Friday, August 08, 2003

I was reading this post on Edie's blog about some hillarious guy that she's going to go on a date with who has this uber-interesting life. Well, the cynic in me came out and I immediately thought of how this guy will prolly need all the attention on him all the time like my ex, E. Which let me to think about it all....that fuckin sucked.

He was so horrible! He really did need all the attention on him. He got along well with most people and failed to see how much of a joke he was to them. I didn't see it until later. My bad. But he would tell me that in anything we did together, he would win and the only way I would win is if he let me. He wasn't just talking about games either. He was talking about conversation, emotions, life... I can't believe I never saw it before. Well, I saw it and thought that it was just his way of keeping an ego if a girl beat him. But that is so totally not cool. And he really did need all the attention showered on him. If he didn't feel he was getting enough he would walk up to random strangers and start a conversation.

Now my other ex, J is showing interest in me. Asking me to go dancing with him, calling me up to talk...I don't know. I broke up with him cause I didn't like him enough. And also because of E.

What I want to know is, why can't I get the guy I want? Why do I have to settle for the guys that I seem to attract? After not receiving any attention from guys for a long time, these guys just seem to show up and take advantage without knowing how desperate I'm feeling. So I end up with these nasty guys. Don't get me wrong, I'm friends with all my exes pretty much except E, but they aren't exactly the best looking/smartest guys. So...I'm stuck with the nice but not fun/exciting/attractive guys. My standard fall thru after a complete lack of attention. And I don't get that either. I mean I'm cute enough. Granted I'm not a supermodel or anything, but I'm cute. And I'm told I have a great personality. So what the fuck?

Bring it

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