Thursday, August 14, 2003

Until last night, I never understood how people could say they have no time for themselves. I always try to make me time...well, even if me time is with other people. But last night I spent 4 hours doing stuff that needed to be done or for someone else.

Right when I got home, P asked me to do the dishes. She cleaned the living room and bathroom, so I didn't have a problem with it. (we do that all the time, the "I-cleaned-this-so-you-clean-that"). After doing dishes, my phone beeped reminding me that I had to visit Toast. Well, shit. Ok sister, I won't be over. Ok D, I'm gonna be late. So I filled out applications for P until I had to leave. I got there right on time...which is late. I had to wait a half hour to see him.

Waiting was interesting. I read a bit of my book, but also observed the other visitors. I feel so white trash sometimes...but that's nothing. There were two older women and two ladies my age. The older women: one had a white tee shirt, black denim jeans that weren't black any more, too much jewerly and black pumps. The other one had a tank top on with no bra, short-shorts and too much make up. They seemed nice enough, it's just my middleclass attitude. Please know that I would never do or say anything to make them feel bad about anything and may befriend them if I see them again. It was just a total sterotype in my mind. The girls my age...well, both were bleach blonde. One was prego and the other had two kids. One was a little baby, maybe a month old and the other was a four year old terror, on a leash. This kid was crazy! When she let go of the leash, he would run around kicking her, hitting other people "on accident" and screaming. It was all so depressing I laughed out loud. Then my time talking with Toast was cut short because there were so many people there. Fuck you, you stupid jail. 44 days and the kid still doesn't know what he's going to do. He's my friend and all, but there isn't anyway I can help him. I can barely pay rent and my stupid apartment doesn't allow guests for more than two nights at a time unless I give notice/more money.

After that, I went over to D's. She had already put my beautiful godson, whom I haven't seen in a couple of months, to bed. So we watched cartoons. We were going to watch a movie, but she asked if I wanted to do it another night. We've both grown past each other so I don't know if there really will be another night. I agreed and left.

At home I filled out more applications for P and made dinner. By that time it was 9 and I gave up. I ate my pizza and watched About a Boy while C and P watched Harry Potter in P's room. McGovern called while I was watching my movie. I ignored it the first time (P did not want to talk/see him), then went to answer it the second sounding extra sleeping. I never said I was sleeping, so I didn't lie. He just assumed. He asked if tonight or tomorrow was a good time to come over and I said that P's parents were visiting (lie!) and she would be with them tomorrow. He sounded sad, but oh well. After I got off the phone, P was very thankful and told me that I didn't lie, her parents were in town! Yay! I hate lying.

P was craving a cigarette...I haven't smoked since Saturday when I clearly drank and smoked too much, so I gave her one of mine and sat outside with her. Once out there, we noticed a certain smell: Twaflé or in lamens terms, pot. We commented and giggled about how it wasn't us for once when from beneath us a neighbors asks us if we indulge. Damn, they caught us. We replied to the affirmative and had a little conversation with our neighbor and his friend (both older...mid 30's).

After C (who didn't really talk to me at all) left, P and I stretched and had silly conversation. Like normal. I showered and went to bed. Before midnight even...by 5 minutes.

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