Thursday, July 24, 2003

It's been really hard lately. With Dan, My Sister, Beppo... It's been really hard to stay positive.

But I think I'm doing better. Dan...well... It's getting easier. And I hate that. I feel so bad for just getting over the fact that he's gone. Sometimes, I feel like I'm heartless for just moving on and continuing with life as normal. But what else is there to do? I can't mourn him forever. My sister isn't going to die quite yet. She doesn't even have cancer. But she's still sick. And Beppo? Well, outta sight outta mind. Almost. It still sucks but I'm adjusting to that as well. What else can I do?

I have a really hard time dealing with change. If things are a certain way and I enjoy them, I don't like it being any different. A lot of times, even if I'm not happy, it takes me awhile to change something just because I'm used to it already. It throws off my groove if something is different. I think I did something wrong, so we're going to try it a different way until I get it right.

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