Monday, January 05, 2004

Messed up 

Ummm. Somehow when I'm typing, the "happy" side of me comes out usually. I forget about how pissed off I was or it looses something in translation or I distance myself from it, I don't know. Something happens and I feel better. Let's hope that works, because things seemed really fucked up lately. And it's more than I can think about all at once.

So it was after bar time at Perkins on Friday night. I was sitting with Grover playing Speed and in walks a drunk Lion, P and some guy. They take over our table and we all play games. Lion brings up all sorts of strange topics. I stopped paying attention to him and all the sudden he says, "Oh yeah, he wants to come back to [my town] for a visit." He goes on for a bit about nothing and I ask him who he's talking about. "Vin."

(Let me stop for a moment and think and please note my stunned expression.)

Ok. What? Why? Why in the world would you bring this up? I'm not a fan of showing too much emotion in public. Especially if someone hurt me when I really shouldn't have let them. And why in front of people? I mean, I'm not hiding it, but I was trying to be discreet. So now I have to wonder and worry even about Vin. Again, when I really didn't want to in the first place.

I fucked up at work. It's kind of an important fuck up too. My boss hasn't even looked at me today. It wouldn't be so bad if I was here on Friday afternoon and could have answered their questions, but I went home because I was bored. Goody. I can't wait to hear the speeches they have prepared.

Changing subjects, I drove from my sister's house to my house yesterday, normally an hour and a half trip took three and a half hours. Mostly due to rubberneckers. I was going North/West on I90 and South/East I90 had two separate accidents. One a 15 car pileup and the other a 30 car pileup. Luckily, I got home ok and I really don't like driving in the snow alone.

Last night I was on the phone with Grover for 3 1/2 hours. Goodness knows why, but I learned a lot about him. I really love this boy...it sucks a lot that I'm not in love with him.

I don't think the "happy" typist came to visit today. Sorry.

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