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Monday, March 15, 2004

It's hip to be a square 

I feel like I’m banging my head into the wall, backing up and doing it again. Over and over. Ok, here’s what happened.

Friday – Worked sucked. It was really busy, but I accomplished a lot, so I won’t complain too much.

After work I met Shawn and his boy. I just love his boy! What a darling. We went and saw a Secret Window (not a very good movie, but Johnny Depp…need I say more?). P, her man Stan, his friend Sunny (who Stan and P think it would be fun to see me and him talk, but he doesn’t really talk so…), Grover, Shawn, his boy and I all went. Big group. Fun. Mostly. P, Shawn and I snuck in Captn and Coke so that made it a little better.

Afterwards, Stan, P and I went to my apartment. I had a headache and all I wanted to do was pass out and sleep for 15 hours. Literally. So I took two Tylenol 3s. I got pretty loopy. But I didn’t feel depressed anymore (don’t fear for me, don’t lecture me). I finally passed out around 12:30.

Saturday – I woke up at 1:30. And cleaned. I cleaned my room and picked up the rest of the apartment. The day passed totally boring. When P got home, we called Grover. He came over and we watched the 1st Evangelian movie. Grover left, I sulked. Drummer Boy was supposed to come over and he didn’t even freakin call until midnightish. Then a million things happened where he was going to have one drink with his friend from work, but got left at the bowling alley and had to wait for his ride and while he was waiting he got drunk and couldn’t drive to my house. The last time I hung up the phone that night it was 2:47am.

More than pissed I was hurt. Talk about priorities. He promised he would call Sunday. I should know better by now.

Sunday – I woke up at 6am. Drove to a family pancake thing with my father. Hung out with family. Drove home. Napped with P. Did nothing except laundry really. P had to work, but when she was done, I met her for coffee and checkers. Neither of us felt like being home, cause we’re there all the time.

So we went to the bar. It’s my fault really, I suggested it. Just cause I’m sick of being at home waiting for the freaking phone to ring. Once I was there tho, I wasn’t feeling it. Even tho Mix, his roommate and their girls were there. It got better when Lion was there, surprisingly. I was fed drinks and got a pretty good buzz. It’d would be fun mostly, but then I would remember my phone wasn’t ringing and that would suck.

We played darts with the new bartender who wasn’t working that night; he can be named Blain. He was my partner in darts and we kicked ass. Lion has a mini-crush on him, I found out. Shit, I knew that already.

P and I went home. I got depressed again and just wanted to pass out but I couldn’t. My friend M called and I told him the story. I hate it when people are honest. I don’t really. But it hurts.

I passed out. Only to be woken by the phone ringing at 1:45am. The number popped up (so it wasn’t anyone in my phone book) but I didn’t think anything of it. So this guy starts talking to me, saying he met me in Denny’s. And that we did know each other. And I wore a blue bandana that night. But I hadn’t been in Denny’s and I was sleeping. So I bs-ed a lot, and figured out it was Blain and Lion. Once I said that, they hung up! Those jerks! So I called their asses back. Blain really wanted me to come for a walk with him, or meet them in the park, or go to a movie with him. I said I was in bed, and staying there. So he compromised with me saying “maybe” to going to see him tomorrow (today, Monday) at the bar.

So now I just don’t know. Do I have a boyfriend? He doesn’t seem like he wants a girlfriend. I just really need to talk to him. Soon. Honestly, this whole relationship so far is just ... not really good.

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