Monday, December 01, 2003
I am so incredibly frusterated right now, I can feel it pushing down on my chest making it hard to breath. It's like I'm almost going to sneeze but don't. It's like I'm going to explode with tears and yells and I hate it. My stomach is boiling and my head is throbbing. It's not a fun time. I just want to get away! But at the same time, it's really rewarding to see your work be sent out to so many places, even if no one knows that you did it. What crap.
I don't want to talk about work because it bores people and really sucks to talk about, but at the same time, I just need to vent. It causes a conflict and makes me want to explode. AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! People are so stupid sometimes that even when the information is spelled out right in front of them, they question it. And it doesn't need to be questioned. Use the information with the latest date on it. Is that so hard?
* Deep breath *
Ok. No it's not ok. Even while driving home for lunch (Oh yeah, I had to go all the way to my parents (20 min drive) and clean up after my dog and feed the cats because Lion didn't come home last night) I couldn't relax. I can't calm down and this is why I'm so bitchy and tired at night. My life feels like it's a complete mess.
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Sad sad times. I went out and smoked a cigarette. Only my second since "quitting". I'm not proud but I feel better. The pressure is gone. Now I just feel used.
I don't want to talk about work because it bores people and really sucks to talk about, but at the same time, I just need to vent. It causes a conflict and makes me want to explode. AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! People are so stupid sometimes that even when the information is spelled out right in front of them, they question it. And it doesn't need to be questioned. Use the information with the latest date on it. Is that so hard?
* Deep breath *
Ok. No it's not ok. Even while driving home for lunch (Oh yeah, I had to go all the way to my parents (20 min drive) and clean up after my dog and feed the cats because Lion didn't come home last night) I couldn't relax. I can't calm down and this is why I'm so bitchy and tired at night. My life feels like it's a complete mess.
******************
Sad sad times. I went out and smoked a cigarette. Only my second since "quitting". I'm not proud but I feel better. The pressure is gone. Now I just feel used.
