Thursday, December 19, 2002
Ok, my earlier post that got totally lost was about a ton of stuff.
I guess I never said anything on here about how J called. He asked "Is there any chance that we are going to get together and try to work this relationship out, cause I'm going over to a girl's house tonight and what you say now will decided what happens tonight." Personally, I think a few of things right away. 1: Is he trying to make me jealous to get me to say, no don't go, I love you? 2: Sounds like he doesn't care one way or the other. 3: Guilt free is the way to be, it's an easy way out for me. So I told him that there prolly wasn't a chance in the near future that I could work my issues out so he should go and have fun. He sounded a bit shocked and then asked if it really was over. I said yes. We did the usually, let's be friends thing and then hung up. I was super happy. Finally, guilt free.
Then I had a dream that night that J either called me up or somehow we were talking. He was bragging and just shoving this girl in my face. Telling me how happy he was and that we may have only been broken up for a couple of days and he had already found a replacement for me. I felt awful, as expected, and called/talked to a couple of my friends but they all said the same sort of thing. "Yeah, why haven't you found someone already?" So I woke up feeling like a failure.
So C-more called me last night. She's one of my friends as well as J's roommate's girlfriend. We talked about all sorts of stuff before she tells me why she called. Apparently, J wouldn't stop talking or thinking about me last Wednesday. She told him to wait it out and give me time, but I guess he decided he couldn't do that. She told me about the girl he's taking out too. She's a "psycho-bitch" according to her.
Another thing C-more told me about was E. Apparently he got into a car accident and no one knows anything about it. I was ticked off cause no one told me, but more scared than anything. It's so strange. He was supposed to be meeting M at Kitchen but was headed towards a totally different town. And after his girlfriend/exgirlfriend told the cops he usually goes to Kitchen, they called there looking for who he was going to meet. Cops don't normally do that, so we figure something was up. People are guessing drugs, alcohol or excessive speed. I am not of the know and am worried sick. No one, not a single fucking person knows his phone number. So no one knows what is going on or anything and it sucks. My friend/coworker called various hospitals for me, but he wasn't in any of them. She also called information and got a number that may or may not be his. I don't know if I'm going to call it or not, I may get M to do it, but I dunno. It's just weird to find out after I've been so anxious to see him for the last week.
The rest of my post I lost was about me and my super mood swings. I don't to go into it now, it just seems silly.
I guess I never said anything on here about how J called. He asked "Is there any chance that we are going to get together and try to work this relationship out, cause I'm going over to a girl's house tonight and what you say now will decided what happens tonight." Personally, I think a few of things right away. 1: Is he trying to make me jealous to get me to say, no don't go, I love you? 2: Sounds like he doesn't care one way or the other. 3: Guilt free is the way to be, it's an easy way out for me. So I told him that there prolly wasn't a chance in the near future that I could work my issues out so he should go and have fun. He sounded a bit shocked and then asked if it really was over. I said yes. We did the usually, let's be friends thing and then hung up. I was super happy. Finally, guilt free.
Then I had a dream that night that J either called me up or somehow we were talking. He was bragging and just shoving this girl in my face. Telling me how happy he was and that we may have only been broken up for a couple of days and he had already found a replacement for me. I felt awful, as expected, and called/talked to a couple of my friends but they all said the same sort of thing. "Yeah, why haven't you found someone already?" So I woke up feeling like a failure.
So C-more called me last night. She's one of my friends as well as J's roommate's girlfriend. We talked about all sorts of stuff before she tells me why she called. Apparently, J wouldn't stop talking or thinking about me last Wednesday. She told him to wait it out and give me time, but I guess he decided he couldn't do that. She told me about the girl he's taking out too. She's a "psycho-bitch" according to her.
Another thing C-more told me about was E. Apparently he got into a car accident and no one knows anything about it. I was ticked off cause no one told me, but more scared than anything. It's so strange. He was supposed to be meeting M at Kitchen but was headed towards a totally different town. And after his girlfriend/exgirlfriend told the cops he usually goes to Kitchen, they called there looking for who he was going to meet. Cops don't normally do that, so we figure something was up. People are guessing drugs, alcohol or excessive speed. I am not of the know and am worried sick. No one, not a single fucking person knows his phone number. So no one knows what is going on or anything and it sucks. My friend/coworker called various hospitals for me, but he wasn't in any of them. She also called information and got a number that may or may not be his. I don't know if I'm going to call it or not, I may get M to do it, but I dunno. It's just weird to find out after I've been so anxious to see him for the last week.
The rest of my post I lost was about me and my super mood swings. I don't to go into it now, it just seems silly.
