of F-meow without talking to E. Icky. Then reappears the guy who forced me to go much further than I wished last summer. If I have to work with him this year...I don't know what I would do. Please, please let him not be back here.

I forgot the most exciting news of all time!!!! Guess who is going to Ozzfest this year. Come on...guess! Aww, no? ME!!! I didn't even have to pay for the ticket either. And...the might be backstage passes! Oh wow. I can't wait!!!! I'm super happy about it. I got the best people in the world as my friends!

I. am. so. in. love. with. the. apartment.

It's so pretty! And it's in the corner of the building too! So we have a balcony and three windows that overlook the softball diamonds! The stove and fridge are included, plus washers and dryers are downstairs. It's just great. I'm ready to move in now. And the landlady loved us! She said we seemed very serious and responsible. Boy do we have her fooled.

So we're going to have a BOOM BOOM ROOM! I'm excited. But actually I'm getting a little nervous about it. I don't want P bringing home guys all the time. I am so not about that. I don't mind once in awhile, but she says if she has her way, I'd be meeting new friends of her's every night. That's a bit much. So we'll see about that. We need to set some rules down. Icky rules. I just want home to be a place to live. I'm not even about parties anymore. Cause I don't want the house trashed and I don't want to fuck up my first rental experience. Ya know?

Anyway, last night was fun. We had to wait for D to get to my house at 8 before we could leave. Then we drove on over to Shawn's. On the way, we heard the dj say something about playing Fever for the Flavor. So we listened to wjjo for awhile to hear it. It wasn't on. We got to Shawn's so P and I quick down a Triple Black each. Then Kasey, C, D and P left. They went to Clay's. I stayed at Shawn's while he waited for his game to save (it took forever!). Then we drove to Clay's. On the way there, I called wjjo to see if they had played it yet and it was Oz! I said hello, he talked to me in his sexy voice and then said he would hook me up with the song. It was on next and afterwards he said that it was for Kelly. YAY! Clay called right at that time to see where we were. So I didn't get to hear all he said. Damn! but ok, hi Clay. I told him P and company should be there soon, but we would be another 15 minutes.

We finally get to Clay's and just talk. I got from guy to guy talking. I know too many people sometimes. Mostly I just wanted to see Clay, because well, he might be moving back to his "home" city. Everyone knows he totally belongs where he's at. But we'll see what happens. Anyway, Clay, P and I down another Triple Black each. Then it's off to the club. On the drive, Clay sat in the front seat of C's car with me. He didn't have to, I just told him he would be cool if he did it. It's not my fault he can't stand up to peer pressure. We talked the entire way. And I tried to help him out and show him things he might not be seeing, but I don't know if I did any good. It's hard to make someone understand that the first step to getting out of a controlling relationship is realizing you're in a controlling relationship. And that's hard to do. I don't even know if that's that case, that's something for him to figure out, I just want to be there to help him when he needs it.

I have to work, I'll finish this later.

Later: So we get to the club...Crusty Monkey, P, C, D, Kasey, Tristin (?), one of his friends, Clay and I are all standing out by the car. Pelot, Crusty Monkey, Clay and I are shared the last bottle of Triple Black. It was cute, P was leaning on the car and Crusty Monkey was leaning against her and Clay was standing in front of me and he pulled my arms around him. So I asked Clay if he would be my boyfriend for the night and he said "oh yeah baby!...I have to behave anyway 'cause my boyfriend doesn't even know that I'm here." We all went in. I wanted to dance, but got sidetracked by a very, very drunk Ryan. Wow. We talked a bit, he told me about how he wasn't moving to Texas anymore and his current situation with his boyfriend(s). It was a long odd story for which he was too drunk to tell. He was all over everyone tho. I mean he was all kissing me and then going over and kissing P. Not like that's not normal or anything, he just did it a lot.

Clay finally stole me away and we danced. I love that boy! He's such a wonderful person! And when he smiles, his whole face totally lights up. Awww. I just want him happy.

It was so cute, this straight boy is living with Derrick and he was all over C. I was a little worried cause he has a girlfriend, but C is a big girl and if she needs help with anything I've got her back.

Then I had to talk with Christian while he had been drinking. He kissed me a lot too. And he did the whole tounge in ear thing, bothersome. Plus, he gave me a fuckin hickey! Not cool man! Oh well, he was drunk, I'll forgive him. He was also all about Crusty Monkey. Why? Cause Crusty Monkey is hott! And because I'm good friends with him, I was responsible for making something work. So the three of us are going to go out sometime because Crusty is a little nervous. So...yeah. That should be interesting. I work my magic so well. As a reward I got a couple of mouth shots from Chris! Yay!

I spent most of the night really fuckin hot. We decided to leave early, so good. We got home at 2. Earliest ever I'd almost say. I was getting a little bitchy at the end...I appologize. Once we were in the car, I got a little depressed. Ok, a lot depressed. Anything someone said, I was taking it as a hurtful way towards me. When people weren't talking to me I got even more depressed. I felt the whole "why do I always talk about myself?" Seriously, I felt like the most self-centered bitch last night. And I don't even think anyone noticed. Oh well huh?

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

YAY YAY YAY!!!!

I'm getting off work at 3 on this lovely day. Three!! Ya know why? Well, for one because it's a lovely day. For two because P and I are going to look at a place! I'm not sure if it's an apartment or a house, but it's a three bedroom. Three!! And it's only $550 a month. Good lord! But she said it was a small three bedroom. So we'll see. It's not like we need a ton of room, but with an extra bedroom, if the living room is small, we have another place to hang out. YAY!

What a day. I didn't even have to take a nap over lunch. Instead I sat outside for a bit and read my book. Not the book I wanted to read, but a book nonetheless. It was marvelous, until a fricken bee decided that I smelled good, cause he wouldn't leave me alone until I went inside. It was a strange lunch. I didn't get a lot accomplished. Strange how that works. Not really.

My goodness, my sister said I was cool yesterday. Which isn't all that odd, but she just sounded so impressed. I was shocked. I was just sitting in the Burger King booth, wearing Kasey's new hat, my gumby shirt and my sunglasses, sucking on a candy cigarette. I'm going to hope she was refering to how I don't care how dorky I look instead of how I actually looked.

20 minutes later she yelled at me for pissing her boyfriend off. Sorry, wait, nope I'm not. I'm not about to adjust my behavior for anyone. Especially him.

Candy cigarettes kinda taste like sucker sticks. Kinda like paper.

Well, nothing really new happened. I went downtown after work today and picked up Kasey and my sister from where they were hanging out with my sister's boyfriend. We were going to go horseback riding, but didn't. Kasey and I ended up playing catch and just chillin out. P was sleeping on the couch. We woke her up so we could go have our Monday tradition of eating/getting dessert from this certain restaurant. Yum. Shawn showed up while we were there. I was so happy! I didn't think he was going to come.

So P's car died Sunday night. It was sitting in front of a local bar. So we drove on over after dessert and tried to jump it...not happening. The battery didn't even spark. I'm thinkin she needs a new one...I don't know if I mean a new battery or a new car, but something need to be replaced.

NEW: Wowo! Excited am I? YES! Why you ask? Because this is the second day in a row that SD has sent me text messages. And he's just so great. Really, he is one of those people you can't help but like. He's cute, he's a musician (A DAMN GOOD ONE TOO!) and funny as all hell. He really reminds me of Jim Carrey sometimes, in how he looks and how he's just so hillarious. There is only one bad thing about him and that's he's a pothead. A really big pothead. Nothing happens unless he's smoked up already. And who knows what else. So I don't really know all that much about him actually. I just like him so far. It's good to be his friend.

Monday, May 26, 2003

So it's been awhile hasn't it? Sorry. Actually no I'm not. Because now I'll have something to do instead of just sit here today. Good times.

Well, Thursday let's see...Thursday we went to Shawn's. I get so annoyed when people aren't ready. I mean, I was at work all day Thursday and when I got home, I changed and then was ready to go. P still had to do makeup and run to the liquor store and do this and that when she didn't really have anything to do the entire day! But moving on. I was bringing a bottle of Vanilla Dr. A big bottle. P got a case of Smirnoff Triple Black and a bottle of Blue Puckers. We are the giving sort. It takes us awhile (stupid Mr. SemiTrucker got stuck while managing to block the entire road) but finally we make it to his house. There are a couple of different people there. I knew one out of four. Oh well. Shawn and I leave right away for Madison to pick up his new interest Matt and also Joey and Too-Tall Matt. We only got lost a little bit while looking for the correct McDonalds. Then over to Matt and Joey's, Joey also had a friend going. There ended up being Too-Tall Matt, Joey, Shamiqua and me in the backseat, while Matt sat shotgun and Shawn drove. It was crazy.

Back at the party, I called my buddy SD. Remember him? He's the guy from a town 4 hours away and I'm going to marry him. Yeah, him. So we talk for a little while, catch up on all the nothing that has happened in our lives. That was kinda cool. He may come visit me sometime soon. Or not so soon. We'll see. But after I got off the phone with him I called WJJO and requested a song (Fever for the Flavor). The DJ was Oz and he was just talking with P and I, well, more like trying to get us to have sex. "there's nothing hotter than girl-on-girl action". Right....umm, no? But we talked for awhile and I got to give advice and whatnot to some people who called in. I felt pretty special (ed). But then it was really cool because he played the song I requested and before he did he said something like "this is fever for the flavor for Kelly and P. I'm trying to get them to do some girl-on-girl action but they're at a party right now with a bunch of gay guys. You know they'd be all 'stop it thats soooo gross' so maybe they should wait for a worthy audience. Anyway, this is for Kelly and P." So that was totally worth it. The whole time he was saying that, I was laughing and pointing at the guys. They were laughing too.

Shamiqua, Too-tall Matt and Joey left. Someone came and picked them up. They missed out on a fun time.

So most of the night was spent pretty drunk. And kinda stoned. It was fun. I didn't feel drunk unless I tried to walk. Then I couldn't move. But the thing is if I stopped moving, everything else moved. So yeah, I was pretty drunk. But I was still sober enough to be President 4 times while playing asshole. I was finally asshole and then we all quit. Horray for me.

Shawn drank a lot. When he snuck away to the bathroom, I figured he was sick. So I gave him a few minutes and then went in there. I told him I was going to hold his hair. Really I just sat with him and made sure he was ok. When he was done, I took him to his bed and got him a glass of water. Then Beppo called. I was shocked. I had called him earlier to talk. I left a message and didn't expect him to call back. So Kasey and I went downstairs. I laid on a couch and talked to Beppo. Kasey got the pillows off the couch and laid on the floor. Eventually we both just passed out. Me first tho, cause she was pretty much sober.

Friday - The we both woke up at 9:30. Kinda early. But we went upstair cause it was freezing. Poor Kasey. I at least had a blanket. She had my sweatshirt, her sweatshirt and I don't even know what else. Everyone else kinda woke up while we were there. We sat and talked a little bit, trying to remember things from the night before. I looked at my text messages and this is what I had:

To SD at 10:
So high hi! yo Sha! Gurll, id do it for the dj! Bottom of bottle. Beard ladies in case u wondered? Babysitter!
To Crusty Monkey at 10:26:
It's J-Lo. "dude it's a sprite commercial!"
To Crusty Monkey at 10:52:
Ya know what? I almost fell? Ya know what else? I forgot. Peanut. I don't uoerstand
To Joey at 10:53:
Uv got the biggest peanut butter ive eva seen!
To Crusty Monkey at 12:11:
If i stop moving evfsything eles moves
From Crusty Monkey at at 12:20:
Do you start moving when everything stops moving
To Crusty Monkey at 12:16:
U totally understand! Little mermaid=fun sing along!
To Crusty Monkey at 12:22:
Ahhhh? U cried i wiped away all ur tears. 6 ft taco w/ double ds
From Crusty Monkey at 12:26:
KISS THE GIRL! SHA-LA-LA-LA
From Crusty Monkey at 12:28:
Do i help them? YES I DO!
From Crusty Monkey at 12:32:
Sweatpants-Burrito Supreme and ball-sack lunch
To Crusty Monkey at 12:32:
How it could have disapeared like that . Stupid pot. I just spit all over u

So yeah, that's how that went. We drove on over to McDonalds for food. Too late for breakfast of course. But we got lunch and yum. Goody! The drive on over to my house. Shawn had an interview for a restaurant/resort so Matt hung out with us while Shawn did his thing. Crusty Monkey came over and tried to get us to go to the lake. Instead, we sat out in my front yard and played erf. I did better than I did before, but I still really suck. And am a bad loser. So that was ended. Matt and I played catch. I was blowing the seeds off a dandelion at one time and Matt threw the ball. It hit me right above my knee. If it had hit my knee, I would have screamed. Loudly.

Oh well. We get back, Crusty leaves right away to go tanning. I take a shower. While I'm there Shawn gets back. We talk for a bit and then he and Matt leaves. I say goodbye to my parents as they are camping this weekend and say hello to my aunt Gwen who will be taking care of the animals.

C, P and I have class the next day (sat) in Milwaukee. I listen to the phone messages and C is talking about how she isn't going to be driving tonight. Ok the other day I offered to drive if she didn't want to. If I was going to be driving I would have gotten the oil changed on my car and did the all the proper before-road-trip things to my car. But then I had about 15 minutes to do all this shit all the sudden. So I got pissed off. Well, that and I hate driving, we don't really know where we're going, I had barely slept the night before and was just getting a hangover. Oh well. So C gets there and we leave. Then no one talks to me. Seriously, no one. I was a lot ticked. Cause I was falling asleep. Ok, you would think these people knew me a little better. I get into a better mood by talking. I wake up by talking. So what do people do? READ!! I was even more fuckin pissed off. So I stopped in Madison for gasoline and a bit of food. The girl whose house we were going to stay at calls and says that the 4 of us can't all stay there. P wanted to get a hotel room in Milwaukee. I just wanted to stay in Madison and sleep. So we called around. Starting with Levi, then Clay, then Joey, finally we got ahold of Christian. He said it would be just fine! We met him at the mall and then we all drove over to his house. It was great. We watched Van Wilder and got pizza. The pizza tasted a little funny, but ya know...what can ya do? P and I had an excellent talk before bed.

Saturday - We woke up at 6. Got ready. Woke Christian up with our lovely kisses to say goodbye. Left at 7. Stopped at McDonalds. Yummy! Then was on our way. We found the place super easily. Spent the day learning about fake ids, driving under the influence and how to make sour drinks. We spent about an hour practicing at the end. It was fun. The "teacher" was a bit distracting. He was a cutie. Not hot, but still good looking and funny.

We drove back to my house. The plan was to have a campfire. But I could get ahold of no one. Seriously, there was no answer at Shawn's, Christian's voice mail said he was out of town for the weekend, Crusty Monkey was at work, Stephy was busy, Levi didn't answer...pretty much anyone I called was busy/gone. So...yeah. Kasey, C and I were just going to have one for us, but I crashed. I fell asleep on the floor in the living room while we were all watching Sex talk with Sue/talking. Soft core porn had just started and the girls were all laughing and making fun of Kasey for wanting to watch it! But I was totally passed out. I woke up after a bit and moved to my bed. P went to the bar. C went home. And Kasey watch Maury (which is what she really wanted to watch, not BLISS).

Sunday - I woke up at 9:30, 9:31, 9:32, 9:33, 9:37, 9:41 and 11:30 or so. I actually got up at 11:30 tho. I made pancakes. Really good pancakes. P tokes care of her army stuff on the living room floor and I made our bartending flash cards. Kasey hung out and talked with us. I know we all said a lot of funny things, but I don't know what. Crusty Monkey calls and wants us to go hang out where there are a lot of people due to tourist season starting. We decline, with a lot of stuff to accomplish. I take my aunt to Walmart and end up buying a lot of stuff. I don't know how it ended up costing me $50, but yeah...it did. I got a new shirt ($7), two new belt buckles ($4), 3 pairs of underware (each $.50, strange strange underware), a new bra ($2), cream cheese ($3) and not much else. So yeah...gonna have to look at that receipt.

D ended up coming over. Remember her? Well, she was my best friend from 15 until 18. Then we kinda grew apart. She became a mother and a gamer. I became a working stiff and fruit fly. But I got to see my godson! He's so cute. I love that baby. 8 months now. Anyway, D and I talk and play catch. We say we need to hang out more instead of just saying that. She doesn't have a phone tho so that makes it a little more difficult. We also only live 4 blocks away.

So the four of us all hang out downstairs for a bit. I get tired. So I say goodnight to everyone and take a shower. I'm almost in bed when the phone rings. It's my sister wanting to know if I want to come over. There's going to be a little smoke-a-thon and I'm invited. WooHoo, but no, it's time to sleep. So she says she'll call me back in a bit. I say ok and fall asleep. The phone rings later and it's her. We talk for a half hour or something, all the while I'm falling asleep. Finally I can fall asleep!

Today (Monday) - I wake up when what I think is the alarm going off, I try to hit snooze but it doesn't work. Then I realize it's my phone ringing. So I answer it. Shawn had to call me up to tell me that we're going to make a band. C is going to be the drummer, I'm going to play bass (YES!!!!!) and sing (NOOO!!!!), P is going to play guitar and sing and he's going to sing and play piano/keyboard. I try to talk him out of making me sing, but he's not havin it. It's kinda funny how he thinks this is a new idea to us when we've been talking about it for a long time. So maybe I'll finally stop talking about it and actually do it. I hope so. So it's 4:59 in the morning. We talk for a half hour or something and then I go back to sleep, only to wake up at 7 and come to work. SUCKY! But there isn't anyone here due to the fact that it's Memorial Day. I however, took Friday off instead. Big deal. This worked out better for me anyway.

Thursday, May 22, 2003

I woke up in a just fine mood this morning. A little impatient, but still generally ok. And have been that way since. But I'm just so tired! I don't know why. Well, one night of sleeping doesn't exactly make up for all the sleep I've lost. Oh well. But I'm just tired and a little cranky now. I'm so sick of having to work while all my friends go have fun. My sister called me up at work and said that she stole P and Kasey and they're at the bar now. It makes me really upset to know that I'm wasting my time here when I could be spending more time with Kasey until she has to leave. Phil said he'd sign a sheet for me if I wanted to take a vaction, but I really can't afford it. Someday tho....

Another thing I'm really sick of is shy guys. Or guys that will hit on me, and then not do anything about it. And why aren't more guys hitting one me? Oh yeah, cause all the guys I hang out with are GAY! And that's a lie, they do hit on me...the reason they aren't doing anything about it is because they like men. Not fair. They tease and they play, but it's all for their amusement. I feel really bad for doing it to various guys now. But back to straight men...come on! I'm cute, funny and nice. What's the problem? The only guy that's asked me for my phone number recently was a 17 year old kid from some tiny town in the middle of bfe. So, why?

Will Brandon Boyd just come and tell me I'm the only one for him...please?

So yesterday started out bad and stayed that way. P called me at work and said that they wanted to go to a movie. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go, but I gave them all the movie times. Then finally agreed to go, the Matrix at 6. Well, we planned to meet at Kitchen at 5. I got off work, called Shawn and drove on down there, they weren't there yet. Ok, since I work a block away I figured it was a big deal. Five minutes later I called home and asked when they left. My dad said "about two minutes ago". I freaked out a little bit. I'm impatient. EVERYONE who knows me knows this. I called Shawn back and talked to him for a little while. He was telling me about his day that he spent just relaxing in bed, reading and sleeping. I thought about how much my day sucked already. Then I saw them at the stoplight at 5:23. Shawn and I hung up and I tried to not be too pissed off. But I was. No hiding it. I was broke, starving and didn't have any money or ATM card. So I had to go to Walmart and write a check for over the amount. Oh yeah, I also didn't have my id. So when the cashier asked for it and I didn't have it, she needed to talk to her supervisor. Well after waiting for 5 minutes I told her to just forget it, cancel it out and give me my check back. She didn't know how to do that. So I stood there another 5 fucking minutes until the guy got there and told her that no, they couldn't take my check without id. Well duh, we established that already fuckface. As soon as he gave me my check I walked away trying not to cry. He called after me that it was store policy. Fuck that. Is it also store policy to train your fuckin cashiers? Is it also store policy to take 10 fucking minutes to help a customer? Fuck you.

So I walked around the parking lot for a minute or two until P comes out and gives me a hug. I started crying a bit. I informed her that no, I would not be attending the movie that evening, but I would drop them off and Crusty Monkey could give them a ride back to their car. So I drove them over there and send my appologies to Crusty Monkey for inviting him and then not showing up.

I drove home crying pretty much the whole way. Other people would turn to look at me and I would laugh at them, that was kinda cool, but in general, I just felt like crap. I was still hungry when I got home, so I wandered around the kitchen. When I didn't find anything I wanted to eat or make I started crying again. That was pretty funny too. I just gave up and went to bed. I slept for about a half hour when my dad came in and asked a couple of questions. I mentioned Chineese food, he said he would pay if I called it in. I said I wasn't moving or talking to anyone. After 10 minutes I got up and went to talk to him and my mom. I told them a little bit about my day and cried a bit more. (Like I hadn't enough already.) I went back to bed again, listened to my new cd (audiovent, pretty good) and then fell asleep. I woke up for 15 minutes at 8 to eat. Then slept again until 9. P came and woke me up. We all went downstairs to watch South Park...it was a rerun. Oh well. I talked on the phone with a couple of people and then went to sleep at 11:30

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

I remembered what one of my thoughts was while in the car. Not one of the strange ones, but just a thought. I was just so content. I had four of the greatest friends I've had in my life with me. And they would never have ever met if I hadn't introduced them. It's just a great feeling to know that something good, like friendship, happened because of you.

What a hellish day this has already been. Seriously, I woke up late, looking like crap with wet hair and then had to run out to my car. A train was blocking the way I normally go, traffic was bad were I ended up going and I had to take a detour anyway for construction. It was only by pure lucky (and a lead foot) that I got to work on time.

I got off work at 3 yesterday. Went home and changed. C drove P, Kasey and I to Shawn's. I opened my MRE that P got me from drill. It looked like fun, I only at the shortbread cookies, but damn, I was so hyper. I don't think it was the cookies really, but C said she had the brownie from her's earlier and it made her wired too. But I was talking to myself and not ever realizing it. It was pretty funny.

From Shawn's we all piled into his car. I was the navigator and we found the place relatively easy. We only made one wrong turn and that's because of the stupid directions we had. We managed to make it up. But Parking in Milwaukee...damn. $17. I'm so used to $4 parking in Madison. I even asked the guy if he was kidding when he said that. He assured me he was not and then I gave him the money. Ouch. I was down to $11. Couldn't even get a t-shirt now.

We get all frisked and then go inside. Stand in line by the bar for an hour. Then move into the concert hall and stand waiting for another hour. First band up was Reach 454. They're from New York and I liked them, except for a chorus in almost every song, they repeated the same 5 words. I don't mean every song had the same five words, but it would be like "take me or leave me, take me or leave me" something like that. Second band was 12 Stones. They rocked my world. I really enjoyed watching them...especially the bassist. It is my opinion that the bassist/bass player is the coolest member of the band (I wish to be that someday). But he was really cool.

During these two bands, I was getting shoved around by these little girls standing next to me. I say little because they were all 5"5' or less. As old as me, just little. I ended up nex to this really cute guy. 12 stones threw a water bottle out into the crowd for people to drink, he had it and let me have some as long as he could have the bottle. Whatever, I was just thirsty. So we started talking a little bit. A girl from behind us starts talking to us too and then a guy next to us. So we're having this little pow wow. It was neato. Then I found out the cute guy was 16 (Kevin), the girl was 18 (still in school, dunno her name) and the other guy was 17 (Joe). Wow.

Someone tapped my shoulder and I look, there's this guy pointing at P who is trying to say hi from up next to the fence! What? Not fair. She was trying to pull me up sorta, but no one was havin that. The next band started, I was in a bad spot and they really sucked. So I found C and asked if she wanted to go get water. She agreed and off we went. We passed Kasey so we picked her up too! We got our water and then went upstairs to look at mOrchindise. There was a cool 12 stones shirt I wanted but it was only in XL and I dislike wearing shirts that will be too big (I should have tho). So Kasey and I got the same shirt. We're cool. I actually had two people ask about the shirt I was wearing (the Joe Mamma one). I had fun.

We went back downstairs and kind merged back into the crowd. Didn't get to go far. But that's ok. Evanesence came out and everyone went crazy. It was great. Amy was wearing a fairy dress and wings with striped tights. I just loved it. Then Joe came up to me and we talked a bit. I was talking, but also just watching and listening and singing and dancing...it was great. Amy is just the most beautiful singer and person. But Joe ends up getting my number and then when Evanesence is finished he gives me his bracelet and says he'll call. Ok, sure, whatever.

C, Kase and I couldn't find P and Shawn and the plan was to meet at the car. We go to it, take a seat on the ground and wave at random people driving by. Some were cool, others were not. We waited for 10 minutes or so when P walks up and yells to us that we're "fuckin' idiots" and "we're going to wait to meet them". So we walk all the way back (oh golly a whole block) and stand in line. The guys from 12 Stones come out and we meet them. The lead singer is Paul, he's a cutie, I'd jump his bones. P and I talked to him for a little while. Then off to the bassist. Wowo. He was talking to some other chicks, but I pulled out a cigarette and asked if he had a light, it was smooth. He lit is and then started talking to us. Kevin explained the difference between bass player and a bassist. He is a bassist. (I wish to be one.) Then the lead guitar, Aaron actually signed my Evanesence ummm, play bill thingy? I had just gotten it or I would have had Paul and Kevin sign it too. Oh well. Then back to the line. P and I had fun, Shawn and C froze their asses off and Kasey took turns laughing at all of us. P and I were singing Nos and dancing. Well, singing and dancing and jumping and talking to random people. I saw the girl that I had talked to earlier that night and she gave me and Shawn both a sticker. YAY! An actual Evanesence sticker. It took a while and we froze while waiting, but Amy came out and signed stuff. She signed both my play bill thingy and my sticker. It was exciting. Shawn was freaking out because he got to hug her.

We left, got back on the interstate and drove the hour and a half back to Shawn's. I fell asleep in Shawn's car first and then in C's car. I'm so glad C drove to Shawn's cause there was no way I could have driven. The strange thing is I remember listening to all the songs on the cd we were listening to, but all the sudden it was the beginning and I thought someone had changed it and I was pissed. Too tired to say anything, but mad. I also had some really strange thoughts and thinking they were strange thoughts, but I don't remember what they were.

Two people called while we were in the car, but my phone put them to voice mail for some reason. Levi called to ask about the concert and say the reason he didn't go was because I didn't call him. He told me he would call me back on Sunday and he sounded pissed off so I didn't dare call him first. Come on. He could have called me too. Then in C's car, Shawn called just to say Goodnight and that he loved me. What a sweetie.

I took a shower and went to bed. I was asleep around 3:45 only to wake up at 7:23. That sucks. So tonight, guess who's crashing early? That's right, me! I feel better after typing this, but I'm still crabby as all hell, so watch out.

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

Well...what a shitty morning.

Last night after I got off work, I called Shawn as per his request. No one answered. When I got home, P and I called the apartments that we were supposed to go see last night, but the lady/man didn't remember saying that he/she would show us them last night. So we said fuck it we'll do it on Wednesday. Crusty Monkey called and I told him the plan of going out to eat and then watching Requiem for a Dream (he has always been the one to suggest it, we hadn't seen it). Shawn called and I talked to him for 15 minutes while he got ready, then he drove over. Before he got there, P, C, Kasey and I all ate. I wrote some funny funny poetry on Kasey's computer whilest they were watching French Kiss or something else with Meg Ryan and Kevin Kline. Oh well, off to the restaurant.

Once there, I requested we be seated in the same-server-that-we-had-last-week's section. He was training a new girl and so didn't get to spend a whole lot of time visiting with us like last time. Too bad. We had dessert and then played some trivia. We paid and left at least $4. It was prolly more tho cause I left $2 and P left $2...I'm pretty sure C left something. But when we were outside smoking our server came out with P's purse and when talking to P and I, he said he was disapointed. There was only $2 on the table when they got to it. So feeling bad for the new girl P and I both each gave another $2. I have no problem with it, but still, where did the money go?

Oh well. Crusty Monkey was going to go home, but P and I talked him into coming and watching the movie with us. I'm so glad he did. We watched it in my room and there was P, Crusty Monkey, Shawn and me on the bed and then Kasey and C on the floor. The movie, Requiem for a Dream, was one of the best I've seen in my life. If ever a movie really affects my actions, that's it right there. Shawn was trying to play while it was on, but I completely ignored him. I must have told him to shut up like 6 times. I felt bad afterwards, but come on. I was totally engrossed. I had tears down my cheeks the last five minutes but didn't start really crying until it was done. Then I couldn't stop. Shawn had to leave right away to go to work, C left to go to bed so she could work this morning and then Kasey went out into the living room. Crusty Monkey, P and I just laid on my bed, not talking for a little while and then not shutting up. I teared up on and off for the next hour. But we had an excellent conversation while smoking out in the garage. (That's right, I risked smoking in my garage. It just seemed so petty to try and hide it.)

One of my biggest fears has always been that I will get older and end up alone. Friends are great and all that, but they don't need you like a family needs you. So having a family starts with finding someone to love. I'm 18 and shouldn't be worried about that yet, but still I am. Watching Sara in the movie last night . . . Totally made me think. I don't want to ruin it for anyone, but you just don't think about how it all started. I've always just assumed that most people, where she ends up, has been like that their whole life. It's just not right.

Another one of my fears is when I move out that I'm going to get way more into drugs. I've done a couple...a couple bad ones. But I just kept thinking to myself last night, I'm so glad I've never done heroin. So when I move out, I'm going to have to watch myself, cause watching them stoned was like watching me and P. Scary thought.

If you haven't seen this movie, I beg of you, go out and rent it. If you have a soul, you will be touched.

Crusty Monkey asked if he could stay the night and I said sure. I took a shower and then went to bed. 20 minutes later in came Crusty Monkey, we cuddled and fell asleep. Then about a half hour later in comes P. I have a full sized bed. I think so anyway. Two people it's ok, but three is a little hard. Not to mention that Crusty was sick and kept sneezing and coughing. So I didn't get to sleep until later and then I woke up a lot.

I got up this morning and got ready. Then realized I couldn't find my keys. I woke Crusty up so he could go to work and then resumed looking for my keys. No dice. So my dad let me borrow his truck and just drop him off at work. I was super late, but I had called and told them I would be. The tickets for Evanescence are in my glove compartment. So if my mother/P/whoever don't find them by 9:15, I told them to call a locksmith. We're going tonight and that's final. If I have to break a window in, we will get those tickets...and driving directions.

Monday, May 19, 2003

Yay - other blog snoogins is on recently updated list!!

Friday - I got off work and went home. C came over. We went to the lake and played hack. Saw a couple of guys I used to work with...I don't like having an audience. We went back to my house and prolly watched some tv. Then started a big ol' campfire in the backyard. Actually, C did it cause I gave up on the wet wood. But once that was burning merrily away, we took a trip to Wal-mart for junk food. Crusty Monkey called and I talked him into coming over. It wasn't that hard. We roasted marshmAllows and pringles. Crusty curled up on my lap. We gave up eventually and went inside. Shawn was supposed to be over at 12, but didn't get there until 3. By then C had went home and Crusty Monkey and I were taking a nap. Shawn was high and didn't want to go to sleep, so we went to Kitchen. Smoked up on the way. Be careful and watch out for MONSTER DEER!!! Once there I ordered what I found to be nirvana! This was seriously the best thing I've ever put in my mouth my entire life. Milkey Way Cake. I can't even talk about it. Wowo. Another one of the funny moments was when Crusty looked at me dead in the eye and says in a slighty pissed off and determined voice "I'm Afraid. Of food."

Shawn was supposed to stay the night but Crusty did instead. We laid down, talked for 2 minutes and then fell asleep.

Saturday - Crusty and I woke up at a quarter to 10 when his phone rang. It was his mom making sure he was awake and coming over. They had a funeral to go to. So Crusty left and I got up and showered. Drove to the spa, got my sister her gift certificate and then hung out at home. My sister and her boy-toy came over, her not feeling so well after celebrating her 21st from 12 until 3 that morning. We all went to this thing downtown with a bunch of people selling a bunch of crap. Well, some of it's cool, I got a new beltbuckle, but mostly just arts and crafts junk.

I called C when I got home and said we should be taking off soon. She came over and away we went! First stopping off at East Towne Mall in Madison to collect tickets for the lovely Evanescence who will be in Milwaukee tomorrow. Yay! Then off to Levi's. We danced a bit and then left. Picked up Derrick and then went to the airport. We were there right when Kasey's flight was suppposed to be there, but she was there early so when someone walked up out of the corner of my eye and gave me a hug I was a little surprised. But YAY! We were outta there so fast I didn't even have to pay parking.

After that we hung out at Levi's again. Not doing a whole lot. Playing on the computer, reading, eating, talking on the phone....Shawn must have called me like 6 times. He was at work and trying to get info for a resume and also giving me crap for having Kasey come see me. He was all giving me this "I don't know about this, I feel like you're going to be replacing me." He even said "I'll just see you in two weeks" and then hung up on me! I was getting ticked, but he called back laughing. He's such an ass.

Oh well, we headed back a little early so C could sleep before working at 6 or something Sunday. Kasey and I watched some Futurama. That was cool. And Crusty Monkey called at like 11:30 or something. He wanted us to go to Kitchen, I kinda wanted to go, but kinda didn't. So I said we were just going to hang out at my house. He starts this whole "I don't even know why we're friends, you never come see me" thing and I finally give in. I tell him to meet us there in 20 minutes. So we drive on over. We get there, I don't see his car so I call him. He's still at Captain Dix, but "he'll be there soon." We sit down with KJ and talk a little bit. Shawn calls and says he might come over cause his mom and sister are at his house and he doesn't have anywhere to sleep and he's just not happy. But he can't make up his mind because he doesn't have any gas in his car. And he doesn't know if he wants to come because Kasey is there. He wants to call Crusty Monkey to see if he'll come pick him up because he wants to hang out with him too tonight. So he calls Crusty Monkey as he's walking in the door to Kitchen (after another half hour). Crusty talks him into coming. They hang up. Shawn calls me. He says he's taking $20 from his grandma for gas (leaving her a note of course) and then has to put his clothes in the dryer. I didn't want to be out much later so I said I'd take his clothes and dry them at my house. So he gets there. We all hang out. We talk and laugh and whatnot. Finally at 2:30 I'm ready to go. So we say our goodbyes and leave. We got on A and then had to go back for Shawn's clothes. Kase and I slept in the basement and totally passed out.

Saturday - Mischelle woke us up to come eat breakfast. If Kase hadn't gotten up I never would have. But right after breakfast while sitting around the table, drugs or something somehow came up. I hate it when that happens. But my mom decides to ask me if I've ever tried smoking pot. My dad comes in with "well of course she has. The funniest part is she tries to hide it." Which of course I knew he knew, I just didn't really want to bring it up. So I know there is going to be more conversations on such sometime soon. Goody. It's just strange for my parents to know. I wonder if I can get away with smoking in the backyard now.

Crusty Monkey calls after breakfast and says they're going to be over soon. Kasey and I change and get to lookin purty. Shawn and Crusty Moneky show up. Shawn and I go to the basement to see if his clothes are dry. They aren't so we cuddle on the bed and he sees I'm not that happy so he has to make me feel better. He tells me all sorts of stuff including: Crusty is really big, I'm the best cuddler ever and even Crusty Monkey thinks so, he's sorry he gives me so much shit and how I'm the greatest friend ever. I was just ticked about how he was giving me crap for having Kasey come visit me and then just being twofaced and being a totally sweet guy to her. He doesn't need to be giving me shit about Kasey. She's been my friend since 5th grade damn it!!!! That's a friendship with a history. Oh well...moving on. We go out to Captain Dix and Shawn applies. He gets a little interview, but he's pretty much hired. The guy and I talk a little bit. About advertising of course.

After that, Shawn drops us off at Crusty Monkey's. He changes and gets all his crap together and we got to my house. I tell my parents happy anniversary again and that I'll see them later. Then Jake, Kasey and I head off to Madison. I called Levi on the way because Saturday he said he would be coming up on Sunday and I just wanted to give him the heads up that we weren't going to be there. He answers the phone "hi kelly" in the most depressed and annoyed voice ever. I get to say hello, but he comes in with "can I call you back later?" Then I get to say "sure" but he already hung up. I know he isn't going to call me back, so I call Joey. I ask if he and Matt want to go to state street with us. We were going to pick them up but after bad directions and getting lost in the country, we asked if they would meet us there.

Urban Outfitters is the coolest store. I love it! Too bad I'm too poor to afford anything. Well, that's a lie. I did get an ID case. It's really a cigarette holder but...ya know. They're about the same thing. Matt and Joey show up...we decide to eat at Chin's Asian Food Restaurant. Yummy. Teryaki Udon Noodles. They looked like worms and tasted like barbequed pot. It was different.

After that we went back to Matt and Joey's and played Mario Cart. I got third place or something. I don't recall.

Crusty Monkey drove us home. I took a shower. We watched South Park and passed out. Good times.

Saturday, May 17, 2003

KASEY IS HERE!!!!

Friday, May 16, 2003

Yay, I had a yummy lunch and I didn't even have to pay for it. That's what I'm talkin about! Too bad the fake bacon tasted all nasty. And soy chocolate milk isn't all that great. But otherwise it was super!

In other news, I'm the best sister ever. I'm getting my sister a gift certificate to the spa for her birthday. She's gonna need it after drinking a ton this weekend. Happy 21st Mischelle.

I got to see P's hair last night. All styled and everything...I'm gonna have to say I did a wonderful job. Oh I guess I didn't say anything about it, but I dyed her hair red and then put in highlights. That was fun. I was so scared I was going to mess up, but I guess I should know that I rock at things hair/dye related. I've done P's hair so many times and so many colors. My favorite was when I did her hair two different colors of purple. It looked really good (for purple hair anyway). But horray.

Shawn came over and brought a new guy. We'll call him...Rob. Well, I've talked to Rob a little bit before. Not much, but enough to wonder why Shawn was hanging out with him. Oh well, P, Rob, Shawn and I all walked down to the park by my house and played some hack. There was a really cute guy playing basketball, but he left after a little bit. C called and said she was on her way. My mom called and said the guy we want to rent an apartment from had called, so I called him back. He was thinking about whether he was going to consider us or not because P doesn't have a job. Well, he will, but the lease is going to be in my name and my dad is going to have to co-sign. Which I think is fine with me.

But after we got that call, I got motivated to find P a job. I've been filling out applications for her because she has really bad handwriting. So we dropped a bunch off and I filled out some more on the way. That was fun, bouncing around in the car...anyway, she got an interview at one hotel while we were there so C and I played checkers. Funn times! Neither of us had played in years, so it was interesting. We didn't get to finish tho...she prolly would have won, but don't tell her I said so.

After that I was tired and wanted to sleep. So C tooks us all back. Shawn and Rob left. P started packing and C kinda hung out. [Am I eating an onion bagel] I took a shower and said my goodbyes to the girls. I gave them both "real" hugs. What is that from? I remember someone hugging the crap outta someone else and then saying it was a "real" hug. Am I going crazy? [prolly]

I then I went to bed. Apparently my phone rang cause all the sudden I'm awake and on the phone. It was Shawn. He missed me and just wanted to talk. He tried to get me to come over, but I wasn't havin it. I told him to come over, but he wasn't havin it. So we talked on the phone for an hour. From 12:30 until 1:30. We talked about a lot of things...but mostly about how great it was that we were friends, how cool it is that we're close and little things we like about each other. It was so funny. I was so close to falling asleep a couple of times and he yelled at me. Then right before we hung up, he was falling asleep. So we said goodbye and I love you like six times before we finally hung up. I fell right back asleep. Woke up this morning to White Christmas. Switched it to WJJO and then went back to sleep. I got up late and then got to work late. Oh well. It's supposed to be a Coffee Friday, but I was really late. 15 minutes late, and that's late.

So now here I am...bored. I have work to do, but I'm also answering the phones today cause the receptionist's grandfather died. That sucks so bad. But then the backup person who answers phones is gone too. So here I am, playing secretary. I feel more sexy already.

Thursday, May 15, 2003

Oh my goodness I completely forgot the most exciting news of all. I was sitting there talking with C and P when the phone rings. It was for P so I'm a little silly and ask out loud if P was there. She wouldn't get up to get the phone and I wasn't getting up. She asked who it was as she reached for it, so I took the phone back and asked. The guy was a little rude and said she just needed to get off her butt and answer the phone. Temper, temper. I handed it to her. It was a buddy (Winky) from basic or AIT or something...anyway P was kinda talking about me (cause I'm her roommate and just about the most fun person she knows!) when she says "Yeah, she the one in love with Tantric" then she turns and says to me "Hugo says Hi". Winky is a dj or something and has been really close friends with Hugo for a long time. Anyway YAY!!! I silently freak out, the calmly says "Oh, tell him I said hey." Then I proceed to go into the kitchen and silently freak out some more! I mean come on. I know I'll prolly never really meet him and never get a chance to cultivate a friendship or anything...but hey, how often does that happen?

Damn I hurt. The other night coming home from the club...I guess I forgot to mention that P and I sang RENT at the top of our lungs the whole way. I was trying to lose my voice so I didn't have to proof yesterday...but it didn't work. However, it feels like crap today! I'm so excited!!!

Fuck. This sucks.

So anyway. Last night I was walking around Walmart doing some shopping with C and P when my phone rings. I look at the number and think for a second. Then I say Crystal XXXX!! as I answer the phone. She replies with Kelly XXXX!! She called to say she had gotten a larger than normal paycheck so she wanted to come visit me this weekend! YAY!!!! So P will be gone, but Kasey will be here and C will be here and I'm betting we'll see Levi in Madison sometime. This is so great tho! I've been friends with Crystal since frickin grade school...young grade school. And I've been friends with Kasey since 5th grade.

I guess I didn't talk about when I went out driving (driving is really delivering, normally office people don't even touch the trucks/vans, but because it was my book, a co-worker and I got to go take books to different hotels and businesses). Well, the first guy who drove me around was the co-worker-that-I-was-with's boyfriend. We mostly talked about cartoons, cars and funny movies. We slacked a bunch and even got lost somewhere out in the country.

The second guy I that drove me around was BOB! Originally was supposed to go with this other guy, but BOB had fucked up his knee earlier, so driving me around would be pretty easy. The first thing we talked about was how we don't normally talk a lot at work because everyone sucks and there is no point. Then we talked the rest of the day...about drugs and how if they started drug testing most of the drivers and myself would be gone, movies and whatever we felt like. It was a good time. He and jonk are supposed to take me to the bar sometime cause I shouldn't have a problem getting served if I'm with them. YAY! I was really hoping he would be the one to drive me around the next day too, but the third guy decided that BOB was faking it and needed to do his route again.

So the third guy was a quiet guy I've never really talked to. We still had fun. I was pretty quiet. We slacked a bit. We checked out the new spa in town and then the huge waterpark our boss is a co-owner of. We can go swimming ALL FOR FREE!!!

Then the co-worker and I went out in a car. An old station wagon. I got to drive the whole time. It was fun. I kept imagining what I looked like driving the family groccery-go-getter.

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

Wow O. Last night...hmmm.

I got home and P informed me that C had called and would not be attending the Club this particular evening because she had to study for finals. I had kinda guessed that would happen but was still holding out a little hope that she would still go. P and I left around 6. I wore my new shirt! It's green and in yellow on the front it says "JOE" and on the back it says "Momma". Anyway, we were talking about meeting both Crusty Monkey and Shawn but ended up not seeing either. Instead we did what was planned and went to Joey's. We hung out with Clay for a little bit, that was fun. I hardly see him! And he wasn't going to the club either! What's up with these people?

P and I were hungry so we decided we needed to go to Noodles & Co. We had to wait for Joey to hurry up and get ready tho. He was a little slow this time due to the fact that he made 8 trays of jello shots. But off we went. We had a lot of fun eating. My mac and cheese was super cheesey! Not that I like that or anything. I really don't actually.

Later...at the club. Lots of people. Of course, it's was the night of the Wet Boxer Contest! Shawn, Crusty Monkey, Aaron and Josh all signed up. Well, Josh didn't really sign up...he got signed up. Aaron and Crusty Monkey went all the way to the finals. Crusty actually got second or third, I never knew which. But all my boys looked great.

Oh I got pissed off last night. Fuckin ready to stomp this fake bitch. If you remember a while ago I was talking about this other huge faghag that used to hang out with both Shawn and Crusty Monkey...well Crusty was standing there talking to P and I when she walks up, grabs him and pulls him away. P turns to me all pissed off and says "She didn't even cheer for him, she cheered for the guy that won." Well, no. That's not cool. So Foxy H can just piss off for all I care.

It was kinda boring actually. My guys were up first and then it just lasted and lasted and lasted. So Jacob and I actually danced a bit behind all the people crowed to see the show. It was fun. Ryan was there and he had a boyfriend by the end of the night...a cute one too. He said he'd be more that happy to take us to Chicago...which Levi was always supposed to do but hasn't yet. I'm thinkin Friday the 23rd. I don't work! YAY! But yeah.

By the end of the night I was getting really tired. I hadn't danced a lot and I think that was part of it. But I was tired until I went outside and Levi had pulled his car around with his nice system thumpin. P, Shawn, Boy-Cody, Jason, Levi, a couple other people and I were all having a blast dancing in the parking lot. Seriously, it was great. Shawn turned to me and said "This is for you" and then danced the little routine thingy that he's supposed to be teaching me.

Then I followed Levi and Crusty Monkey followed me and we went to Joey's for the afterbar. The drive was the best frickin time in the world. P and I were totally jamming to Salt n' Peppa's None of Your Business. Like...it was insane. Then we listened to the first couple of songs on RENT. It was great.

At the afterbar, we talked to the important people. Too-Tall walked up to me and said "We've been here for how long 10 minutes and I've had 13 jello shots can I hold your boob?" I said he could any time he wanted. P and I smoked a cigarette and then tried to leave...it took about 10 minutes. I made some new friends in the time that P was saying good bye to everyone else. Like this really hot drag queen...wow. She looks better than I do. And Jailbait J. I've heard of him before, he's 16 and fun to talk to. Aaron also gave me a goodbye present. A fuckin bruise on my boob cause he bit me three times really hard. P got one too.

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

Why is no one who supposedly is my bestest friends in the world calling me? Well, that's a lie...Shawn calls me all the time and I live with P....so where are C and L?

As Yoda might say, "Disapeared they are."

Monday, May 12, 2003

Will be in a truck for the next couple of days...sorry, no blog for it.

But I will say I had a shit-ton of fun out delivering books today...I wish this guy was single...

Friday - That party thing on campus was a ton of fun. I saw a bunch of people I knew, even if they didn't recognize me. P and I left and came back so we could smoke. It was pretty freaky how many people I knew from when I was a lifeguard. The bands rocked. Well...a couple of the bands rocked. At least one really sucked...but oh well.

Shawn called at Midnight and said he was on his way to my house. I met him there, packed some clothes and we went to his house. We had a ton of fun. He was going to teach me some dance stuff, but I was much too lazy. I did about three moves and then laid down again. I passed out before he did, but apparently he asked me if I wanted sherbet. I said no. He offered to get if for me and I guess I said to get me a bowl. He did. A huge feckin bowl. I had three scoops and he had four. After we shoved that in our faces we went to sleep. And slept...and slept...and slept.

Saturday - I woke up at 11 when P called. She told me about her night and I told her about mine. She kept telling me to come home and I kept telling her to come over. Neither of us would move. I tried to wake Shawn up, but that wasn't happening. So I rolled over and went back to sleep. YAY! The alarm went off at 12. It got turned off. We finally woke up at 2 or something...maybe even three. Listened to more music and tried to motivate ourselves. P had called and I think Crusty Monkey did too. We stopped on the way back to my house at a truck stop and ate some food. It was really good. And free too. Then on the way to my house. P was so ready to get out...or at least do something cause she was bored. We danced a bit and then went to see X-Men United. It was great! I love Alan Cummings. When we got out the weather was horrible. I called Christian to tell him that P couldn't make it to Madison that night (they were going to go bar hopping). He said they weren't going out either because of the tornados. What? Yeah.

So when we got to my house, I was semi-freaking out. It took a minute or two but I calmed down. Eventually I even went outside with Shawn. P, him and I drove to Amaco and then sat in the car in front of my house (I live on a hill) so we could see the lightening in the distance. It was great. Then Shawn went to work and P and I had an evening together. We watched Legally Blonde, played cards and watched Futurama in French and then Spanish...talking the whole time of course. We got into bed at 4...she feel asleep at 4:30...I got up and got on the computer...I went to sleep at 5:30 or a tad later.

Sunday - Woke up at 1. Didn't really want to get up but I did anyway. I sat with P a bit until she left for her home town. I hung out with my mom. Took a shower...did nothing pretty much. My oldest sister arrived and we chatted about 1 minuted until she got on my X-box. Shawn got there around 5. We hung out in my room, talking and whatever. My other sister wanted us to go see her at Culver's, so I took mom and Shawn and fed them. I'm so nice sometimes...even when I can't afford to be but oh well. The rest of the night was pretty much in my room with Shawn sleeping/talking/cuddling. He left at 11:30 and I tried to go to sleep...but then Shawn called when he got to work and two seconds after I hung up Crusty Monkey called me back. Neither had much to say, but ya know how that goes.

Sunday, May 11, 2003

Once again, am I wrong in saying that something isn't right? I've decided to be as honest as possible reguardless of who may read this. Cause seriously, I'm not happy right now.

C and I...we've been friends for a long time. But now...there is definately something different. Even P said she noticed it. I haven't really gotten to hang out with C one-on-one in a month or more. And when I say, "hey, let's go do something" she can never seem to get away unless P or Shawn will be with me. Her whole attitude towards me has changed. She just seems annoyed now. But when I ask her about it she says everything is gravy. I'm not understanding and I'm not appreciating the remarks I've heard. She's said some stuff in the last couple of days that have hurt. My sincere wish is that she would just talk to me if there is something wrong, cause obviously there is.

At least, now I'm feeling like there is something wrong.

Friday, May 09, 2003

If I die it's because I didn't forward a chain letter Levi sent me. I read it over and then when I deleted it my computer freaked out...so if I die, those things really do work.

It's never perfect...either I care too much or don't care at all.

Example: Both times I went to MN, I missed a Tuesday at the club. Now not that missing a club day is all that dramatic or whatever, but I missed a fun time with my friends. Normally I get depressed and feel totally bad because I know they're off having a great time without me and I can't go because I work. Or at least that's what I did for a little while there. Even while if I was at work and they were at my house or whatever, I got all sad cause when I got there I would feel like I was imposing on their good time. They obviously didn't need me to have a good time so once I got there, they wouldn't have as much fun...which they didn't because I was all sad and depressed and stupid once I did get there. But now...I just don't care. No one has really told me what happened on Tuesday and I don't care. It doesn't mean anything to me when P told me that people missed me. I don't doesn't bother me that I missed a great time or whatever. Which is bad. I mean, I'm happy everyone had such a great time an all, but I really just don't care. And it sucks.

It completely disgusts me that such a little fuckin thing like missing out on a good time used to make me want to cry and now...whatever. It's like there is no such thing as a happy medium right now. I'm sure it's just a thing for the moment and I'll get over it by...tomorrow at the latest. Maybe then there can be balance. But I feel really fucked up right now.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense

"Quality letter today. I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense. My head is...not making sense. But I'm really enjoying typing. It's a lot of fun. Here, let me make up sentences just so I can be typing. The dog can't fly, needs umbrella. I know and she knows....that's how it goes. A calender that has 13 months isn't totally wrong. You can tell this smurf doesn't like the other one cause he's trying to chop off his head with an axe. My little Buttercup, has the sweetest smile. Dear little Buttercup, won't you stay awhile. You and I can settle down in a cottage built for two. Dear Little Buttercup! Sweet little Buttercup. My little Buttercup. I love you. Wouldn't that be funnier if her nickname was Peanut. Then she could be Peanut Butter cup. HAHAHAHA!!! Reeses!"

From a email I sent C this morning.

Last night...Blah! We took more pictures. Shawn picked out a bunch of clothes that we barely touch and we took pictures. Some of them might look good, but I was too high to make anything look good. So we'll see how they turn out. Shawn's and P's might look awesome, but I think I'll just look washed out and high.

Ok moving on. Last night I made everyone leave Shawn's early so I could get home, shower and go to bed. But instead I collasped on my bed and barely moved until this morning. I really didn't want to get up today either. Today sucks. But it's got to get better.

There's a little bit of a party on campus tonight. So...C, P and I are planning on seeing what's going on there. I'm supposed to meet Shawn at midnight at his place of work...but we would have to come to my town anyway so he should just come pick me up. Wait...I can't really get a hold of him...oh well. I'll just meet him.

YAAAWWWWNNNN!!!

Ow. Time for me to sleep.

Thursday, May 08, 2003

Ok a shit-ton of stuff has been going on...but I'll try to remember what happened and when...no promises.

So after we ate and laughed a lot at Denny's, the sun was comming up and it was time for us to lay down and sleep. We hugged our goodbyes and drove into the sunrise. Not really, C and I went to Clay's to take him some food. I didn't get paid for it...but I guess it's not a big deal. (Or at least it wasn't a big deal until I got a bank statement yesterday saying I had overdrafted from my checking account). C and I found our way to Levi's...the sleeping arangements were strange so to avoid hopping into bed right away I went out into the garage...to pass the time I poked some holes in a can...until it started looking like something to smoke out of .... then P got her stuff and we smoked. Picture it: A nicy sunny morning at 7:15 and here's Mir, C, P and I standing around in a circle passing a soda can around...it looked pretty funny...at least to me. When we finished, to get rid of the evidence there was a gutter across the street...I decided to give that mission to Mir. He fuckin pranced down the driveway and across the street...then squealed "MY CAN" when he 'accidently' dropped it into the gutter. Then pranced back up to where we were. C, Mir and I passed out in Levi's roommates bed at 8.

Saturday - woke up at 2. C went home. P, Cutie Jake and I went to State Street. hung out for a couple hours...came home. Shawn and Josh came over later, followed closly by Cutie Jake again. Shawn, Josh, P and I went to Walmart... high. P and I came home and giggled. I'm pretty sure she went to the bar after that but...I dunno, I fell asleep.

Sunday - woke up at 10:30 and got on the computer. Wrote all about this expericence and then it got deleted. Sucky fuckin blogger. Oh well. I was going to get highlights in my hair cause I was bored but the store was closed. Fuck them. Ummm...yeah...I have a really bad memory by now...oh yeah. Levi called and asked if I would go pick up his little sister from their mom's cause there was a huge fight going on. I agreed and P came with. Shawn and Josh came over again and we all went to Cutie Jake's house. Smoked on the way. Cody from (insert strange sounding town here) was there...we can call him Cody2. He was already high too. But we all just kinda chilled. Played some games, looked at some magazines, laughed. Eventually Tarrah, Cody2 and I went on a walk. Not sure why. But we did. Came back...hung out. I needed to go to the store. NEEDED to go to the store. So Cutie Jake was going to let me take his car...but we couldn't find the keys. It took forever, but finally I found them and off P and I went. We got back and sat in the car....we thought it was funny. C walked right past us and didn't even look up.

Eventually P, C, Tarrah and I went back to my house. They all watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I showered and went to sleep. I still haven't seen that movie.

Monday - Work work work. When I got home I was waiting for my parents to be ready to go to my sisters, but C shows up! Pleasant surprise. She brought pictures!!!!!!!!!!!! We look totally hot! I had so much fun doing it and then the pictures were just as great as I hoped they would be...unfortunately, I had to leave. Over at my sisters...we ate and watched wrestling. Shawn called to see what was going on. Nothing really, P was in Madison and I was packing to go to MN again. He said I should come over but Cutie Jake called earlier and wanted to do something. I should have said no to both of them...instead I drove the half hour to Shawn's house to see his new room and hang out with him. Nice nice real nice. Cutie Jake (crusty monkey!) wasn't really happy with me but I think he's over it now. Shawn and I hung out, smoked, talked, looked at pictures. He wants to do his whole wall covered in pictures of P, C, himself and I. I think he might want some of Crystal too, but I don't recall. Then we had the greatest idea of all time. We mixed koolaid with soda. It was great! Then not so great. It wasn't a good idea at all cause it tasted like ass. We drank it anyway. I followed him to work scared outta my mind. I hate driving high. Then to drive when I'm high, tired and on the interstate...not fun. Oh well. I made it home safe...then P wanted to smoke. She peer pressured me into smoking with her...not that it's that hard or anything. We giggled and then fell asleep.

Tuesday - woke up. came to work. went to minnesota. blah. Did nothing work related all day.

Wednesday - woke up. did about an hours worth of work. drove home. I got home at 8:30...just in time for South Park. P and C were already in the basement. I didn't really watch it tho. It was an old one. I called a bunch of people who had called while I was gone. Then watched the new South Park. Beppo called right before I could call him. It was neato. Then I went to pick up Crusty Monkey (cutie jake) and he, P and I went to Kitchen. There wasn't really anything exciting in Kitchen last night. I saw J and things are still a little strange between us. Mike led me to believe that J might just have a touch of homosexuality in him which made me severly depressed for the rest of the night. Why? Why why why why? Seriously if he actually came out some day this would be the 4th or maybe even 5th ex-boyfriend of mine to say he was gay. How fuckin depressing. I just can't get away from the gay community and it sucks so bad sometimes. I love my friends to death! But it's extremely frusterating.

It got a little better later when I got P and Mike to crab walk across Kitchen for me...well, with me cause they would only do it if I did it....so what the hell? I did it. Crusty Monkey/Cutie jake got a picture of it. Hahaha, can't wait to see that one. DORK!

Monday, May 05, 2003

"It's like downtown Baghdad," resident Joe Byrd said of the damage caused by the twisters passing through the town.

This statement filled me with much rage.

Ok it was a good time. Really. I'm just so sick of telling it already.

Friday - The concert rocked my world. The opening band really sucked. I dug one song and it was only the beginning. The lead singer did the thong song shake better than anyone I've seen. They played like hard rock church music cause there was an organ-y type sound going on in the background. The second band Queens of the Stone Age totally rawked! C and I were down in the pit the entire time already and had a frickin blast durring their set. Then in between them and the Peppers I saw a guy who looked familar. I was about to turn to C and tell her that he looked like someone I used to be in love with from k-4th grade, when he turned to me and said:
hotguy: is your last name xxxxx?
me: yeah, how did you know?
hotguy: Katie...no Kelly xxxxx?
me: yeah, oh my gosh! how do I know you?
hotguy: we went to school together...
me: what's your name?
hotguy: Colin xxxx.
me: wow
hotguy: ANNA!!! (his girlfriend was across the crowd a bit_

Disapointing I know. But then I had a hot guy pinned to my body and I forgot all about. Then then Peppers came on...after a half hour. But DIZ-AM!! I don't even know what the first song was cause I got my ass kicked so bad. A guy was holding on to my from the back and helping me out. He was strong! Then inbetween songs he asked me to go get a beer with him. I say I'm only 18, but he says he can get me one anyway. I wasn't interested at all so I told him I needed to find my friend. Which I did! C was somewhere else entirely. But strangely enough, I found her. So we needed to get out of there. We exited the mosh pit during By the Way. Now you wouldn't that it was a song you could mosh to very well, but it is. I'm in pain as we speak. But it was so worth it. C and I went and got a soda and then ran our asses back inside to watch the rest of the show. Lovely. I enjoyed it very much and wish to go see them again someday. Soon hopefully. I take back everything bad I've ever said about the Peppers and them getting softer in their older years. I'm so sorry.

After the concert, I called a bunch of people trying to find out what was going on like I was asked to. No one answered their flippin phones except Clay. But he wasn't a whole lot of help on directions. Eventually we got a hold of Levi and he directed us into getting lost and finding us again. We picked him up somewhere downtown and drove on back to his house. C and I freshened up and changed and then drove on back to the TPS dance. I was so tired! But I danced anyway LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA! (Deana Carter for those who didn't know.)

After the dance, we stood around on the steps trying to decide what to do. Well, they did...I sat down or walked around trying not to listen to people. I guess it was decided to go to an afterbar, so I hopped into C's car with her, Clay and Mir (a new really cool, really hyper, really fun guy). We followed whoever back to Levi's house and then went to the after bar. I met a bunch of cool people who I'll prolly never see again. Too-Tall Matt was really drunk and telling me who exactly he would fuck and who he would give oral pleasure to. Joey wanted to make out with me again but never made it across the room to do it. Cutie Jake got hit on left and right...then his jacket got stolen.

After the afterbar, we stood around on the driveway trying to decide what to do. So we went to Denny's. With Aric, Seth, Mir, P, Cutie Jake and C. That was so much fun. The guys are so funny. And catty.

I'll finish later.

Yesterday I typed out the whole story thing going on....but blogger deleted it. So the story of my concert experience, the TPS dance, the afterbar, the Denny's party and "Special Can" is going to have to wait. But it's worth it.

Friday, May 02, 2003

Just in case you were wondering


...it isn't pleasant to have a sunburn on your ass...

I WANNA BE SEDATED!

Really tho. I think I need it. I am jumping all over the frickin room and it's only 8:42 in the am. Come on people the concert isn't until 7...or something. I think I need to go to my car just to make sure the tickets are still there and what time and to feel the goodness that is the tickets in my hand...please hold....oh that was nice. 7:30 tonight. I'll see ya there!!!

Thursday, May 01, 2003

Just so you know

Do you live
with the beauty of music
in your soul?

Do you let it flow
over your head
past your shut eyes
to bathe your body
in incandescent sound waves?

I do.
I feel it flowing
through my veins.

It cleanses me,
takes the hurt and pain
from my life and
the stress from my day
like nothing else.

Kassandra

I've noticed...when I get mad, I clean. I dunno why. But by the time I'm done, I'm usually not so pissed off. Well, that's a lie, but at least I'm kinda tired and in a purty room. My room is kinda clean. I gave up and tried to sleep again but it didn't work...I just should have kept cleaning.

Happy lunch time! Yummy omlette and grapes. Happy lunch. It was nice. And I didn't even have to pay for it. We got certificates thru work and my boss just took care of the rest. Nice nice real nice. My boss really reminds me of my friends. If he was a little younger I'm sure we would hang out. Then again, maybe he's cool because he's been thru all of whatever he's been thru and he is who he is because of that.

Right....

I'm pretty sure I mentioned this in passing, but P, C and I wil be attending a bartending college. That's right, a college so we can be bartenders. Now, most people go to a 5 hour class or something and take a silly test. That's the easy way...but silly us decided we wants to go to 3 Saturdays worth of 8 hour classes 3 hours away. Smart. We're actually getting a super sweet deal. Normally it costs $599. But we're only paying $250 each. How nice is that? Oh well, we're going to learn how to make a bunch of drinks, get the most tips and to say no when people are too drunk. I'm sure there is more, but P is the one who set most of this up...so we'll see what happens when we go.

DAMN! IT'S MAY DAY!! I meant to make May Day baskets, wake up early and hang them on my friend's doors...shit. Oh well. Some other time I guess....like next year. Or June Day baskets.

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