meet me in outerspace

Ben and I got into a pretty big fight last night. Fueled by lots of alcohol, it was not fun.

All I want is someone to tell me it's ok, but I'm stuck at work and feel like crying when I think about it.

Happy Birthday to me! On the Twenty First of July, I turned Twenty One! Horray!

It was a long celebration weekend.

Wednesday - My sis, her ex/friend/i don't know what the fuck is going on between them, my other sister and I went to Country Thunder to see Tim McGraw. It was a pretty decent time. Sweaty and super expensive, but a good time anyway. It was $15 to park, because the vip parking pass I had wasn't good until the next day. Then it was $5 for a bracelet that said you were 21. Then $5 a drink. It was costly.

Tim was lookin hott! And his little wifey-poo came out and sang a song with him. His kids came out for a bit too.

Midnight struck while we were stuck in the parking lot traffic. My sisters and friend sang to me while my phone was ringing with other people hoping to be the first. Ben won, Koko was 2nd, Sitter was 3rd.

We went to a bar. I was freezing and ready to be in bed. But I got checked out a lot and saw a bar fight. Good times.

Thursday - I woke up when thunder shook the house. It was only 9:30, so I went back to sleep until 11. My sister came by to wake me up, I put out my arms to hug her and we hung out in bed for awhile talking. It was a really nice time.

We stopped in Madison on the way home to meet Ben and shop some. I got the cutest shoes. Shiney silver sandals!

The night was fun. I didn't get completely smashed, I didn't even feel drunk (I may have been, but only a little).

Kp surprised the hell out of me. Well, Kp, Shawnathan and Koko too. Shawn called earlier to say he wasn't going to make it because he had to work. So when Kp showed up at the bar and asked me to meet her at her car, I wasn't expecting to see him. I know I should have seen through it, but I didn't and was super shocked to see him. Kp and Koko got me the coolest gifts. Because it was my golden birthday, they got me 21 golden gifts. I was covered in gold glitter with a golden tiara, wand thing, sash and makeup.

Unfortunately, Koko wasn't there. I'm not really sure why. Grover bailed on me too. That brought me down a little.

Friday - Ben was supposed to hang out with me, but he had to work. Shawn came over (at 8 in the morning!!!) and we chilled for awhile. Cruised a bit. My sister called and reminded me we had a pedicure appointment at 1:30.

I don't remember the rest of the day.

Saturday - My sister, her ex/whatever picked me up at 12:30 to go back to Country Thunder. Sure it's a long drive, but Big and Rich. Come on. We were only two miles or so away from it when we stopped at a gas station. A cop car pulled up and announced that there was a tornado and everyone should stay inside. Did we? No. We walked to the edge of the parking lot and watched it like any normal person would.

Of course then it was rainy and muddy and icky. So we went shopping for an hour or so before actually going to the grounds.

Because of the storm, the schedule of the show was messed up. So we got to see Terri Clark. Hmmm, ok. I'm not a country music fanatic, so I wasn't freaking out like other people. Silly people.

We almost got into a fight with a group of people. But the haters gave it up eventually.

Sunday - Once I got home, I stayed home. I was tired and just wanted to cuddle. But Ben went out for dinner with one of his friends. So he wasn't home until 10 or so. It was a long boring day. I mean, I napped (and missed grover's call to go to miller-town) and watched Sailor Moon, so it wasn't all bad. Of course I had to fight with Ben when he did get home.

PS - I really dislike my old landlord. He's an ass.

On Friday night, Ben and I went to one of his friend's house. She is cool shit. And I've met her before and liked her then, but for some reason didn't really want to see her again. Prolly cause I'm anti-social by nature. Anyway, we'll call her Denim.

It was fun. Strange, as she asked for advice/an opinion right away. But that's alright. I'm a know-it-all anyway. There is also some plans for a "camping" weekend. Denim, Ben and another fella grew up together on the same street and try to get together once a year for a camping trip/party. It didn't happen last year. This year Denim wants to go to her family's cabin up north somewhere. All I know is it's on a lake with a bunch of bedrooms, a boat and a cleaning service. Hor-fuckin-Ray.

I suffered one of the worst cases of PMS of my life last night, I was so crabby. It's amazing that people put up with me. I believe I told Ben to "fuck off" while at my parent's house. You just don't tell me to calm down when I'm pissed off.

Or expect me not to get pissed off when you ask me to throw down cash on food, ignore what I wanted to order and then don't save any for me anyway. My family is so rude sometimes.

But sure, I could see I was in an unreasonably bad mood and tried hard to cheer up. So when Ben and I went to dinner, I did. He's just such a cutie, how could I not?

I really do. No lie. Cause they make me spend money to go to the doctor and get prescriptions because they like to bite. Is it a fair trade? I don't think so. So vote no on bugs.

Apparently last weeks bug bite caused an allergic reaction and/or is infected. So my ankle is huge (the same one I sprained of course), super itchy and I'm taking pills for both. Any of the anti-itch creams really suck too. I'm going to have to wait three days for anything to happen non-itch-wise.

Kp went to the doctor with me. I didn't even ask her to go cause she never wants to leave the house. But she offered! And I'm so glad she did. I ended up waiting for an hour after my appointment time before I saw the doctor. I don't know how much the doctor appreciated having two giggly girls in the exam room together, but they made me wait forever. So I don't care.

This weekend is the first weekend in a super long time that I haven't had to work. It feels amazing. Oh my gosh, I forgot to mention I quit my second job. YAY! Well, it was a mutual thing really. They said if I left, I shouldn't come back. I said I wasn't planning on it. So, mutual. We're "still friends", but I think I'm going to have to burn the metaphorical box of memories I was keeping first.

So tonight and tomorrow, cleaning and going through old junk. Sunday, cook-out with the sister. Lookin to be a great weekend already.

I just watched this trailer. And um, I don't know. The series is probably my favorite set of books ever. So to see it with really bad special effects/animation. Ew. That's not going to stop me from seeing it, I just wish they would have done it better.

Ben and I have been together for one year and one day. We didn't really get to celebrate yesterday because of softball. So instead we celebrated by getting an appartment together. Tonight we're going to dinner.

I got flowers at work today. Pretty flowers, no roses. And a card with his messy handwriting.

I hope your year was as great as mine. Love Ben

Dear, dear Tech's graduation party tonight. Happy Congratulations! You're all growed up and done with college, moving to australia and taking your wifey and child with you.

As much as I adore Tech and miss the "family" from last year... I'm not looking forward to tonight. Not in the P-A-R-T-Y mood.

I don't really want to talk about it, but I feel like I don't have any real friends (it's a feeling that may or may not pass). Not many people are around to talk. Kp lied to me and I don't even care anymore. What can I do? Nada. So I'll do that. It's not that big of a deal even. But don't try to spare my feelings by lying.

Kp and I will no longer be living together after July.

I went to look at a 1 bedroom apartment this morning. Tiiiiny. Ity bity. As soon as I saw it I knew I wouldn't like, but it's not like I can tra-la-la wrong place, turn and run. See ya never!

Up the stairs and down the stairs, I said too small and he asked if I wanted two bedrooms. Two? For me? You shouldn't have.

A short, little walk across the freshly mowed grass revealed a super cute two bedroom house. That's right, house.

Pros: Washer and Dryer. No wall-neighbors. New appliances. Air-conditioning. Right near work. New windows/doors/insulation. Includes water, garbage and something else...mayhap.

Cons: Small bedrooms. Small living room. Small kitchen. Small bathroom, with no bathtub but a super nice looking showerhead (ya know what I'm sayin). Costly.

$625 and it's not big. Plus the electric bill and propane heating. Propane? Is that expensive?

At the moment, I really like it. It's just so clean and shiny! Not to mention, I'm feeling the "it's time to move" vibe. I even went through my clothes this morning before work and parted ways with a ton of them. I don't love you anymore!

But as far as living ... the future is unstable. While I love my lover to life (because death is just depressing), who knows where he'll be earning his bread this winter. Such is the Mango. Not to mention the anger he's feeling towards his current employer. Who can k-now?

I have another apartment to look at this afternoon. Two bedrooms, lots of rooms, owned by the same guy. There it's only $550, but we'd have to pay mucho dolla for all utilities. No washer/dryer, more run down building...eh.

WE SHALL SEE!!!