Friday, January 30, 2004

Mmmm Chai 

So today is better. Strange. I'm not sure how. But it is already better than it was yesterday (thanks to my chai).


Yesterday was filled with people in the office gossiping. After my boss "talked" to me, Co-worker came in and told me something interesting. Not something I needed to hear, but it's my fault. Ok, this is a little complicated. Backstory: Receptionist wants Driver. Driver hates Receptionist. Receptionist told me that she wants Driver (I already knew, I mean come on, it was totally obvious). Driver asked me if it was true...I am wayyy too honest. I usually don't answer, but can't lie, so the answer is obvious. This time I actually told him. I know, my fault.

So the other night a bunch of people went for drinks (myself not included, because I am not 21...still). At the end of the get together, Receptionist invites Driver back to her house. Driver freaks out and calls Co-worker, mentioning in a frightened ramble that I warned him, but he didn't realize to what extent. Yesterday, Co-worker comes to me and I tell the truth, again, wishing I could lie the whole time. Receptionist still doesn't know.

Not a big deal. But not something I want to be involved in.

Then at lunch, my supervisor (who I was already not happy with for getting her boyfriend to yell at me instead of her doing it herself) decides that our department needs to take a lunch together. So it was Co-worker, Receptionist and Supervisor. And what did they do? Gossip about a different co-worker! What the hell people? I can only imagine what they say about me...

All day I was looking forward to go to my parent's house to have dinner, watch a movie and laugh. Only, my sister decided to be a complete fucking bitch for some reason. We watched Underworld (kind of dumb) and I missed part of it. The story didn't make sense to me, so I asked what was going on and no one would fucking tell me. I complained for a minute to try and get someone to tell me what was happening and no one did. Fuck that dude.

My sister and I live across town from each other and after the movie my dad was going to drop us off. I said I wanted to go home first (cause it's closer to my parent's). While my dad was getting the truck, my sister calls me spoiled and compares me unfavorably to her boyfriend in that regards. (Oh, big diss cause you're the stupid one who puts up with his shit.) So she pisses me off, we yell at each other for a bit and aldkjf aw;jf; I'm still really fucking pissed off about that. Cause it was totally uncalled for and just her being a total fucking [expletive deleted] without explanation.

So I got home and called Grover. He tried to cheer me up a bit when he realized that I was trying not to cry (damn, I was hoping he wouldn't notice). When I got off the phone with him, I felt a little better.

I smoked a quick one in hopes to find something to laugh about. Instead I completely broke down after sending Beppo a text message. All because of what a "." symbolized to me at that moment. After a long crying session and writing a bit, I felt better again. Showered and passed out.

Now all this might not seem like a big deal. But I don't spend a lot of my time feeling bad. I do my damnest to be happy, or at least content, all the time. But that's not possible. I needed to cry.

ps - new pictures, plus they're rearranged. If you actually look at them, tell me what ya think.

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