meet me in outerspace

It's a miracle. I can walk without assistance from people or crutches. I don't even have that stupid air cast on anymore. Sure it hurts a little, but it almost hurts more with it on. Ya know? Besides, I'd rather risk perment damage than play the safe side.

Not really.

But we don't have enough girls to play softball tonight if I don't play. Luckily Ben's mother is a nurse/almost a gp, so I'm gonna see if she'll look at it, wrap it and tell me if it's safe to play or not.

Other than that I'm just wrapped up in drama in my head. There isn't really drama going on, but I have to pretend there is because I'm insecure and an attention whore.

We won last night. But only by default. The other team was short three girls. We played anyway. And would have lost by 9. But we learned stuff. And I sprained my ankle.

So I'm hobbling around on crutches with an aircast on and trying to find someone to replace me. How not fun. This isn't what was supposed to happen.

I woke up with a pounding headache yesterday. The kind where if you bend over you feel like all the blood rushing there is going to make veins/arteries are going to explode. Then I almost fainted in the shower. I figured if there was ever a time to call into work, that was it. So I used my last vacation/sick day to sleep until noon, meet Ben for lunch and go to the eye doctor.

Apparently my eyes are bugging out of my head. Or at least that's what it feels like. Contacts may not fit my eyes anymore. I have to go back in a week to make sure the ones I got are ok. And I still have a headache.

But softball is looking better. And by better I mean we have a game tonight and actually have 10 people showing up. Horray for team work. There are a couple of people that have been super helpful with the whole softball thing. And it may be a false sense, but I'm feeling more optimistic because of it.

I hate it when people ask a question and then get mad because you didn't lie. IE:

D: Are you mad at me?
Me: Yes. I am.

Simple question, simple answer. I know I'll get over it, but apparently she feels the need to make her case one more time about how she's so busy that she can't spare an hour a week.

*** NEWS FLASH***

So we don't have a full 10 player team tonight. We're going to have to use an EP and even then we may be short one girl. This fuckin sucks.

I feel sorted out. At least for the moment.

Work has been easier. All I do is ride in a truck and hand crap out for the last week. And a little bit of next week too. Whee.

My family is crazy. The Texas/Lousiana branch here to visit spends most of the time watching season finales. Why do people invest so much time in tv? It's not real, ya know. I'm really super ok with not having it.

Then again, KP and I are watching the 6 ft under season 2 on dvd. And I guess I understand it. But I'm way more likely to get into it when it's on dvd. Just because then I can watch it whenever I want. And what's up with Brenda? Why is she such a super bitch lately?

Softball isn't really going that great. No one showed up to practice on Tuesday. I mean, a girl came because I dragged her ass there and had to go a half hour out of my way to drive her home. Other than that...some friends not on the team showed up later. After it was getting dark. But that's about it. I was and still am bummed about it. I don't know what's going to happen at our first game on tuesday when no one shows up. I put a lot of effort into this and it just figures that it won't work out.

Every freaking time.

Whatever, let's not focus on that.

My sister got an ipod for her birthday and I'm super jealous. A few days before, I told my parent's that was what I wanted and she just jumped in with "me too". I was going to get her a napster membership card, but I'm way poor right now.

Way poor. And it sucks. Oh well, let's have a party.

It seems like the ratio of bad days to good days is a little off balance lately. I'm not too sure what's going on, but Karma and all it's glory should start recognizing my anti-litter stance and fill my days with joy.

I was on a crazy business trip from Tuesday to Wednesday. As in, car accidents (I wasn't involved and no one was hurt), lost credit cards, incompetent employees and 24 hours without sleep. We drove to Minnesota. We worked. We drove home.

Of course when I get home it's not much better. There are still no clean dishes. Plus when I went to sleep at 8 am (after said 24 hours without sleep), I was woken up at 1:30 by drunken roommate and friends. 1:30 in the afternoon! Is that not ridiculous?

Whatev.

Good news tho, party at Koko's tonight. Well, party/get together. Drinks and Star Wars Clone Wars Animated Series. I think so anyway. She's serving tacos at 5, which I won't be able to make unfortunately, due to my redneck hobby which combines shotguns and clay disks. But I'm so there after my throat is sore from screaming "pull" at old men with hairy ears.

I may lose kp. I may lose Grover.

Two of the most important people in my world. Going to the otherside of the earth. To a country at war.

I've not thought too deeply on this yet. It just seems unreal.

stolen from an email to kasey-

Today is not a good day. Today is the kind of day where I woke up, bleary eyed from sleeping in my contacts, nasty from a night of ... activity, and confused because the clock says 7:17 when it should say 6:30. On top of that, my roommate decided that today of all days is the day he should wake up at 7 and take a shower. So I was pretty much left with no option but to attend work in glasses and without showering (and there's only so much a washcloth can do). How unhappy am I right now?

But wait, there's more. Tonight I have to go to dinner with Ben and his parents AND his grandparents. How terrible! I'm kind of scared they might expect me to talk. And I don't know if I can deal with that.

We'll focus on yesterday tho. Good day. Mostly. Didn't do much at work and got to leave at noon. It was beautiful out! Perfect day to paint my toenails while enjoying the sun on the deck. Ben showed up a couple of hours later and we talked and whatnot until 5. OH! I cooked. I fried some steak my dad gave me a couple of days ago and it was soooo tasty.

The plan was to go to Madison and have dinner with D and her man at Olive Garden. And I was looking forward to this in a way you can't imagine. I love Olive Garden. But then when I called my sister (while we were on the way to Madison) she breaks the horrible news to me that trap shooting started that night. I had to turn around, change my clothes and hang out with a bunch of hicks. How stupid.

Instead of Olive Garden we had chinese and watched The Office. The original BBC version. I didn't really like it. It was ok and funny at times, but really kind of bored me.

Oh and top of everything, I've been incredibly emotional for some reason. Especially last night. It may have scared Ben a bit how quickly and without any reason I suddenly fell apart and into tears. Poor guy.

I just bought these shoes today. I'm super psyched. Cause not only are they awesome shoes, but the shipping was free. And you're prolly thinking, big deal, it'll still take forever for them to get there. That my friend is where you're wrong. Cause I got an email saying they were upgrading my shipping (which originally would take forever) so it's only gonna take two days. Just because they love me. How awesome is that?

In other news... there is no other news.

It's fuckin May and snowing. How stupid.

Last week was an awful week for me. I think I cried every day and came to work angry and lonely. I left angry and frustrated. Still lonely.

But this weekend was just fine. Ben and I spent the whole weekend together and didn't mention work once. I wish I could have called in. Stupid sick/vacation days. Stupid.

This isn't helping.