Friday, June 13, 2003

My lungs hurt.

Ok yesterday I think my brain just decided to stop working. See, C (see see, c c?)....anyway C and I had made plans on Wednesday night to get chineese delivery and watch South Park at my parents. Shawn and I made plans Tuesday and Wednesday that we were going to get fucked up. Well...I didn't even realize it until I called Shawn after I got done with work. But I thought to myself, I can do this. So I did. I met C at my parents. I just couldn't stay there anymore. They actually came home yesterday so I didn't have to. YAY! C and I went to my place, turned some music on and started studying. Well...sorta studying. I could not concentrate and was doing really poor. Shawn showed up, C and I finished up eventually. Shawn got all creative/depressed. So while C and I were on the balcony talking and creating metaphors for love, he was writing.

I started to get all depressed over everything so Shawn and I went to the smoking room. We sat there talking for a really long time before we smoked. I read what he wrote and I let him read something of mine. After he read it...he just turns to me and says "Kelly, you're so strong." He couldn't really explain why, I was just a strong person. Then while smoking, I commented about how we don't really know anything about each other from before we met each other. And I really didn't know anything. But then he started talking...He told me sooo much stuff, I feel like I know him so much better. We laughed, we cried, we laughed again. I don't know how long he talked, but it was a long time. We took a break to go get something to drink and ended up putting a movie in instead of coming back and letting me talk. Not a big deal...there is more time. My sister came over around 10:30 or something. We smoked some more...she left. C left, I took a shower and Shawn watched Legally Blonde. I went to bed and Shawn did after the movie.

I feel so stressed out. I need more clothes, I need to put gas in my car, I need to pay my car payment, I need to pay car insurance, I need to pay the electric, I need to pay for my phone...and my check was only $500. That is so weak. Oh my goodness, and the adverage amount of my check is going to go down too cause I'm getting insurance through work. Not cool. But there really isn't a lot I can do. If I get a second job after I get my bartender's liscense then I'll have more money, but I won't have any free time. Working two jobs sucks, I've done it before and I don't really like it. Unless I have a fun job and even then...it may be fun, but it's still work. I wouldn't be able to go to Madison as much. Which would suck. But eventually, if I like bartending more than i like working at this piece of shite, then I might move on. Make bartending my career. It all depends.

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